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Family moving in

(70 Posts)
Nanna58 Sat 18-Aug-18 15:31:06

Due to a gap between moving out of one house and into another ( 2 months) my DD , DSIL, DGS , the dog and Tony the fish ( I know, sounds a bit Mafia but DGS named it!) are bunking in with us. They are no problem, have made it quite clear they don’t need running around after, and DD who is very handy already has a list of jobs she says needs doing. But there will be stuff in the house that isn’t going into storage, due to their jobs there will be coming and goings at odd times, and of course only one bathroom. Just wanted to know from you wise ladies any ideas on how to make things tick along for those few weeks.

Yellowmellow Sun 19-Aug-18 14:24:16

I've got the same scenario. My son and partner are in rented housing. Have just bought a new build. They will be moving in for 6/8 weeks between end of lease and the finish date for the house. Really not looking forward to for for much the same reasons. At least it is just for 6/8 weeks and not forever, although I'm sure it's going to feel like it, but what do you do?

craftynan Sun 19-Aug-18 14:43:14

One of mine moved in while between selling one house and buying another. There were 5 of them and only 1 bathroom but we managed fine. DH had died about a month previously so the company was very welcome, I missed them when they went.

Jobey68 Sun 19-Aug-18 15:30:11

Our ES and DIL lived with us for two years while they paid for their wedding and saved for a house, it was hectic and messy but apart from the odd tiff we all got on just fine, we do have two shower rooms and a second living area so we were not always on top of each other.

Just had them to stay plus little granddaughter for the weekend and reminded us of old times, they are still noisy and messy!! ?

keriku Sun 19-Aug-18 16:02:04

My brother lives in Australia with his wife and 3 girls, when they come home, they all stay in my mum & dad’s 3 bedroom, one bathroom house where they brought up me & my 4 brothers. They all just muck in and get on with it, then the rest of us descend...... we all take food and drink and just manage fine. Of course there are ups and downs, that’s normal. My parents are glad to be able to help as it’s unlikely they will ever travel back to Oz.

ReadyMeals Sun 19-Aug-18 17:17:13

Hire one of those portable toilet/shower blocks that you can get for festivals. Part of the hire fee is they come and pump it out and service it when needed.

hopeful1 Sun 19-Aug-18 17:49:48

Just turn a blind eye and a deaf ear..... to everything. Mess, arguments, no food in the cupboard and so on. I have taken in family a few times for quite a few months at a go. It is hard but we do look back and laugh as to how we all managed to not kill each other Lol! Put it this way... we are all still talking. Enjoy.

Longdistancegrnny Sun 19-Aug-18 17:51:41

My cousin in the USA had their son and wife move in 'temporarily' and they are still there 10 years and three children later - so watch out Nanna58!
I'm sure it will be fun if everyone tries hard, at least the goldfish should be easy to look after!

Nanna58 Sun 19-Aug-18 18:02:40

‘Tony’ is a Siamese fighting fish’ - probably the spikiest one moving in !

icanhandthemback Sun 19-Aug-18 18:41:13

My DD and her family have just moved out after a 6 month stay which was supposed to be less than 3 weeks. I didn't find most things too bad but my husband just looked for trouble! We went away for a week's holiday just so I could relax with him before the long haul to the end. I have to admit that when they moved out, it was a blessed relief. I think we'd forgotten how much attention small children need (and this one was home schooled too) and how much noise other people in the house can make. You could guarantee the moment we sat done to watch our favourite show, they came in and talked all the way through it.
That said, my DD left home in high dudgeon vowing never to return so I was really pleased that we managed to get through 6 months without a single row. It took some biting of the tongue some times but I just had to accept that she is an adult and her ways are not mine. I expect she bit her tongue at times too. grin
We made some minor rules which would have been the lid off the toothpaste type niggles for DH but apart from that, we just got on with it.

