Limerence ..... the shame and embarrassment of it

Thanks Maw, I didn't get a chance to click on the link and read that yesterday, so thanks for reposting it now. Having read it though, I'm still unclear as to the difference between an inappropriate and unwanted by the recipient of one's attentions crush on someone and "limerance". It still, 24 hours later, seems like a made up word to add gravitas to something quite mundane and ordinary.

I rather liked Lord M in his dirty vicar mode, in Parade's End. I wouldn't mind finding him in my Christmas stocking.

I must be on the cusp of psychopathy as I've had no such feelings ?

What filth have you all been posting?!

That made me snort tea down my nose!

I limerate about that Swedish man from The Bridge. Kim, all sweaty and leathery.

I'm still chuckling at the thought of men and women, in their 70s, limerencing all over the place ?

You’re welcome oldbatty
I’ve just googled him, couldn’t be doing with that face hair?

oldbatty was he in Killing Eve as well?
Yes, I could limerence him if Rufus is unavailable.
I would not normally be attracted to someone with face hair but that is neat and controlled.

The facial hair is quite understated janea

Eminently limerencible.

Bella, I agree!

Yes, he was indeed in Killing Eve

oldbatty claimed him first and I am second in line.
Please form an orderly queue behind me.

?

I've only read the first couple of pages of this thread and am surprised at the nastiness directed at the OP.

From my recollection, limerence is not some new notion but a recognised disorder of thought that can be very disruptive to a person's life. I think some of the responses in this thread have been extremely unkind.

Every woman for himself, Jalima. All's fair in love and war!?

Eloethan I don't think the OP was asking for help.

It was this question in the OP that seemed rather odd:
would love to know if any others have any stories to tell, thanks

GrannyH50 could this be of help to you?
www.limerence.net/

I understand what the OP was going through, but there are already words to describe it. At the extreme end of it, with stalking for example, then the words that exist are obsession or compulsion. At the milder end it is a crush or infatuation. And these two can be extreme.

I think the problem is that 'limerance' has no obvious meaning or derivation. Is it something to do with liminality, which is to do with boundaries?

After all the disruptive posts we have had recently - and as Jalima points out, the rather odd request in the OP. One cannot blame anyone who suspected that it was another fishing trip looking for stories to be used against us and treated it accordingly. I am still not sure.

Well said Eloethan. I doubt OP wiil ever come back. There have been a lot of very unpleasant posts taking a very moral high ground. I would even go so far as to say I have an image of a group of schoolgirls in the playground, huddled together sniggering, pointing and calling out. Very humiliating and unpleasant.

Martha, you do not take in to account the number of fishing trips posted recently to make fools of us, how those posts were worded and how this was worded.

Perhaps one or two posters have gone a bit OTT, but the response to this thread shows just how damaging disruptive posts can be.

It is always wise to huddle into groups and face the enemy when being circled by wolves.

There is an ever-present danger with threads on personal or embarrassing subjects. It is that some newspapers like to look on Gransnet for sensational stuff to titillate their readers - "Sexagenarians reveal their secret crushes . . ." complete with an explanation from a psychiatrist about the factors that cause respectable elderly women to lust after virile young studs.

Who knows where the stories could end up, however innocent the original poster's motives? Her story, too, could be blazoned across the front of the Daily **, just when she thought it was in the past and she could start to live down the "shame and embarrassment".

The posters who didn't take her plight seriously may have done her a favour.

I don't understand why someone would come on a public forum and admit to this. I would be too embarrassed to admit it.

Neither do I, Marydoll. I know some people are less inhibited than others about discussing their private lives, but I'd have thought that is is fairly unusual to want to chat merrily with others over what fools you have made of yourselves. You'd want to forget the whole episode.

The OP was challenging us to 'share' experiences.

Do that on Gransnet and you might get more than you bargained for.

We're not all gullible.