Nasty friends of friends

I don't think anyone should be calling another person ugly whether they are present or not. We don't choose our features. Some people imo have more interesting faces than others just as some have more interesting characters.....

I am sorry to read of the bullying you have suffered Jaxie, I know how it feels( early school years were particularly bad)
I may have been totally wrong,my take on your OP was that he interpreted what you said as judging people on their appearance & Ugly is an ugly word.
We cannot see beyond the written word on these sites, so apologies if I misinterpreted the situation you were in

Great post, Elaine155, insightful and compassionate.

My opinion, the OP was in a social setting as a solo with three couples. Would the git (my opinion) have made that comment if the OP had a big burly bloke with her? Probably not. He's a coward who bloody got away with his snotty little comment.

Thank the heavens, OP, that you don't have to live with him. I really hope I'd be able to say something if I saw him again, a simple touch on his arm and a gentle "you hurt my feelings, you know, when you called me ugly". Practice it at home, just those words so you are prepared. His response doesn't matter, it's about you "marking his card". Don't try to avoid him, don't cut off the friends, you did nothing wrong.

Calling an actor ugly, it does not signify. The response is the issue.

@ElaineR155. Good points in your post^^.
My old boss used to say, "you'd think they'd make up in personality what they lack in looks". This always uttered sotto voce after observing something ugly in character being displayed towards another.

Jalima your suggested response would have been much better than what he actually said. He could have made his point much better.

Perhaps we should all learn never to describe anyone as ugly in their hearing or not. Then this will be a positive coming from this unfortunate incident.

Well, the way i see it, you only have two options here:

Option 1, get over it - he only said one thing, and anyway, you said the same about that actor.

Option 2, next time you see him, punch him in the throat.

I hope this helps.

XXXBestGranXXX

People like like get away with being astoundingly rude because no one will challenge them for being rude.

I would make sure you never show how much it has hurt you, neither complain or explain is my motto.

Chin up.

Ok so you think it's ok to call someone ugly but get upset when someone says it to you. That seems a bit two faced to me. Someone said "a gentleman wouldn't say that to a lady" Well no one should be judging others looks or anything else actually.

I am surprised this thread has run for so long.
Ihas occurred to me that the poster was rather confused about the film; Basil Rathbone was not in it, it starred Robert Donat; his replacement was Jeremy Northam, who by no stretch of the imagination could be called ugly.
Perhaps the man , when he said' ugly like you' meant it as a compliment: as ugly as you, because you are not ugly????
Convoluted, I know.
Just a thought.

Thanks to all who have anonymously reported me for my comments on this thread to GNs.

I agree that an instant retort would have helped your self esteem no end, but the shock of the moment often leaves us dumbstruck. I don’t agree with the ‘forget it and move on’ comments because the hurt continues to fester. Personally I wouldn’t be able to rise above it or forget it until I had paid him back. I would try to see him again and have in my head an armoury of snippy comments all ready for him.

Bridgeit, just to say that even though I challenged what you said on here, I didn’t report you. I don’t do that.

And for what it’s worth, I thought your post to Jaxie at 12:18 was admirable.

Thankyou Maggiemaybe, much appreciated.

Elaine, a lovely and compassionate post.

Bridgeit and Jamie, I was never bullied at school, but as an ex teacher, I’m saddened that it happened to both of you. Of course, bullying in the past was often tolerated, thankfully now it isn’t, or at least never should be.

I didn’t report you Bridgeit, I have only on one occasion reported one poster, who was imho out of order. Reporting people isn’t really helpful, we need robust discussion on Gransnet.

Me neither, I said what I thought on here!

@Bridgeit. Reported! What for? For expressing an opinion on an open forum.
It's good to amass all points on an opinion spectrum. Healthy debate 'n all that.
For what it's worth, I never reported you either. I've never reported anyone. Not even
on Mumsnet. And I've had a few noteworthy responses to my opinions.

Thanks Jalima,Maddyone & Alex, much appreciated

I can't think why you were reported. I think some people were angry that you didn't share their views. But as long as we try to make our point in a civilised manner we should be allowed to. We have to be able to discuss and debate. GN has helped ne to do this better with friends and others. It's good to listen to others and sometimes see things from another perspective.

All?Why,have many people reported you then,Bridgeit?

The message from GN, said that they had received a number of reports regarding my comments/ post

I would go as far as to say its quite ugly to report someone to admin.
I can't see where anyone here has overstepped the mark.
Just differing opinions!

Blimey hold the news....silly old duffer kicks off at dinner party after too many brandys and calls nice lady ugly.

Is that it?

Babybelle, the message from GN says they have received a number of reports about my comments.