Limerence ..... the shame and embarrassment of it

What filth have you all been posting?!

That made me snort tea down my nose!

I must be on the cusp of psychopathy as I've had no such feelings ?

I rather liked Lord M in his dirty vicar mode, in Parade's End. I wouldn't mind finding him in my Christmas stocking.

Thanks Maw, I didn't get a chance to click on the link and read that yesterday, so thanks for reposting it now. Having read it though, I'm still unclear as to the difference between an inappropriate and unwanted by the recipient of one's attentions crush on someone and "limerance". It still, 24 hours later, seems like a made up word to add gravitas to something quite mundane and ordinary.

Good heavens! Only just got to this thread. Why all the deletions from usually sensible posters. What filth have you all been posting?!
Lord M is OK. You are welcome to him. I think I'm past crushes. Probably for the best!

Personally I shall still be looking for onesies in the shops tomorrow

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1225500-Limerence

Not sure why my earlier link to the previous thread on this subject was deleted. It might be if interest to OP and others.
(Is that OK, GNHQ?)

Ah - thank you for explaining merlot.

Sorry, ga, I think you might have taken my reply out of context. I was referring to the first part of your post in a flippant way.

I didn't mean your response, I meant ours - especially Daddima's funny one.

I'm puzzled merlot. In what way was my response unhelpful? It certainly wasn't meant to be.

Tried to PM you to offer support, but you are not set up to receive them. It can be agonizing, not something to be mocked at all.

I think it was the OP who used the words " nasty women " no one called her that , poor soul

It sounds and can be rather nasty. It is presumably what stalkers feel and people who 'fall in love' with people they have only met on line and are exploited by all those scammers who pretend to be US army officers.

Otherwise from that I think most people have occasional crushes on other people, even when they are in a happy partnership, but they rarely last long and most of us are able to see them for what they are and let them run their course.

I think GrannyH50, far from being a 'nasty woman' I would just like to reassure you that what has happened to you is perfectly normal and the best thing you can do is relax and let whatever you are feeling roll over you. Is all part of of the width of normal human emotion. If it would help see a counsellor.

GrannynActivist- Thanks for the explanation.Why didn’t the OP just tell us in the first place.Im always wary of googling strange words in case I start getting unwanted adverts and junk mail!

Daddima ?

I think this must top the list of ga's unhelpful responses.

He probably shat himself afterwards

Brilliant Daddima!

Daddima

I had to think about it for a moment.

anniebach, your ‘bandage’ post made me laugh, and reminded me of a Rikki Fulton sketch where he was reading a letter at the breakfast table, and asked his wife, “ Is that an a or an o”
“ It’s an o dear”, replies wife.
“ Good God, my brother’s shot himself”.

I'm sorry the responses you got on the thread were not very helpful GrannyH50. At Gransnet we're usually much more welcoming than you have experienced, but I'm afraid your post has come at a time when we've had a lot of spurious threads started and I suspect there are some who thought perhaps yours was one.
Please don't give up on us.

As for your question; a dear friend of mine found herself in this state many years ago. She was completely besotted with a man who she believed was her soul mate - both were married to others at the time and the object of her feelings held her at arm's length; she got help and was eventually able to let go of her preoccupation with him and with the concept of 'what might have been' and concentrate on her marriage. It took her some time to find peace again and then recently she found out that he has died and has quietly mourned his passing.

Limerence is actually quite a useful word to describe something more than a 'crush' - it can border on the obsessional and is often at the root of stalking or unrequited feelings. 'Our brains are responsible for the lasting excitement that follows the chemistry- bonded relationship. As much as we want to externally explain pre- and post- chemistry excitement, the real cause is our brain’s overproduction of interacting hormones and neurotransmitters. To explain this emotional and biochemical process, Dorothy Tennov (1979) coined the term “limerence.”' Ross Rosenberg

I limerance John Humphries, it’s his voice ?

That's being greedy kittylester.
Off you go to do a bit of limerencing with Robert

Oi, you lot leave Rufus Sewell to me!!

I saw Robert Redford on tv yesterday and he's still got it - despite all the wrinkles!! I might Limerance him!

It seems a silly name for what everyone else would describe as a crush, an infatuation or falling in love. But perhaps it implies the obsessive feelings of someone with a mental health condition such as bi polar.

Reading Margaret Rutherford’s biography it would seem to fit in with the obsessive infatuations she had - when in her 50s and married to StringerDavis she almost ran off to Canada to follow a young pianist who was about 25 years younger and with whom she had become infatuated with and had convinced herself was also in love with her.