Mothers

Kitty I think we can really overthink things and I am sure there are many people who like you. You come over as someone nice who people would like anyway. I think that perhaps there could be more of a problem if your thoughts were the other way around!
I never cease to be surprised at all the deep stuff we all have, buried deep within, that can sneak up and bite us at unexpected moments. I hope that your private little cry washed away those doubts you had tucked away.

kittylester and KatyK - I do know where you are coming from. No-one was cruel to me as a child (although I know that my sister endured some ill treatment after I left home) but no-one ever gave affection either, and this can be so destructive. I have lots of friends and I know that some of my talents which I share with those around me, running choirs and introducing people to the joy of singing, are hugely appreciated and that many people look up to me and tell me often how they like me and are grateful for the things I do - but underneath I always feel as if I am on the outside looking in, if you know what I mean. I find their appreciation hard to believe in my heart.

I am always questioning myself as to whether I am doing/saying the right things - it is not lack of self-confidence as I am aware of my talents and weaknesses and embrace them with no problem - it is a deep uncertainty that is borne of lack of love in my childhood. No-one can replace that.

I can only hope that I got it right for my dear children - we can only do our best.

Good post Lucky. That's it completely!

Luckygirl - you have summed it up in a nutshell! The lack of love in childhood impacts on adult life. Only through counselling and by reading have I discovered just how my mother's treatment has affected my whole emotional well being. I have copied and pasted a review of Daughter Detox.

From a review on Amazon "Sometimes we don't even know this is happening to us until much later in our lives. What appears to be normal in our own family setting is really making us sick. I love how Peg Streep discusses in great detail the layers of abuse that takes place in a family with an unloving mother. She guides us through the process of seeing our lives for the first time away from the abuse that has taken place. We have known it all along, but our lives are finally validated through this incredible book. She gives the reader the tools to make the necessary steps to live a life that is no longer tethered to this emotional mine field. I am so glad I found this book, I couldn't put it down."

Be assured, I didn't write this book and have no vested interest in it apart from the help it has given me to understand my childhood and 'repair' the damage it did which is why I recommend it to others who had unloving mothers.

I'm always surprised too when people seem to like me.

I do have great difficulty in telling people when I think they have behaved badly or hurt me in some way. Tend to not pick up phone and avoid them instead of saying anything. I feel my behaviour is childish but I just don't dare to have things out with people.