Anyone else's husband turned into a Grumpy old man?

The thread title made it fairly clear what the general topic was going to be, so could have avoided it, yet you still chose to read it

Mama Caz; I had a similar problem with Maw some time ago when it appeared my posts, always intended to be light-hearted, were not being seen that way. I suggested trying not read them if my name appeared as author to avoid being upset, but no such luck. Others have told me since that I write rubbish and not worth reading, but that's their choice and at least they now leave me alone!

Not so much grumpy but oh so very noisy! Bless him if its not clearing his throat or generally harrumping its being 'windy' or a noisy eater. Car journeys are the worse and I've found myself thinking ....well I'll make a noise every time he does and see what he says. I never do its just so childish! The other thing he does when driving is suddenly find he has an itch that requires attention - quite alarming in busy traffic. Oh hey ho at least he's still the decent tolerant person I married.....except when Greg Wallace pops up on the telly!

About 20 years ago Grampy and I had a lovely discussion about his grumpiness. We always joked that he started with ‘ no’ , no matter the question and it was wearing !

Everyone knew that he would say yes after he had already upset the applecart.

I explained that I was with him not because I needed him but because I wanted to be with him but I had reached the end of the grumpy piece of string. If he could not change then I could not stay. It wasn’t done with shouting or anger just resignation.

I’d lie if I were to say he changed in a heart beat but change , over time, he did. He’s not perfect , he has his moments but generally he’s not grumpy Grampy ??.

I am fortunate that he loved his family enough to change . I’m also lucky in that he has hobbies which give us both space to breathe.

So my sympathies to those who still have a grumpy Grampy ...my only suggestion is a frank discussion .

Lively not lovely lol

P.S. would just like to add, on a serious note, there is a difference between a general air of grumpiness and the sort of behaviour that becomes bullying and controlling.
My father was the latter but my dear Mum tried to pretend it was the former. He was the sort of man his children lived in dread of him coming home from work because an air of oppression and gloom would arrive with him. There was no violence just a permanent reign of criticism and strict dogmatic control. Outsiders did not see it and we all found it difficult to explain when we were old enough to leave and try and build our own lives.
He was not a 'grumpy' man he was a nasty man and we should never belittle or criticise women who have to cope with that for whatever reason.

Evie - you asked if anyone else's husband had turned into a grumpy old man - yes mine - he moans from the time he gets up in the morning until bedtime. Has had various health issues, but that's not an excuse I know. However, for better for worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

I agree with Maw to an extent. It often seems to be husband bashing when threads are classed as "humorous " I am the grumpy one in our marriage and my husband is very tolerant. I had a bit of a strop today when we travelled some distance and the shop did not have what I wanted. He thinks I have 'only child ' syndrome !!

Mama Caz; I had a similar problem with Maw some time ago when it appeared my posts, always intended to be light-hearted, were not being seen that way
That’s a very personal attack rufus plus being a post about another thread.
Humour surely, is in the eye of the beholder or readers and “banter” or sexist remarks which ,as I recollect they were, perhaps not “light hearted” to this reader?

OH suffers from depression and now has arthritis which GP says has to be lived with and that makes him grumpy. Generally he is better in warmer weather so am hopeful for another good summer.

Without doubt, there are untold numbers of husbands in this world who believe their wife/partner has turned into a grumpy old woman, and so the world turns.

Not my wife though, she has kept the same outgoing lighthearted personality that was within her as when we met.

Me, well the grandchildren certainly see me as an easygoing soft touch.

That’s very sweet Grandad what a lovely tribute!

I didn't see this thread as light hearted at all. Some of the posts are really sad. It must be so unpleasant to live with someone who never brings any joy into your life, whether that is a husband or a wife.

Thank you, Maw, for the above comment. We will be going to see
André Rieu at one of his orchestras Maastricht Concert(s) this year. Now, that is something we have wanted to do for I do not know how many years.

We hoped to go last year for our 50s wedding anniversary, but that was not to be for reasons outside our control.

