I didn't see this as necessarily a humorous thread when I saw the title. If it was intended that way, well, humor can be hard to get across on the Internet, I think because we can't hear intonation. But Evie's later post where she mentions dh becoming "controlling and bullying" makes me think she wasn't trying to be funny.
Anyhow, dh isn't grumpy, per se, but he seems to look for things to worry about and I have to remind him not to borrow trouble. I really think it's because his mind is not as occupied as it was when he was working. He has hobbies, but has cut back on some of them. Fortunately, he has friends that he goes fishing with in the warmer months - gets him out of the house more and in a better frame of mind. And yes, I know there are things that make me grumpy, myself, especially first thing in the morning when I'm not totally awake yet, lol!
Evie, I'm sure dh's behavior is related to his depression. Or maybe to the medication. Would it be possible for you to speak to his doctor or would dh get angry?
I'm glad you get away from his attitude via work and that you have friends there. I hope you make plans with those friends sometimes - meet for lunch, etc., so you can enjoy more pleasant times.
Meanwhile, I think some of you ladies have found some lovely solutions! Kudos!
Grandad and grumpa, you sound delightful!