Nandalot Sun 19-Aug-18 18:54:59

It’ll be fine as long as you can try and relax about it. We had DD and small twins with us for a year when house was being made ready and we frequently have them over for long periods as DD juggles away stays with work. They have just moved back after one of these and it seems so empty.
The only drawback is it can curtail your social life as it is a bit difficult inviting friends over for a meal or drink in the evening. ( DD would happily stay upstairs with DGC but I would feel awkward about that).

sparkynan Sun 19-Aug-18 18:58:23

Maybe buy a camping loo or basket chair commode to keep in your bedroom, for those times when your bursting to go and someone else is in the shower!!!!

fionajk42 Sun 19-Aug-18 19:42:55

My DD & SIL moved in with us for 9 months during her maternity leave. We put all their furniture & out-of season clothes in storage - making sure we labelled all boxes carefully so they could find things if they suddenly needed an item from storage. We agreed beforehand who would do various chores and when / how often. We put them in the largest bedroom with a small sofa and TV so they could watch their choice of programmes (although they were welcome to watch TV with us as well.)
It worked really well apart from one of their cats getting out of the house and getting run over. DD had really wanted cats to stay with her at our house and had persuaded me to have them in our house. I felt really bad & wished I had made her put cats in boarding. DD would have been slightly annoyed, but at least she would not have been as upset as she was by death of cat.

Kazza1 Sun 19-Aug-18 20:39:30

Go on a long holiday

4allweknow Sun 19-Aug-18 21:50:55

You will be fine. Contain any mess in one place. Organise a Rota for bathroom if you all have to be out at the same time. Discuss what is going to be needed for meals, shopping, household chores. Sure your family will appreciate being able to bunk with you and will try to be as unintrusive as possible.

Shizam Sun 19-Aug-18 22:30:37

Think the biggest problem with sharing is getting into the bathroom. I have only one. So perhaps a schedule. Other than that. I’m happy to cook or stick laundry in washer. And share chores with others. I love having the young uns back! They make me laugh. Always a good thing.

willa45 Mon 20-Aug-18 00:06:18

My only concern would be that there's only one bathroom for so many people. That could be a challenge and a source of conflict to be avoided.

It may be a good idea to establish some ground rules re: sharing the bathroom. Perhaps you could work out a (mutually agreed upon) schedule/time limit for bathtimes/showers.

As long as each family member pulls their own weight and helps with the chores, you should be fine. It can be a positive experience for everyone involved.

pooohbear2811 Mon 20-Aug-18 19:00:38

I remember just over 10 years ago when my eldest came to stay for a 2 week holiday with DGD who was 4 and DGS who was 14 months. Sadly for her her other half phoned her up and told her he did not want her back so 2 weeks became over 9 months.
She was not use to being cooped up every day as she had worked down south, we lived rural over 2 miles from nearest bus stop and she did not drive.
She was and still is a very very messy creature and hubby can be obsessive ocd at times. Hubby also worked night shift and it was difficult for everybody.
The one major rule we implemented was only one adult would discipline either of the children, the adult who saw them doing the misdemeaner, so that they did not feel they would be told off over and again for the same misdoing. That worked well for us and the grandchildren. I did find it difficult a few times not to interfere but rules was rules.
Hubby and I ended up arguing more than normal as we did not want to moan at daughter as she had no choice but to stay with us.
But alls well and those grandchildren are now 15 and 12 and we still see them 2 or 3 times a week, along with their 3 younger siblings. Lets hope 5 of them never need to move in!!!!

Bluegal Mon 20-Aug-18 19:44:57

And...breathe....*Nanna58 *.... I've had this too. I just accepted my house would not be the same for however long it took for them to move out again!

Don't think enforcing 'rules' about bath times etc work. What I found was my daughter kind of reverted to being the child! I said "Oi, I am not your servant" lol ....

Can't say it is easy because once adult kids have left they live their lives the way THEY want them and not necessarily how they have been brought up in your house.

All I can say is; it can be messy, can be annoying; but you know when they go again, you kind of miss them x

MaudLillian Sun 02-Sept-18 09:19:56

If it were me, I'd chill out and just love the fact that my grandchild was living we me for a while. Enjoy! Life is way too short.