Husband wants to use viagra

Oh no not another old thread. I really must remember to look at the date before I start reading and posting.

Viagra may not make you James Bond - but it will make you Roger Moore...

Saves the " headache " excuse I would have thought ?

Well, I was pleased to see it. I am 70, DH 72, and we no longer make love very often. The last effort, a week or two ago, ended in failure; I have bought some lubricants from Yes and am waiting to see if GP will prescribe HRT. But we haven't trued again. Discussion is v difficult. We were both widowed approx 10 years ago, and celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary this year. We had a regular and satisfying sex life until a couple of years ago - it has slowed down to v infrequent since. I was interested to see references on here to Cialis and Levitra as well as Viagra - I shall Google them. Advice and information will be read with interest.

We ve just jumped nearly a year why re-erect this thread (see what I did there) ???

There may be a number of reasons as to why your boyfriend feels the need to take erectile dysfunction medication – getting to the root is key. Relationships thrive on communication and that includes speaking to our partners openly about our sex lives.

Erectile dysfunction is the inability to develop and/or maintain penile erection during sexual performance. It certainly affects a percentage of the male population. Psychological impotence (complication with erection due to stress or performance anxiety, rather than physical impossibility) is the most common contributor to erectile difficulties. The issue often gets resolved when a man's anxiety dissipates.

Most men will experience this at some point in their life, especially when they are highly stressed or are in the early stages of a relationship. But the difficulties are often short-lived and do not create continuing problems in a relationship. In these circumstances, pharmaceutical intervention is not necessarily successful and I would not recommend it.

Erectile dysfunction caused by physiological or medical reasons – such as a health condition or side effect from other medications – is less common. In this scenario, age is a primary contributor. The National Institutes of Health estimate that about 5 per cent of 40-year-old men will experience erectile dysfunction on an ongoing basis, whereas the number rises to 15 to 25 per cent among 65-year-olds.

Your partner does not have a medical reason for taking this medication as you have alluded, which means he's part of a growing number of men who use erectile dysfunction medication in a recreational manner.

There could be a number of contributing factors for this. Your partner may be curious about the extent to which his performance will be enhanced; he may be experiencing peer pressure; or if he has had too much to drink, he may take the medication to combat the negative impacts of alcohol on performance.

I have two main concerns with recreational usage. For one, erectile medications have side effects. They place stress on the major organs – in particular the heart, liver and kidneys – and the long-term effects are unknown. Second, there is some emerging evidence that men may experience adverse impacts on their sexual function and become psychologically reliant on the medications.

Start by explaining these concerns to your boyfriend – especially the latter as it may serve to be the strongest deterrent. Then try and understand where your boyfriend is coming from. Perhaps he has some insecurities about his performance that he's been reticent to share.

Having an open conversation about your perceptions and feelings surrounding your sex life may serve to ease his mind. Tell him how great you feel about your sex life and suggest ways to add spontaneity and excitement to your intimate relationship without the use of medications.

grannythree how hard it must have been for your DH to tell you he’s ordered viagra. If he wanted for use with others he wouldn’t have told you. He would have kept it secret. He needs your support. If you are happy with your sex life perhaps he wants to keep you happy and is worried that things might not be as easy for him as it used to be. Why not suggest that he takes a pill (although I would agree buying from a chemist would be better) and then discuss after if either of you noticed a difference. He wants you at home. He wants to be with you. I agree about buying some lubricant to make sure you don’t get sore but there are many many women on GN whose partners use this type of product for various reasons. Most of them will need an understanding partner to not make them feel bad about it. Men with diabetes, prostate problems etc can all need some help. Instead of putting him through the third degree or worrying about him having affairs, why not just suggest you try it together and see how you get on. Be with him in this change and show him you are willing to discuss it in a more positive way.

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My husband was told by our doctor where to order it online. He can't get it on prescription. He was having difficulty with sustaining erection. My first thought when he told me he had bought it was Oh no! I'm perfectly happy with things as they are lol. Nowadays I'm fine with cuddles. (67 with CFS and fibromyalgia).

Don't worry about the little blue pill! My husband is 65 I am 64, things were a little difficult at times and he would get stressed a visit to the doctors sorted the problem! He takes 1/4 of the prescribed dose no more! He did buy a bottle of a 100 whilst in Egypt but I think they were tiny chalk tablets! They do help to have a "good time" . I would suggest instead of ordering "on-line" he gets a prescription or now they are available to buy over the counter. My advise to you is let him try it, you never know, he might be walking around for hours as "proud as a peacock"! At least he has discussed it with you. Happy Times

My husband, who died some years ago, was impotent for a number of years prior to his death. I initially thought he had lost interest but our biggest problem was we both found it too embarrassing to discuss.
I am in a new relationship, and one of the best things is that he has encouraged me to talk freely about everything.

