Worried Mum

In my childhood home, there were a fair few photos displayed of two elder sibs. None of me! I just shrugged and thought they’d got a bit cavalier with it all by the third.
Your son is channelling another issue here. You need to talk to him, quietly and gently. Do hope it works out ok.

I am the middle child of three. There are no photos of me before the age of three, but there are several of my siblings. I was always aware that I was my mother’s least favourite child. Fortunately, I have created my own happy family consisting of my daughter, husband and granddaughter, and we are very close and happy. Chezzal, I do not wish to hurt you, but we each perceive our childhood in our own way - it is not for your daughter to tell her brother that his upbringing was happy. Only he knows how he felt as a child. My brother had a happy childhood, I didn’t and my sister has mixed feelings of hers. We are all individuals. O.P, I hope, given time, your son will return to the fold but it may be wise to allow him time!

How frustrating and confusing for you, AnotherLiz! A lot of good posts here though, I think. I agree that you should just ask him straight out what's going on. But please be prepared for him to avoid the issue - or, to the contrary, bombard you w/ a list of grievances/questions. As a PP said, I would mostly listen - answer any questions briefly and kindly, but mostly listen and take in what he has to say. Mull it over and discuss it with DH before you give DS any major replies... Just my thoughts...

Tillybelle, I'm sorry if you're AC are blaming you for the dad's suicide. How very hurtful! I think it's very normal for people to want to blame someone when a loved one commits suicide. Hard to accept that they had a mental illness or just had some 'reason' why they wanted to check out of life. But still, IMO, it's not fair for them to pin it on you and let that damage the relationship with the parent they have left (you). Are you sure it's just about that thought? Are there no other issues between you that you might be able to "fix?"

Sounds to me that somebody else is causing trouble and has put ideas into his head. I would make contact gently and say that when he is ready you are there for him. It is then up to him to make the first move.

Thank you so much everybody for your helpful replies and for sharing your experiences too. I think I will sit down with my son, just the two of us, and have a broad discussion with him which hopefully will enable him to raise his issues if he wants to. Thanks again