How to find friendship

I know exactly what you mean "friends" are very difficult to come by and most of mine go back to school or college days. I also have a large extended family that mostly live closeby although we get on well enough and respect all the family sensitivities, they are relatives not "friends".

Acquaintances, that's different, people you meet regularly at the activities you go to, you chat, have a coffee but there is no real connection, they have their existing lives and an outsider finds it difficult to become close. Cliques at clubs or even work are difficult to break into, as a newcomer you just have to start your own group with other newcomers, it needs a proactive approach and of course an open mind because others don't have the same likes and dislikes as you.
I do have one good friend that I made maybe 15 years ago we are quite different, we disagree on politics, she is hard right, I'm soft left and have quite animated discussions but a good friend she remains.
Tip, avoid groups of 3 there is always a gooseberry and it might be you!.

My sister is a good example of no friends, she married (badly) and moved to Australia had a 2 nasty divorces, she now lives with a guy and has a part time job with meals on wheels. She has no friends at all that I can see, no relatives, her children dont speak to her, it's just the people she works with. A miserable life.

How about joining a Book Group?

I agree its difficult and I hate cliques.
I joined U3A but they are cliquey. People should more considerate and welcoming.
Classes are good for chats including groups in local library.
I find my art groups ( I'm a learner still after 3 years) are the best place to make friends. We often have cuppas and lunch together. But even so, making proper close friends who will come to your home and chat over coffee in the kitchen? Haven't managed it yet.
I think many people have a lot of commitments already in their lives.

I have no idea. I have tried clubs...scrabble, badminton, support groups etc. and U3A for a few years and not made any friends despite me being friendly and people welcoming me into the groups. It's been civil and friendly, until time to go home when they disperse in their couples/groups.
Everyone seemed to know everyone and be in their cliques, fully content with the people and family already in their lives...and have friends they grew up with or worked with for years a lot of the time.
The friend I have had for years I met on an internet chat room and she moved to be in the same town 16 years ago so we can support each other.

Agree with Bluebelle......join a group, by all means, but don't expect lasting friendships. I belong to a Seniors group. Most of them join because they have friends in the group. They then form cliques. I have been in this group for 5 years. They are all lovely people and will pass the time of day with you, but that's as far as it goes. I have not made one "friend". But it's nice to go and have a general chit chat. Oh yes, we talk about our families etc and for those few hours each week, it's great ! Fortunately, I have a few friends outside of this group.
Mauren, what about your neighbours ? Can you not ask a few of them over for coffee?
All the best !!!

Judyjudy just a word of warning not all groups are like that I joined a craft group and stayed for quite some months but it was very cliquey lots of injokes and changing of chairs to be next to friends and after about four or five months even though they had been put out to have us sitting near different people I just left Don’t have too high expectations

Never heard of U3A but now know there is one in my area that looks interesting.

Maurenmargret, I have found the only way to make new friends is to join something. Even if you do not have a great interest in the subject, craft groups are good as they are often just a group that get together for a natter and coffee as are some book groups. Volunteering in a residential home to chat to people that do not get visitors is another good one. Are you on Facebook? look for meetup in your area or start your own.

Join U3A. You may not make friends at first, but you will meet people and have interesting things to do.