Is anyone living with a sibling in later life?

My brother lives my DH & me for similar reasons. It is OK but he does not earn enough to contribute to bills though buys food etc. Cannot claim housing benefit as I am a relative..eligible if in a room / flat elsewhere.
Sometimes it is a burden but 90% of the time it is fine.

Could you have a trial run first to see if it works? As you both have the same temperament and tastes it sounds like a good idea but life holds no guarantees. I would ask what's the worst case scenario and how would you cope with it?
For myself I don't think I could live with my sister unless we had a separate wing of a large house each as we would drive each other insane!

So nice to hear siblings getting on so well you sound as though you have put some thought into it and the companionship would be good for you both .I hope it works out well for you when the time comes

What a lovely idea and such lovely stories.

My two sons love each other, of course, but did not really get on that well. Circumstances have brought them together in accommodation that is similar to student halls at uni. They each have a studio with ensuite facilities and a kitchen/living room, shared between three units. They now get on much better and when the older son was ill recently, the younger one was very caring & supportive...…. quite a surprise to all concerned. Perhaps having a third person in the mix has helped but I think that having their own (lockable) unit with a communal area has provided options that they did not have when living at home.

Btw my sons are in their 40s.....I know this does not really relate to your situation maggietulliver but it does show that even people who would not have chosen to live together can do so peaceably if the accommodation allows them to. Sometimes it can bring out the best in people, too.

I have lived happily with my sister for several years. However we each have our own area in the house and just share a kitchen. It works well for us!

How lovely that siblings can live together harmoniously. I envy families who have such good relationships.

A lady I know lived as an unmarried trio with her two sisters for many years. She got on well with them, but has had to cope with first one, then the other suffering ill-health and dementia, before they finally died. She now lives alone in a big house, but is enjoying the freedom.
Another neighbour moved in with her sister while some work was done on her house. Both widows, they enjoyed the arrangement so much that they stayed together, spending the proceeds on having fun, when the other house was sold.
I think that I would try a 'trial run' with your brother, before making a definite commitment, and ensure that you both have somewhere to be alone if the mood takes you, too. It sounds like a good plan, but things don't always work out as you expect. Good luck!

I could never live with my sister's. One is totally dishonest and her main interest is moaning about everyone; the 2nd is a walking pigsty reminds me of Steptoe and the third has never done a days work in her life and lives off her PIP And no she's not disabled but fools the powers that be and is proud of it.

My neighbours were 2 sisters. It worked well when they were both spritely, they had the best social lives of anyone on the street! Always going on trips etc..

But it went down hill when one of them became less mobile and began to have memory issues. They fell out then. In fairness to the other one I think she felt herself getting frailer and couldnt face the role of carer... and as the less well sister didnt live alone hospitals and SS didnt see any urgency in putting anything in place to help until the well(ish) sister moved out.

Its sad that they had to fall out in order to get some outside support. They seemed like great friends. They maybe should have been close neighbours rather than co-living?

Always consider the "what ifs" in advance. For instance, what if one of you meets someone and wants to bring them home / set up home with them? It's a big risk to assume neither of you will fall for someone just because of age etc.

If I ever suggest living with my sister, shoot me. We have been NC for about 4 years but recently, due to the ill health of my DM, we have had to communicate on a couple of occasions. In each case she has caused widespread drama and complicated things so much. I have quietly bowed out of contact again because she is so toxic. Life is just so much easier.

Sounds like an excellent idea. I would think about setting ground rules early on - who does what/pays for what/boundaries etc. This could solve a lot of potential problems later on. Plus of course what would happen when one of you dies. There are of course minus points, but I am sure you have considered them, nothing is perfect .

I live with my older brother with Learning Disabilities, it works quite well and is mutually beneficial. We say we look after each other. I am a widow and brother lived with Mum until she passed 10 years ago

I think you need to compile a list of 'what ifs', and make sure every eventuality is covered, as best you can.

I personally know four sets of brothers and sisters who have lived together for many years and they all seem to have got on well. The women in the relationships seem to all fulfill the more old fashioned "women's role" but they seem fine with that. When your Mom does eventually go could you perhaps try it for a trial period to see how it goes and if it doesn't work out help him to get accommodation near you which would be a good compromise.

Why would you want to start looking after someone now your daughter is offhand and you can start having a lif of your own.
He is not your responsiblity

Hollydoily the poster says she and her brother are close and enjoy each other’s company, she doesn’t imply that she would have to look after him. And not all of us were pleased to have our children off our hands: we enjoyed raising them. I’m surprised at some of the negative comments on here, especially after reading some posters’ comments about their husbands. Maggie, I think you will both be very happy.

My two aunts, my mums sisters lived together in their married sisters house after one of them had a slight stroke and my cousin moved the two sisters to a Methodist care home close to where my cousin lived.

One aunt was about 94 and the other 96. My mother the youngest died at 81,

she doesn’t imply that she would have to look after him

Well one of them will likely end up caring.

I had a similar thought with a brother when we both became single. We’d always been close when young, then he went all weird and didn’t speak to me for years. Then we were talking again. But have come to realise the passing years, all sorts of family shenanigans, have changed us both too much. He came to stay for a weekend. That was enough. I know it wouldn’t work, which is sad. My rose-tinted specs envisaged something very different.
But that’s not to say it won’t work for you. Keep all options open financially and once you’ve decided it’s a good idea, give it a go!

I had 2 very dear aunties who were sisters. They had both married, neither had their own children, and both our lived their husbands by 20 plus years. For the last 13 years of their lives they sold one house releasing money for them both to enjoy and put other house in joint names. They travelled a lot and were very generous to me and my sisters. They were very close and when one died the other died less than 6 weeks later. They had their own rooms and a spare room they turned into second sitting room.

I have four sisters but no brothers. If i was living alone i would be happy to live with any of my sisters as we all get along so well. My second eldest sister lives alone and comes to stay with all of us in turn and we all meet up regularly despite living apart.

I think that sounds a lovely idea, and you obviously get on, so why not?
I was beyond ecstatic, rose-tinted specs and all that, when my DSIS announced that she and her husband were moving to our town, and, in fact about 10 minutes walk away. Having not lived near family for several years I thought it sounded lovely, and we had always got on well....
It did not go well, and two years later they moved away. DD said she could have told me it would not work as DSIS and I are apparently so different.
We get on better at a distance.
I would never move in with any family or have them with me.