Don't know what to make of this

Sounds ok for the guests Come when you want.
Eat and drink what you want.
Leave when you want.
make sure your gone before time to wash or clear up

Doesn't sound such a good deal for the host or Birthday lady of the house.
In fact it would be my worst nightmare!

crazyh

I hope that you don't think I'm being mean - I don't intend to be. A weekend in London with babies and adults - why? I can't imagine anything worse. London is a great place to be - either as an adult or as a grandparent with the grandchildren, when they are old enough to appreciate the various sights etc etc. But mixing the generations for an expensive weekend? You could well end up baby sitting whilst your children and spouses went out for the evening

When I lived in Suffolk we used to have girls' nights when each person brought a dish or a bottle. The husbands usually went off to the pub. Here in France there is something called an auberge espagnole (don't ask why I don't know) where everyone brings a dish and a bottle (like pot luck) You do need someone to do a little bit of organising or you'll end up with hundreds of sausage rolls. You wouldn't need to spend a lot of money - a few bottles of something sparkling - not necessarily champagne - for a toast shouldn't cost too much.

This should be an occasion for something convivial, with your friends and not something where you should be a gourmet cook. Remember Jeffery Archer? His Christmas parties use to be shepherds' pie and champange.

Finally - happy birthday and I hope it goes well

Mine too Cherrytree

I would probably have just said I couldn't afford to do the walk in party ...and left it for ACs to come up with idea of paying for it if they felt inclined. But even so, the DILs miffiness seems a bit silly really on the basis of what you did say, tbh

CrazyH, you're only 65! The weekend it London will be quite enough this time. You have several 'special' birthdays to look forward to, so start planning and saving for a 'do' with friends and neighbours in, say, five years' time.

Have a great birthday. Quite right to lay cards on the table. If you don't want it, don't do it. It's your birthday after all, and you want to be able to enjoy the day.
Have a lovely time.