My husband found a job thousands miles away

You are married so have a claim on the house. I had neighbours where the husband (whose name was on the flat) tried to devalue/lose the flat so his wife "wouldnt get a penny" but as they were in the process of divorcing the property was somewhat ring fenced legally even though he wasnt paying his mortgage and ground rent and even set fire to it! Ordinarily the freeholder would have taken back the leasehold and the mortgage company would have repossessed (which would have been better for us neighbours if Im honest!) But dùe to the property being involved in a divorce those things were somewhat put on hold and the wife in the end did get it sold and got some money out of it.

This was in the UK though, but shows you need legal advice NOW to get marital assets held/ring fenced.

I know another couple going through a nasty divorce right now where the property is somewhat "frozen" and being controlled by the solicitors so that the husband cant sabotage the wife's claim on her share, so there are things that can be done if you are getting good legal advice.

It was my husbands greed that we lost everything including the roof over our head but he is ready to leave us here knowing any moment we will be evicted.

P.s. another couple I know who divorced the husband told the wife he had a job abroad so she wouldnt go through CSA for child support. He HAD quit his (good) job but was found flipping burgers less than 5 miles away! Wasn't abroad at all! Just hiding from her because he didnt want to face his responsibilities and consequences.

Wouldn't be surprised if this far away job is just gasslighting to make you feel like there is no point in pursuing

It was my husbands greed that we lost everything including the roof over our head but he is ready to leave us here knowing any moment we will be evicted

Its not a done deal yet
Get legal and financial advice NOW you may be able to get the process paused!

I think you are right, He told me my son and I could die.

I know this will sound harsh but for now you need to stop thinking about him and focus on the practicalities for you and your son, there will be time for anger and grief and sadness later, right now its about action. Start making phone calls and appontments and gather as much paperwork as you can: store it at a friends house where he cant take it. Make sure your bank account is just in your name. Change ALL your passwords and pin numbers.

"Do" now
Think later

x

Update school and ask for a meeting. Ask them for advice and ask them what support they can put in place and if there are any support agencies they can refer you both to re housing etc.

Change your email passwords, your phone pin, everything.

Call all your utility providers, tell them what happened and as them for an account update, ask for payment breaks or payment plans if needed.

Do a credit check on yourself (dunno how it works in US, here you have companies like checkmyfile)

Work on staying in the house and halting eviction, but also work on a back up plan/plan B so you have somewhere to go

Paperwork is vital. Compile ALL you can on everything. Store copies online or with a friend / solicitor / safe deposit box so he cant take them.

Put your son's passport and birth cert etc in a safe deposit box or in the care of a solicitor.

This is so tangled and involved, much more to it than original post.

This is everything that happened to us since our trip to India

Actually, he even filed chapter 7 bankruptcy in December we are waiting on that since we have a rental property the judge is trying to decide if he should sell it to pay back the creditors or let us keep it the house we’re living in he can’t touch it because of foreclosure

Please please please get legal advice. Your husband is talking rubbish on relation to your rights

Brendaann over the last two days, all of us have given you advice, much of it saying get yourself organised, instruct lawyers and make sure you are taking the fight back to your husband.

But it worries me that all your posts on this thread have been more details of all that has gone before and nothing about what you are doing now to make sure you come out of this mess in the best order possible.

For your own and your son's sake you must start taking action and fast. How worrying is it for your son, to have a mother who while undoubtedly distressed and worried about the future is doing nothing to make both your lives better.

Please can your next post be about the actions you have taken and what legal advice you have been given.

First things first meet with an attorney

1. Gather ALL documents pertaining to your marital assets, children of the marriage and any other issues that you feel are pertinent.

Meet with an attorney

2. Depending on the state that you reside in, be prepared to get court ordered into mediation prior to any trial and/or divorce settlement.

Meet with an attorney

3. Going forward keep any/all communication with him via text/email only. Record all phone conversations. Documentation will be key. Hearsay will not suffice.

