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In praise of Stepfathers

(21 Posts)
kittylester Sun 17-Jun-18 11:16:23

As it's Father's Day, I thought I'd start this thread.

My younger son is a brilliant stepdad to his partner's two teenage boys and copes brilliant with all that comes with that.

Lots of you will know about DD3'S ex (The Idiot!) and the fallen out from that. Her new partner copes with all that and is a wondering dad to her children. And will be brilliant with their own baby due in October.

crazyH Sun 17-Jun-18 11:26:51

Yes, there are some wonderful stepdads around. Well done to the 2 stepfathers in your family. Happy Father's Day to them !!!

Teetime Sun 17-Jun-18 11:55:55

My husband has been a marvellous step Dad to my youngest daughter and she loves him to bits as do we all. Enjoy that very expensive bottle of wine she bought you today. xxx

glammanana Sun 17-Jun-18 11:57:42

kitty I'm so glad to see your DD has such a good outcome from the past couple of years and looking forward to a new happy addition in October she deserves to be happy (after idiot saga) x

Fennel Sun 17-Jun-18 12:03:54

Good idea for a thread, kitty, and glad to hear the good news from your family.
I had forgotten it was father's day, spoke to eldest son on the phone and he wished DH happy father's day. DH is their stepdad, and has virtually brought them up since they were very small.

kittylester Sun 17-Jun-18 12:05:46

Thank you glamma. Unfortunately, he still tries to spoil things but she has the brilliant stepdad to start with her now!

kittylester Sun 17-Jun-18 12:07:00

Start??? Stand!!!! Pesky phone.

tanith Sun 17-Jun-18 13:34:04

My husband has been stepdad to my 3 and my GC for 25 yrs and I know they love him and appreciate him but they never acknowledge him on Father’s Day which makes me really sad for him as he has no biological children and is now very ill. ?

Luckygirl Sun 17-Jun-18 13:41:29

Oh tanith - that is a shame.

I do think that step-parenting is a huge and difficult task and hats off to anyone who manages this well.

crazyH Sun 17-Jun-18 14:40:40

So sorry for your husband Tanith. Hope his health improves flowers

HildaW Sun 17-Jun-18 14:59:23

All hail the Stepdads I say. DH is a stepdad as was his father....and a brilliant step granddad to boot. My own father was not a nice man and a huge failure as a father so yay for stepdads who fill those gaps!

Luckylegs9 Sun 17-Jun-18 15:01:34

My beloved husband was a wonderful stepdad and grandad, they say they couldn't have had better. I am so sorry or your husband is so ill Tanith and I do hope your children are there for him on this Fathers Day. I still miss my dad, there was no one like him.

Greyduster Sun 17-Jun-18 16:23:12

I have to put in a word for Stepdads too. My son has two now adult stepsons and being their stepdad has not always been easy for someone who had no experience of raising children, but he has always gone the extra mile for them and has a good solid relationship with them. I don’t know whether they acknowledge him on Father’s Day, but I hope that they do.

agnurse Sun 17-Jun-18 18:26:22

SFIL has been more of a dad to Hubby than Hubby's own father was. Hubby considers SFIL his dad.

Smileless2012 Mon 18-Jun-18 07:57:29

My dear step dad who is sadly no longer with us was a lovely man and as with agnurse's hubby he was more than a dad to me than my own father.

Floradora9 Mon 18-Jun-18 19:01:50

How about a good word for step grandparents as well . We are close to our step granchildren ( all grown up ) and one of them once said that we were the grandparents she would have chosen . How nice is that ?

grannyactivist Mon 18-Jun-18 23:54:22

The Wonderful Man adopted my brood after we married and most definitely thinks of them and treats them as his own so I tend to forget that technically my parents-in-law are, I suppose, step-grandparents to my older children. They are known to all of their grandchildren by their Christian names and they have never shown any partiality.

gillybob Tue 19-Jun-18 06:40:07

Mine too grannyactivist he took my two on when they were both very young. My sons “real father” left when he was only a few months old and my DD’s father died very young. My DH has been the only dad they can really remember. He has always loved them unconditionally.

agnurse Tue 19-Jun-18 15:50:04

Floradora9

Absolutely. My parents are stepgrandparents to my DSD. In fact, on the day we got married, my parents said it was a special day for them with her because she became their first granddaughter, and she would be their granddaughter just as all of their other grandchildren would be their grandchildren. My cousin is married to a woman who has 3 children from a previous marriage. Those children are adults and have children themselves. My cousin is a wonderful stepgrandfather to them.

Bluegal Wed 20-Jun-18 17:20:53

Awww Tanith....so sad! My DH has only been step-dad/GD for 10 years. Two of them acknowledge him on father's day but two don't. I know they like him but I don't know why they don't feel the need to show him? He notices but doesn't make any difference. Mind you, the same two; its hit and miss if I get a mothers day card so maybe some kids just don't think or don't think it matters? I'm not a great lover of these fabricated money spinning days myself so maybe they have picked up on it from me?

Either way so long as he knows they love him am sure that's all that counts. x

petra Thu 21-Jun-18 08:50:15

My Daughter asked her stepfather to walk her down the isle at her wedding last month, even though her birth father was there.
When I asked her " what do you think your father will say"
she said " I don't care, he's the one who's always been there for me"
It meant so much to him.