Nasty friends of friends

I bet someone else who was there will have had a word with him. I expect there was a slightly awkward silence after he said that. He might be bitterly regretting what he'd said. Most likely he'd forgotten that this occasion wasn't a workplace banter situation.
Forget it. Rise above it! His friends will now be thinking less of him. His loss.

I don't really think you can claim the moral high ground here, having been quite ok with calling someone else ugly. Whether they are present to hear it or not, it's still a nasty thing to say about anyone. Who has control over their facial features and how they are arranged (apart from those who indulge in cosmetic surgery)

He gave you a taste of your own medicine, and you are finding how bitter it tastes.

Maybe reconsider the language that you use against others? As my mother used to say - if you've nothing good to say about someone, say nothing at all.

What a horror ! Probably seen as a pillar of the community because of his past career while nobody has the guts to tell him otherwise. People like this make me sick.

Oh come off if HurdyGurdy the actor wasn’t in the room, it wasn’t said to him face to face . He will never be hurt because he will never know it was even said .

As my mother used to say - if you've nothing good to say about someone, say nothing at all

Yes my gran said that too, right before she went on to call some woman or other, up the street . Of course she didn’t even realise she was doing it .

My response to this is actually on the thread above.

Making a comment like that to a fellow guest, a woman on her own with all the other guests in couples is no accident or just a piece of plain old rudeness. Like all bullies that man is a nasty piece of work who deliberately targets those more vulnerable than himself. Your hostess and the other guests were undoubtedly embarrassed and tried to smooth things over and probably don't want to acknowledge the sort of man he really is.

There isn't anything you can do about the incident but be very wary of that man. As you move in the same social circles of a small town do try to avoid entering into conversation with him and never let him into your house or be alone with him. He has revealed himself as a despicable person and is the only ugly one. Knowing what you now know about him gives you strength to deal with him in the future. Chin up, shoulders back, deep breaths. Please look after yourself. ??

Just due to rudeness and ignorance.
If you should meet him again be absolutely charming (you, after all, know how to behave) but this time you will be prepared for possible rude remarks; give as good as you get if he should speak like that again.
People get away with rudeness initially because it shocks the recipient. I wonder what his wife thought.

Jaxie
A little off topic I know, but it's not Basil Rathbone (the best Holmes ever!) in The Winslow Boy, but Robert Donat!
Jeremy Northam, who takes his role in the 1999 remake is not what I'd call ugly, but compared to Donat, not many men would come out well!
However, the friend of a friend should have been taken to task immediately for his rudeness, it was uncalled for.

Jaxie
Or did you mean Basil Radford?
His role (Desmond Curry) is played by Colin Stinton in the newer version.
I'm a big fan of films from the thirties/forties

eazybee, that's a more positive piece of sage wisdom there in your post. I like it better.
Yeah, in hindsight, it's more difficult around a friend group.

Well for what it's worth, I think you were right first time, alex. I wouldn't be absolutely charming to this man the next time I came across him. That smacks of condoning his behaviour, imho. Bullies need to be called out, or at least, as you said earlier, treated with the contempt they deserve.

I have a rather formidable resting bitch face myself.

Maggiemaybe.

Jaxie I know someone like this, who is in our circle of friends. It's easy for others to say 'let it go over the top of your head' but it is extremely upsetting even if you retaliate. I decided the best thing to do was to avoid this person, but that is impossible unless we extract ourselves from the group altogether.

Maggiemaybe are you free when we next go out with them please, even if just to restrain me?

If you think it likely you will be in a social gathering with this "man" then have a good reply ready just in case. I have found that if someone says something unpleasant I can turn the tables by saying "I might have been upset IF I valued your opinion".

Colin Stinton, the actor who played Desmond Curry in the 1999 remake of the Winslow Boy, is certainly not ugly. I suspect the response of the fellow guest was about the OP’s derogatory comment and not her personal appearance.

"I might have been upset IF I valued your opinion".
I'll remember that one Oldwoman

However, retaliating upsets me too and so often a ruins an otherwise nice social gathering. Practising yoga breathing …..

I hope you can avoid him in future Jaxie.

I suspect the response of the fellow guest was about the OP’s derogatory comment and not her personal appearance.
It was just nasty MeltingM

A reasonable response would have been to say 'Oh, no, I don't really agree there, I don't think he's ugly'.

I'm pretty sure I would have said, well thanks a lot, as I have done on a couple of occasions. He sounds either drunk or immature and full of his own importance but that may be letting him off, you will have a better idea of his personality. What a cheek, I am sure it was noted by some of the other guest.

I am guessing that others pretended not to have overheard his remark so as not to get involved and cause any embarrassment. If you had said anything to him, he would probably have back pedalled and said " it's only banter" or "just joking" to try and make himself look in a better light.
I would not even acknowledge him if I saw him about town again and look straight through him if he tried to make conversation and keep on walking.
On the other hand you might feel inclined to give him a piece of your mind and tell him in no uncertain terms were to go.
I would not want to socialise at any gathering where this dreadful man is attending, so be a bit picky which invitations you accept. Perhaps you might be allowed to take a "plus one " with you to some of your social events maybe just a friend or workmate if it would help to make you feel more comfortable. With his arrogance he probably won't get invited to as many social events as he might wish. x

Next time you see him tell him Halloween's over !

Jaxie, is it possible that the other guest is a friend or relation of the actor you described as ugly? His response was unkind, true, but perhaps just a reflex reaction to your casual dissing of someone you don't actually know.

I'm afraid I would have found it hard not to just stand up and leave, without saying a word. Let them all feel uncomfortable - the ill-mannered pig for saying that to you, and the others for pretending they didn't hear instead of supporting you.

I would not want to socialise at any gathering where this dreadful man is attending, so be a bit picky which invitations you accept.
I don't find that so easy - the person I know has his fingers in many pies locally as well as being one in a group of friends, so to avoid him socially is very difficult.

Had I thought in time, I would have said 'How very rude' and given him my gorgon stare.

But of course, one never does think in time, but he would have got the stare.

Jaxie you are a greater person than he is. You may be upset, and can show and say so to friends (like us), but when you go about your life in your town, hold your head up high and do not let the pain show. If you meet this unpleasant individual, look straight through him, if he speaks, act is if he isn't there and walk on. If he accosts you and asks why you are cutting him, simply say, 'you know' and walk in.

Generally treat him with the disdain you would treat someone who let their dog sh*t on the pavement and left it there, He is excrement under your feet.