Breaking away

How come it took you 30 years?

What Ginny says!
We really don’t need ‘friends’ like the one you describe.

We all have toxic people in our lives. They can be friends or family, work colleagues etc etc. Some people we can cut out of our lives, others its not so easy if they are family, but in that case its about 'management'. If anyone causes you upset or distress.....its our choice as to whether we limit our time, not see them etc....we are treated how WE allow people to treat us

Time to say goodbye. Why would you waste your time with such a nasty person? Surely you have better things to do and nicer people in your life?

There seems to be no friendship on her part . Walk away and find someone you can enjoy being with.

What definition of ‘friend’ do you have?

I'm glad that you have made a self valuing choice crazyH.

No one needs that level of toxicity in their lives so good for you.

There are some lovely people around that want the best for us, for themselves and for any situation so find them and leave the meanies in the past.

I've met some lovely ladies here on GN, some in person and some in the ether - or "on the cloud" - as DD's say :-)

Enjoy your toxic free time and although it gets harder as we age I hope you can fill the space you've cleared with some joyous, kind friends.

I have been in a similar position, I do not know why I met with my "friend" on a weekly basis, I would dread it for a couple of days before, be in a foul mood the day of meeting a feel relief when it was over, madness on my part. I have not seen her for a couple of months, due to holidays and excuses on my part, it feel so good I have no idea why I kept the "friendship" going.

Thinking of you crazyH, I am in a similar situation, she is too busy to see me over the summer, even though I am on my own so not replying to emails and hopefully the 40 year friendship will lapse. You really do not need a toxic person in your life and I know exactly how you feel with the sense of freedom and the lack of being judged. There is no place for homophobia, racism and misogyny in my life.

I feel not all friendships are meant to last forever and this one certainly sounds like its run its course.

I wouldn't even bother to explain myself, she wont change, those types of people never do.

Best thing is what you've done, move on and enjoy your life.

Not before time!
She sounds a very unpleasant person. If you haven’t got it in you to tell her a few home truths (tempting!) just make sure you are otherwise engaged if she contacts you and keep your distance.

Sounds awful, how could you look forward to meeting with this 'friend' ?
Friendship should be a two way thing.