But we are most definitely going to make up for that this year.

I certainly will not be grumpy on that occasion.

To be fair it could be grumpy old man, or grumpy old woman, depending on what life throws at you as you age. My father was definitely a grumpy old man towards the end of his life, riddled with Rheumatoid Arthritis, complications with Type 1 Diabetes and I did think my mother was a saint at times......but the boot could have been on the other foot, she just remained the healthier one.

I'd definitely say I was grumpier than my husband, particularly first thing in the morning before I've had that first coffee, then I'm all

I really must try to live up to my nom de plume, but cheerfulness keeps breaking in.

SiL tried to help this evening and peeled some potatoes for dinner. He heard someone in His Kitchen and was there in a flash. Wrong potatoes! Grumpiness in the extreme!

He’s always been grumpy bless him.

Rufus2 You're a tonic as well as a dag !

Sort of proved my point didn't you.

As for happy old men - how about Santa Claus?

O M G YES! i said the other day that it was like living with my granddad

Wow! Didn't mean to start an argument on here, I get enough of those at home thanks. Thanks for all the kind comments and suggestions though. I really have tried everything, suggested exercise, hobbies, getting a p/t job or volunteering or just being grateful for each day but to no avail. He is never happy with anything I do or say, but hey ho, like I said, after 46 years, it's not really feasible to be "moving on" despite the fact that he is controlling and bullying. I try to just ignore it as best I can but life is not much fun. Thank God for my part time job and the friends I have there.

PS: forgot to say, he is on antidepressants but still thinks he is fine and it's everyone else. He's never honest with the GP when he goes for reviews.

Anyone remember that fab sitcom 'Butterflies'? I loved it and when we were first married told Mr. S. that he reminded me of the husband who was always a bit grumpy and he'd be just like him when he got older.

We laughed about it then and laugh about it now.

We've had a traumatic 7 years, losing our son and only GC through estrangement but always find ways of cheering one another up when the other is down. A hug works wonders.

I hope you can find ways of bringing a smile to your grumpy husbands faces; maybe this beautiful Easter weather will help.

Rufus2 You're a tonic as well as a dag !
Sort of proved my point didn't you

Bradford: I know you're tucked up in bed right now, or should be, but I must thank you for reminding me of that very funny Kiwi comedian, Fred Dagg; note the 2 Gs' but were not pedants around here. I take it as a compliment!

But I don't follow your Kiwi-speak; What was your point?

I didn't see this as necessarily a humorous thread when I saw the title. If it was intended that way, well, humor can be hard to get across on the Internet, I think because we can't hear intonation. But Evie's later post where she mentions dh becoming "controlling and bullying" makes me think she wasn't trying to be funny.

Anyhow, dh isn't grumpy, per se, but he seems to look for things to worry about and I have to remind him not to borrow trouble. I really think it's because his mind is not as occupied as it was when he was working. He has hobbies, but has cut back on some of them. Fortunately, he has friends that he goes fishing with in the warmer months - gets him out of the house more and in a better frame of mind. And yes, I know there are things that make me grumpy, myself, especially first thing in the morning when I'm not totally awake yet, lol!

Evie, I'm sure dh's behavior is related to his depression. Or maybe to the medication. Would it be possible for you to speak to his doctor or would dh get angry?

I'm glad you get away from his attitude via work and that you have friends there. I hope you make plans with those friends sometimes - meet for lunch, etc., so you can enjoy more pleasant times.

Meanwhile, I think some of you ladies have found some lovely solutions! Kudos!

Grandad and grumpa, you sound delightful!

Hi, I'm new to this but glad to see that I'm not the only person with a grumpy old man for a husband. He has changed in the last year to such a miserable sod and always moaning at everything. I can't do anything wrong. He is not the talking type so I guess I will have to come on here to chat. Its good to know I'm not alone

I can cope with my husband when he is being a grump but the thing that makes me feel sick is when I observe my teenager treading on egg shells because of it.