Unexpected and scary

And keep in mind that he will be as nervous as you are.

Go for it.

You seem to have answered your own question.... ask him for dinner at your place, see how the evening progresses, and THEN afterwards see if you are suitable together to go away for a weekend.

I would prefer to go away to a hotel, only allow him to sleep at your own house when you are sure of things in your mind.
I think a weekend away will make things more special for both of you.

Diana54 whatever you decide ....enjoy! If it was me I'd go for home turf and also admit my apprehension....bet he's apprehensive too, so a chat will help both of you!

Either way - and I think I would do the supper option at home - I would make very sure someone you trust knows what you are doing and where. Have an arrangement with them that they are to contact the authorities after a certain time if they haven't heard from you - say after you reckon he will have left - to say you are ok. If you decide he is going to stay and he has your interests at heart he won't mind you ringing friend to say you are ok and having a great time.

Well I'd prefer the hotel, single rooms , for yourself and see what transpires. Then at least you can retreat /leave if you are not happy. Difficult to get him to leave your house if you want to! Also if it goes wrong he can't accuse you of leading him on and then rejecting him.
Actually it is hard to advise as only you know this man and what he's like. But I would always err on the side of caution till I knew someone really well.

I would opt for the hotel too in the unlikely event it happened to me?
Whatever you decide good luck and much happiness for the future ?

I'd go for the hotel for all the reasons others have said. Also, I think one or other of you might not be comfortable doing it in the bed you shared with your husband.
Good luck whatever you decide

I don’t think you should do anything with any body if you can’t talk to them first. It shouldn’t be too difficult to ask him general questions and then lead the conversation round to what he was thinking was the way to go.

What happened to getting to know someone so well that it just happens when the time comes with no preamble. It seems bizarre to me to be planning what to do if it goes tits up and talk of people checking to see you're ok, blimey if that's the case step back, take a breath and don't do it. I guess if you need to ask, you're not ready, so wait until you are, things should progress at their own pace and happen naturally.

Go for it! If dancing caused a flutter throw caution to the wind and have some fun. If you both feel sparks the duvet dancing will come easy

Dear Diana, just do it! Tomorrow if tonight is too late.

I hope you have all the enjoyment with your lover that I have had with mine.

And it was me that bundled him into bed, tout de suite

Diana54 I think I would prefer to invite him to dinner at your home and see how things progress. A weekend away sounds lovely but I should wait a while for that if I were you.

I agree with Icanhand them back. Talk to him about his and your expectations and go from there. Saves any embarrassing misunderstandings.
If couples can’t talk how can they contemplate more intimate things ?

I didn't give any background, so a quick update now.
I married at 20 then 3 daughters in quick succession so it was a very " girlie" house, now I have 7 grandchildren.
Clothes. I have plenty of everyday stuff but nothing less than 20 yrs old for going out, so I had to borrow an evening dress from my second daughter who is size 12 like me. She decked me out in a simple dark blue sleeveless gown, then took me to the local health spa and her hairdresser. All that took 10 yrs off me I just didn't realise how dowdy I looked before, what was unexpected was the effect on my date, his eyes were on stalks, the usual complements but it was the way he looked at me that was different.
Dancing my tummy wasn't just fluttering, it was sizzling and for a 65 yr old granny that is really scary. Desire is in his eyes - as well as his hands, nothing inappropriate and I haven't encouraged him yet but I don't expect him to ignore the right signals.
Thanks for all your cautionary messages, he's not going to grab me and ravish me and if either of us does freeze after supper the evening will be a disappointment not a disaster and we will both know the score

Well I wish you all the luck in the world Diana
I think it all sounds very exciting and I believe you are having a second chance of love and happiness.
I and many others envy you.

My mother was widowed at 58 and, though she went out with male friends, had no close relationship until she was in her late 80's. The first time they went away he arranged the hotel and offered to book two rooms, so she had the choice of sharing his room or not - I think this is probably the answer. If you are tense all evening things are not likely to go as well as it could if you know you are in control of the situation.
He did eventually start to stay overnight at her house (she hated his flat) and was always careful to leave later in the morning so that neighbours would not know that he had stayed.
Though a younger woman might not be bothered about what people might think, if you are worried about your reputation there is nothing wrong with being discrete,

Just go for it - I did! No regrets - we are very happily married now.

I have in the last month been in this very situation. Widowed for 9 years and aged 70 when we met and he widowed for just 6 months. We have family in common which is how we met. We started by meeting up about once a month and just got on so well. I was 'keen' from the start though very shy. After two years of good friendship he suggested spending a couple of days away, and I said I would like that. He asked several times after that if I was still happy to go away and then eventually said his next question was single or double room. I asked him which he would prefer to which he said 'double' and I said that was fine by me. We had three of the happiest days I could have wished for, and that was just a couple of weeks ago. We both have felt that neutral ground worked best for us. Our relationship couldn't be happier.

Wow Greengage, good for you, how lovely. Just shows, we never know what might happen.

A lovely evening out rounded off with coffee at home this time and I have invited him to supper next week so fingers crossed.
Back to reality today I have the 3 youngest grandchildren for the day, 2 boys 5 and 7 and a 9 yr old girl who is very sensible and will help a lot, so now deciding where to take them.

Reading this thread it has struck me that it highlights one of the really good and nice things about Gransnet ...access to lots of experience and wise advice from people who understand possible fears and trepidation!

Great Diana, sounds like it's going really well. Look forward to an update? Very happy for you.

So glad you clarified it all Diana, hope it all goes well and leads to a lifetime of fun x

So pleased for you Diana. I hope it continues to go well.
Sending you my best wishes for your future happiness x