The best advice I could give anyone is to talk, talk, talk.

I would worry about buying it online, as for the source. Also for him taking it without a check on his health. As others have said. But good on him for being honest with you. That is hard, especially for a man talking about his sexuality. At least he still wants to do it with you! Lucky you!

Criky!

I cannot believe how we can be so gender ignorant, our male partners are well known for feeeling insecure when it comes to personal performances and discussing his sexual life. Erectional dysfunction far to often leads to severe depression and lose of esteem. It is a medical condition and help is needed. If Sildenfil or Vigra,as it it is know helps to continue to provide a loving relationship then you should be proud of him for seeking ways to provide same. Give him s few hugs and persuade him to talk to your doctor who will be pleased to provide further help.

I would be interested in knowing what he is doing in this spare time. Do you know for sure that he isn’t seeing someone else— or thinking about it.

Good post muffinthemoo.
And that's why many of us need Vagifem.

I’m sorry if this post offends, but the health stuff I wanted to mention has already been discussed except in one respect.

A commonly reported side effect of Viagra is difficulty in achieving ejaculation, plus a need for more powerful stimulation.

The partners of older men using it often report that as a result, sex can last much longer, be rougher, and they dry out and become painful.

This isn’t exactly a positive thing. As women age, their vaginal tissues dry out and become more fragile, making them easier to injure.

I have had the exact sort of injury on an ongoing basis before and it’s quite awful. It will also drive you to avoid sex as much as possible which will simply make matters with husband worse.

I would strongly suggest, as a result, that you start looking at some of the better known intimacy stores online and pick up a good quality lubricant for yourself.

I’m sorry if this seems overly forward, but pain during sex is a common problem for women and most sufferers are extremely reluctant to disclose it.

The online stores (lovehoney, etc) have a wide selection with reviews to help you choose, and they use entirely discreet packaging. No one will know about your helpful product except perhaps your husband if you choose to tell him at the time.

Please don’t get hurt trying to meet your husband’s wishes. That will only make things worse. A little bit of help will not go amiss.

I'm wondering if perhaps you've gone off sex a bit and that's why you reacted the way you did. However, if that's not the case, could you perhaps start a conversation by saying that you've given it some more thought, and are sorry for reacting the way you did. Then suggest that you're happy to give it a try, but maybe get himself checked out by the GP first to ensure that it won't do any harm etc.

Once he's done that, if things are still difficult in the conversation department, next time you feel a bit sexy why not whisper in his ear, 'darling why don't you go and pop one of those little blue pills'? That way it will bring the subject up ('scuse the pun), get you both going, and then afterward, perhaps you can discuss how well it worked for both of you, but of course most importantly him.

Hope you can sort it out for both your sakes.

Thank you Eglantine that’s what I supposed but I didn’t think it would be good for you. I suppose I’d better check it won’t affect my other medicines etc.

You are making a fuss for nothing.

Gabriella so true!!!

Umm, Luckylegs, it has the same effect on the female equivalent of the penis, the clitorus, in increasing blood supply.

What you then do with that is up to you!!

I certainly wouldn't feel the need to parade like a playboy ho in VS lingerie and heels in order to 'satisfy' my OHs waning sex drive.
I ask you, do men diet, attend to their skin and personal hygiene, take great care over their choice of clothes, spend hours (and moolah) at the hairdressers, and having manicures, as much as women do? Do women ask their men to undergo a hollywood, brazillian and/or other waxing?
Do women linger at men's underwear racks fingering the goods and fantasising 'Will he look good in these?'
It's all pandering to men's 'needs' or so they would have us believe, whilst the majority of over 50s do Jack S*

Most of my friends in my age group (65) have husbands/partners that have been taking Viagara for some time. I have just persuaded my husband to do the same. A lot of men find it difficult to talk about. I’m sure he was just too embarrassed to tell you.

Viagra only works if there is stimulation and by that, I mean some kind of foreplay which he recognises as the precurser to the act, not just a kiss as he passes you in the kitchen.
If you are not a willing partner and don't give those signals then (as they say in America) he won't get wood.
One of the 'downsides' for some women is the fact that Viagra helps maintain an erection for far longer, which ultimately may make the woman sore and wish it was over with.

Eglantine21 do you know for certain that it’s possible for a woman to take half a tablet? My husband has some Viagra but it gives him a migraine so they aren’t used and I could definitely do with something to give me some sexual interest!