Meet with an attorney

4. Your spouse may try to hide assets/income from you. Its your job to stay on top of that.

Meet with an attorney

5. If you feel that he fraudulently used your marriage as a means to get his U.S. citizenship, contact immigration. Do be aware that anything you say can and will be used against you, and if there is any reason for immigration to suspect that you too were complicit in the fraudulent marriage, you could also be investigated and prosecuted.

b). Also remember that in order for your husband to get his initial immigration application approved, YOU had to sign an Affidavit of Support which was a legally binding contract between YOU and the U.S. government in which YOU agreed to financially support him as your non-citizen spouse.

Must meet with an attorney

6. Keep your children's passports in a safe lock and at from him. International parental child abduction is not science fiction. Don't let him flee with your children if the kitchen gets too hot for him. With help from your attorney, obtain a valid, enforceable court order that includes prevention provisions, such as restrictions on removing any of your children from the country.

Meet with an attorney

7. Can't stress how much more you need to quickly meet with an attorney. They will help protect you and your rights when it comes to child custody, child support, alimony, division of marital assets and how marital debt will be split, BEFORE he moves thousands of miles away. Him moving thousands of miles away will only complicate and make your divorce proceedings harder, especialy if he moves out of state. Act NOW!

Sorry you going through all of this. I know its easier said than done. Take care of yourself and your children. Try not to go through this without a lawyer. Can't stress the importance of that. Stop thinking about what he's done and pay more attention to what you should be doing for yourself and your son.

Stop thinking about what he's done and pay more attention to what you should be doing for yourself and your son.
thisthisthis
Please be doing this!

LLL has given you some clear, necessary actions to take ...with an attorney! As she says its not easy. You are in shock BUT you must start to think about the way forward. Please use her post as a checklist and start doing it.

I'm so sorry to read all this, Brendaann. You might wish to contact Women's Aid re: the emotional abuse and for general advice. I wish you well.

You need to take control of your life. If the house is in his name only in the UK it is still a joint asset. But debts are also joint. However if he has business debt that may be separate.
Perhaps you are still in shock. But you really need support and to take control to stop being a victim.
Do you work? Could you work? There may be some assets or value in the house. Get straight on the phone to all the companies that you (or he) deal with and demand the information.
Call the mortgage provider, the bank. Search out paperwork. Until you kniw the full situation you cannot begin to deal with it. It may seem overwhelming but if you ignore it it won’t help. Tell your son that you may need to move. Explain the situation and support him. Help him with his studies. Do something to help yourself.

Brendaann
Is this a real problem?
it's just after all the advice and suggestions people have made you have made no positive response to what your intentions are or your future plans.
Your first post gave the impression you very urgently needed advice.

"What kind of husband that leaves his family in a house that going to be foreclosured."

One you can well do much better without.
As each State has different marital and property laws, you must do as everyone here says and get legal advice.

THEN - be positive for your son, he needs your strength right now and hope for his future. He's been through just as bad a time as you so concentrate on him and if you are evicted, take the opportunity to move and start afresh.

I wonder why you stood this for 17 years?

Here's a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline which runs safe houses for women and children. They will advise you where, in your State, you can find a safe haven.
www.thehotline.org

Like you jeannie99 I have been questioning the reality of this posting, but everyone else was being so helpful. Cynicism is a terrible burden at times!

OP The USA does have domestic abuse charities. You need to get proactive right now. Get in contact with one of them. Explain everything. All of the abuse and ask for help.
They may be able to offer legal assistance.
Because while i would advise you to go to a lawyer now I doubt you have access to enough fund.

I have posted sympathy and advice, but I also had a suspicious niggle at the time I made my last post, which was why it was so rousing. I notice that since several of us started pushing her about doing something she has't posted.

Could you possibly divorce him for desertion? Talk to a good divorce lawyer ASAP and insist on custody of your son.

It worries me that you sound as if you don't have any income? Is the house in your husband's name or in yours as well?