Is hubby cheating

Vix51 Perhaps if you dye your hair black there would be no need for further suspicions.
A very sad first post.

If you really want to know, book a day or two off work but don’t tell him. Go out as normal but park your car where you spot any visitors to your house. Or turn up unexpectedly for some reason - pretend you weren’t feeling well so finished work early.
Other option is to surprise him by saying you are going to join him on his walk/ shoot. Preferably ensure he hasn’t got his phone with him, or keep a close eye on it. Best if he “loses” it before you go and you “find” it when back afterwards. Then if it is a cover for a secret tryst you’ve got more chance of finding out. Does he hide his phone? Has he got a code on it or are you allowed to use it?
Of course you must think what you will do if your suspicions are confirmed.

The hairs might be wood fibres or from wherever the wood was sourced.
Two options.
1) Say nothing unless you want an unpleasant atmosphere and/or separation.
2) Have it out with him in a calm and collected manner, not all guns blazing.
Many men watch porn but it doesn't signify that they're having affairs. It's just what some people of both sexes do.
Could you suggest one night a week and a little blue 'aid'?
If you go about it in a non-accusatory way, he might see it as an opportunity to fulfil his waning desires, rather than watching other people do it.
I hope it works out for you.

he begged my forgiveness and promised me he wouldn’t do it again

If you have no sex life and sleep in separate rooms, why should he have to "beg for forgiveness" when he resorts to watching some porn ? Most men would do that if they had no other sexual activity happening at home.

You say you were relieved to sleep in separate beds - maybe the same doesn't apply to him. He might have chosen to sleep separately for other reasons , ie he might need to masturbate since he has no other sex outlet. I'd suggest that if you don't want him using porn, and you're happy to sleep separately, you are asking for trouble.

Is there someone you both no who has black hair, Make something up like there was a woman at the door she had black hair and when I answered she was sorry but she was looking for someone , if he asks questions about who ,Make up a story of you own

I would save the hairs as already suggested and bide my time. Keep things as normal as possible, then you need to go homesick from work giving him no prior warning but this would have to be on a day that you know he's going to be home. If he is up to mischief it's possible you may catch him. If he's atome alone, still maintain you feel unwell and let him pamper you, on the other hand if our catch him in the act..............well you will at least know where you stand!

No my furry friend,I will not be straying from my flock.

Baaaaaaa humbug
OldBatty; Ewe're sounding like an old sheep! Are you still worrying about sheep and men? We might have to resort to p.m. How about it?

Baaaaaaa humbug

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one.
Namsnanny: It's over a week now since you pleaded, but no takers! Still no idea what your tastes are, eclectic or otherwise, but another thread has just started up, albeit with some lame jokes (at the Christmas cracker level): but each to their own! Thank goodness this thread has now died a death!

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one
Namsnanny; Love to! Although we did start a "Rude not Crude" thread a while back along with a "Jokes", but although there were some appropriate responses, it soon fizzled out. I even broached the subject with GNHQ, but nothing came of it.
What do you have in mind?
You certainly haven't "shamed/belittled" me in any way whatsoever, nor appeared "matronly"; there are some around who've tried that, but I find it all so amusing, as Frankie sang! After all, I'm a senile OAP, OBE and fireproof!

You could be right Bluebelle
However this thread could be interesting reading for any older woman and husband/partner who have ‘lost that lovin’ feeling’ so maybe worth keeping it going.

Very good post Lynne59 sensible advice.

Think that post may be deleted oldbatty ??

PLease enlighten me as to men and sheep.

men and sheep that is a whole different saga re viagra it will only work if there is sufficent stimulation perhaps porn or at least some foreplay it doesnt automatically work as soon as you take them.

Ah, didn't realise, still finding my way around, but thank you for pointing it out so nicely Bluebelle.

I wouldn’t worry too much hdh I think original poster has loooooong gone She obviously set the story up and left us all to solve ‘her problem’ ?

Hubby and I sleep apart due to health problems. But we always retire together to have a cuddle and a read or whatever in one of our beds (mine usually as I like a hot bed and he likes a cold fresh one so is happy to hop out to his own cold one afterwards bless him). Just a suggestion.

I hate porn but hubby watches occasionally. I tolerate because I know he just doesn't see it the same way I do and there's too much I love about him to let it come between us. But only you two can decide what is ok or not with you both.

As for the black hairs, personally I would just mention it in conversation and act puzzled (which I would be anyway) as to how they got there. His reaction should tell you what you need to know.

Have you talked about the ED and the sex life situation and about how you both feel about it? Hubby and I still have sex, but not often, as we both have physical problems which make it difficult. And when we do, it's not the same as it used to be, old bodies just let us down. But talking about it and sharing how we feel gives us a closeness that makes up for what we lost.

I hope you can find a way to talk to him about all this that works for you both, and I hope your worst fears are unfounded. Sometimes the actual explanations are really daft and not what we think at all.

Rufus2....Just wondered what had happened on this thread since I last posted, as I was worried I would have put off any would be posters from coming forward with good advice!
No one likes to be belittled - and I think some of the replies did exactly that.
Nor do I like to think I shamed/belittled you by appearing matronly(?) (echoes of Carry On there ).

I just felt/feel that her post was important to her and its not necessary to joke inappropriately is it?

Hey fancy setting up a jokey thread? I could really do with one atthemo!!

to find some humour at another's expense?
Namsnanny; Good Afternoon! As you know, it's known as"Schadenfreude" and I totally agree with your comment. Maw pulled me up over this recently (can't remember the topic; probably about my comments on crook British weather )which may have appeared insensitive, but meant to be humorous. Still feeling suitably chastised I'm now pleased to see this thread has apparently been killed off. May it R.I.P.

With regard to ED. My understanding is that this doesn't necessarily mean no orgasm. There would be other ways and means of successful intimacy for both partners if wanted.
Also, for bad sleepers. Go to bed together, read, chat, whatever, then just before going to sleep one slips next door to the other bedroom for sleep time.

This is assuming that intimacy of some sort is wanted. Perhaps if op would like this then maybe dh needs encouragement in this regard.

I cant see how some of the replies are actually valid.

IMV the op's original post is just stating facts as she finds them and is asking for information as to how to proceed.

Speaking of sheep or other unimaginative comments don't encourage intelligent conversations.

Why would someone bother to answer in this fashion, other than to find some humour at another's expense? Which is childish at best.

No, there is nothing wrong with that Rufus, but if he is gay, then he and Vix need to have a discussion about it and decide on what they both want for the future.

Oh dear; he has retired very early so is probably bored
Or shagged out! Assume he's obviously gay; nothing wrong with that so please leave him alone. Q.E.D