Husband wants to use viagra

My husband takes Cialis, because he has been diabetic most of his life (type 1) and as he got older it became more difficult to maintain an erection. Before he realised there was a problem, I thought he no longer interested in me.

It was upsetting for him, and he is very happy now.

He went to see our GP for advice first, who prescribes it on a regular basis.

Don't be upset about it, and be aware this is a very personal thing for him to talk about - even to you.

Accept that he feels the need to take a medical aid, and is also still keen to maintain a sexual relationship with you.

Some men wouldn't bother about their wives' feelings, wants or needs and just give up.

In this day and age there is sex wherever you look - newspaper articles, tv etc it is easy for anyone, let alone a newly retired man, to feel he is missing out. He was open with you about it, and his motive might be to give you more pleasure as much as himself - perhaps he doesn’t want to let you down. What is there not to like and appreciate in that? Are you afraid he will be demanding sex 24/7?

As I understand it, it has to be taken about an hour before? So presumably he will only take it when he is expecting sex to happen - this is why it is important for you to be able to communicate about it - he will not want to have to go and sort himself out if you turn your back on him. I think you need to lighten up and treat it as a joint experiment.

At the same time, can you take the time to go for walks or some other physical activity with him? Maybe join a walking group. Once he is established in it and made some friends, you could gradually drop out if you want to. Alternatively, could he take a turn at looking after grandchildren? . Sixty three is young to retire, he may find it difficult to find other men his own age. Could he volunteer for something?

Grannythree. Would you consider taking half a tablet yourself? You might be surprised!

No need to pay silly money on the internet. Viagra's patent has no expired and it's cheap Ask your GP for a prescription.
He feels he'd like to be stiffer for longer. It's no reflection on your desirability or technique.

All I would say about your OH using viagra would be to purchase it from a pharmacy rather than on line as a lot of the sorces are very questionable and some are not genuine.
He should have a check up from his Dr. before using the tablets for his own peace of mind.

I would be more concerned about the health implications of taking a drug without his GP giving him the once-over.
Viagra is another name for Sildenafil which is use to treat Pulmonary hypertension.

How easy was talking about emotional issues, sex included, with your husband before this happened? I get the feeling he belongs to the majority that finds it very hard indeed!

It sounds to me as if the poor man either thinks he has difficulties with his erections or is afraid he can't keep up with you and not that he is dissatisfied with you.

Now is probably not the right moment to try and discuss the matter with him, as you both seem to have got off on the wrong foot.

Let him try Viagra, but do go out and buy yourself some nice new underwear (to suit his tastes rather than yours, if the two aren't the same) or a pair of high heeled shoes from the nearest charity shop - whatever you know will probably make Viagra quite unnecessary.

I would take a bath, slip on the new undies and heels and then parade in front of my DH on the way to the bedroom - it usually works a treat!

My feeling is that he just needs reassurance & extra love at this tricky transitional stage. I think this is why he confessed to you. I think if you accept the situation positively, he will open up and discuss it & then you can suggest buying at Boots or going to get a prescription. Good luck

Boots sell viagra now over the counter,i hope you can resolves this problem, men do find it difficult sometimes talking about sex if things dont feel right,

I hope he used a reputable company. I would be very wary of any medicines of any type bought online.....

Please be careful when considering Viagra. It can cause heart problems. I know of a friend’s husband who recently needed up in hospital due to taking it!

My ex partner would take a little blue pill (or even just half) because he said he didn’t want to “let me down”. I know he used to worry about “keeping up with me” and it was all about his self confidence. Please make sure your hubby has a proper health check before taking V, either with his GP or a pharmacist - just be on the safe side. I would be worried about buying any sort of medication over the internet. These days, a man over a certain age can get V from the doctor free (that rhymes!!). Good luck - and make the most of it ?

Would you be more hurt if he just turned away from you and no longer wanted to have sex.?

Perhaps you could move to the spare room to avoid this? A friend of mine always gets up early to walk the dog as her hubby is over friendly first thing!

I was shocked when my husband said the same however I knew he had a problem he has diabetes and couldn't maintain an erection he was devastated. We always had a loving relationship he took himself off to the doctors and the doctor said it was part of the diabetes symptom. All well now.

There is absolutely no need for you to feel hurt - My husband has been taking Cialis for several years (he's 53) because he noticed he was having problems achieving a firm erection. We went to the Dr and he explained that as men get older, it is more difficult to achieve a firm erection due to narrowing of the arteries and that Cialis and Viagra open the arteries. This is no reflection on us as women and you should be happy that your husband has been honest with you and told you. I should imagine that your reaction has caused him to go 'back into his shell' and I think you need to do some research online and then sit him down and tell him you understand why he might feel the need to use viagra and also tell him that it's fine and it doesn't bother you.

I am wondering if instead of being shocked, offended and taking it personally, you could have talked together about why he actually wants to use it. As others have said, he may be feeling insecure. This could be a good opportunity to have a proper discussion about your sex life.

Levitra is better.

It gives you both 36 hours to be more spontaneous.

I agree with other posters. It’s not about your sex life being unsatisfactory - it sounds more like his own issues regarding his body. I would add that if he is having trouble maintaining an erection or any problems using the toilet he should have a prostate check. I speak from experience.

Him buying Viagra is much more about him than you. But I understand your feelings its all a bit difficult to think about if you are not used to it.
He should consider his health however. Viagra is not for everyone (personal experience) and there are other 'varieties' that a Doctor can help with. Perhaps its easier for you to talk about it as if its just a medicine.....then you would both look at the, pardon the pun, ups and downs of said medication. Doctors are very blasé about such matters my previous GP was beginning to specialise in what she considered over 60s sex and was, forgive the pun again, always banging on about it.
Please do not see this as a criticism, he might have thought of it more as a compliment to you - he felt he needed a little assistance to, and once again a pun, keep up with you. And yes its a subject I do feel needs a little humour when its all a bit too personal and strange! Good luck but do make sure he's being health conscious.

Granny I think you are instantly jumping to the wrong conclusion that he’s not satisfied with YOUR love making when it’s exactly the opposite he s obviously worry he’s not good enough for you
Look he’s obviously embarrassed about it hence the internet and now you ve read him all wrong and probably making him unsure how to reassure you without putting his foot in it even further
Just cos you haven’t noticed a difference, he obviously has and is doing what he can to preserve himself and your sexlife you should be thanking the man for being thoughtful and wanting to continue with an active sex life
Please give him a break, he’s not having an affair

Grannythree it is a bit of a shock when its first mentioned but as Stella1949 says don't worry about it, its no reflection on you, he just wants to carry on enjoying himself a bit longer make the most of it!

The one thing that concerns me is if he's using it without having had a complete checkup. Erectile dysfunction can sometimes stem from problems such as atherosclerosis and diabetes. He should be evaluated for these if he's having trouble maintaining an erection. I'm not opposed to Viagra or similar medications on principle; they can work very well. I just would hate to see a man have a problem that goes undiagnosed because he didn't see his provider before something serious happened.

Stella1949 well said! It really is no big deal at all, you can't expect a man to perform as if he was still 30 years old.If it helps him in any way, physically or just confidence then he should go for it.No reason to feel upset.

Perhaps he is having physical difficulties. I don't think you should be offended, angry or upset. Women's bodies change so why shouldn't men's bodies alter too?

I hope everything goes well for you both.