Help coping with emotions re elderly parents

I hope you weren't referring to me oldbatty.

"I will get over it, no thanks to people like you 2."

My one liner was laced with sarcasm.
Further up the thread I had contributed my thoughts which were sympathetic to your life experiences.

holdingontometeeth I read your post as sarcastic towards the unpleasant poster. If oldbatty was referring to you as well I expect it was because she was smarting from the other post and it coloured her interpretation of the next post too.

I understand you perfectly holdingon and shared your sentiment.
That poster is often unpleasant.

so sorry folks if i caused any upset.

My sympathies to this poster. I row often with my mother when she goes shopping ans stands for ages deciding wether to buy ham at 2.00 or ham at 2.50. I rage at her because she can afford it. I suppose she has always crimped so will not change now. I think there may be a small inheritance but I would rather she spent her money on herself

Ethelbags ?

Thanks ReadyMeals and annsixty.
Best wishes oldbatty.

I have great sympathy for the OP and all others who had fraught relationships with their parents.
I can empathise, as my childhood was horrid, but while my siblings prefer to nurse their anger, I decided that our parents had been through rough times themselves, and had never been taught to be loving, kind people.
Consequently they did the best they could, which was rubbish, but perhaps not their fault.
In that way I have been able to let it go, and I am certain I hurt less now than my siblings do.
I wish peace to everyone with troubled past.

Hi Old Batty - wow, some of this could be me.
I really want to drop the resentment I feel around my ninety plus mother, now living in a care home. And the other posters - yep our mum did the divide and rule triangulation between myself and my two brothers.

My mum, having sold her house, so with a hefty bank balance is now planning to give her grandson money to pay off debts - tuition fees, soopah doopah wedding and honeymoon. And to throw in a deposit for buying a flat (in her eyes are first grandchild emojis).

Yep, I’m feeling bitter, he’s ‘natch not my son, but the only grandson. There are four granddaughters, of which I have
two, but “ the girls will be alright because they’ll get rich husbands” .

It’s as if my mum who is very fond of her grandson is asking my permission for her to “lend” him money. And to facilitate it - help with the paperwork.

Both my mum and myself agree he is unlikely to pay it back.

So Batty, yep, feels like we can love them, our mothers, but our capacity to trigger those old resentments around the past spring up with a new trigger again and again.

Good luck with today - take the long view, and yep, a hefty swig of red,
Cheers!

thanks folks, I feel less isolated.