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'B' has divided the country, but families too ...

(156 Posts)
jura2 Sun 02-Jun-19 13:49:54

on a EU remain site for expats in the EU - so many young people and families saying they do not intend to visit parents in the UK in the future, and no longer wish to invite them to come and stay with them in EU - as they are so upset and shocked at their parents hard Brexit and anti EU/immigration stance- and just cannot face spending time with them. How sad. I didn't always agree with my parents, and do not always agree with DDs- but that would break my heart.

MawBroonsback Sun 02-Jun-19 14:08:07

As did the Scottish Independence Referendum.
It is in the (binary) nature of the beast.

paddyann Sun 02-Jun-19 14:13:04

I dont know of any family split by the Independence referendum mawbroonsback I know families where one voted NO ,indeed my own son in law did .We all still get along fine and he says that he wishes he had voted yes and will do next time round.He was also a Tory man thought Maggie was a wonderful PM and woman , but has voted SNP since 2014 and although English born and bred...he only moved here 9 years ago...he says there is no likliehood of him moving back south.His parents live in the very South of England and say if it wasn't for Scottish weather they'd move here too

paddyann Sun 02-Jun-19 14:13:39

ps though they still vote Tory

MawBroonsback Sun 02-Jun-19 14:14:08

Oh I do * Paddyann* at any rate at the time and the immediate aftermath sad

Chewbacca Sun 02-Jun-19 14:22:26

I don't know of any family; friends or colleagues who have irreparably fallen out with each other over Brexit. Immediately after the referendum there was a lot of heated discussion but, since then, there has just been a common consensus that the whole shebang has been a dog's breakfast.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:26:25

Here's a thought what about trying to get along with others whether they be friends or family immaterial of how they voted.

I have friends who voted leave, remain and some who are considering changing their votes if there were to be another referendum on our EU membership/withdrawal agreement.

Life is to short to have grudges or not speak to anyone because of where one has put an X on the ballot paper.

lemongrove Sun 02-Jun-19 14:27:45

This EU remain site for expats......if they really are saying this and meaning it ( as opposed to boasts on social media) then what stupid crass people they are.
Leaving the EU is a political decision.If they really think so little about good parents who have brought them up well and care about them, then if I were one of their parents, although I would be sad, ultimately I may think I was well rid of them.
It would help of course if all the EU countries came out and said what our government has said, giving a firm committment to EU citizens here that they are welcome to stay and have all their rights. You can only ask yourself why these countries have not done so already.

dizzyblonde Sun 02-Jun-19 14:29:17

I voted remain as did my DH and all the children, my sister voted leave as did my father in law. We still get along just as before. We’ve always had different opinions on things but agree to disagree.

notanan2 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:31:14

There is just no way back from it if someone in your extended family voted to have your family ripped apart.

That wont be forgotten, how could it be?

lemongrove Sun 02-Jun-19 14:34:03

Ripped apart? We are still on the continent of Europe!
They can still fly to see us and we them.It’s beyond ridiculous.

kittylester Sun 02-Jun-19 14:34:06

I'm wandering around agreeing with you today, gg.

Just agree to disagree, it makes no difference what anyone else thinks as, currently, we have no influence!

I have a very bolshie friend who has argued so badly with her stepdaughter that they no longer speak which puts her lovely husband in a dreadful position.

I just refuse to talk to her about it.

jura2 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:38:15

lemong : 'if they really are saying this and meaning it ( as opposed to boasts on social media) then what stupid crass people they are.
Leaving the EU is a political decision...'

your comment is very naïve. It depends very much on what is being said, re immigrants, for instance. Depends very much if it turn out not to be a 'political' decision, but one based on prejudice and unjustifiable opinions, and 'non-facts'. Imagine a family, well settled abroad, doing well, kids totally integrated, speaking 2 or more languages - and the parents opinion and vote puts the happiness and freedom of that family at risk of having it all taken away - why would being angry and very disappointed be 'crass'.

If parents can argue sensibly and reasonably, giving political based arguments- then I think most would be able to 'agree to disagree'. In many case- this is not the case - arguments given make no sense and said parent will not listen to any other side or even fact- and in many cases, the arguments have shown just blatant stereotypes and prejudice. Just depends on 'how'.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:47:39

I have said this repeatedly and I am going to say it again. Members of my family lived in a country in Europe before it was in the EU, they worked, owned property, child went to school.

These things were possible pre the current make-up of the EU and will be afterwards if the UK ever leaves!

lemongrove Sun 02-Jun-19 14:50:55

Nothing to say jura2 about those EU countries who will not give reassurances to the British people settled there?
How about some blame falling on them? We have given committments to their citizens here, after all, so it’s the least they can do in return.
I never totally believe all the rants on social media anyway, you shouldn’t either.

varian Sun 02-Jun-19 14:53:03

I know someone who voted leave although her husband, children, all her family and closest friends were all remainers. She is not a racist (married to an immigrant), doesn't vote Tory and not stupid but repeats worn cliches about the "EU gravy train" which I think she has picked up from her Tory friends that she spends a lot of time playing bridge with. They are all readers of the Telegraph or the Daily Mail.

Her family tend to avoid the subject of brexit but it is an elephant in the room. They think if they don't antagonise her by disagreeing she may change her mind. I think she voted LibDem in the EU elections, so perhaps they are right and she has already changed her mind.

notanan2 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:53:09

GG the home office has moved those goal posts so what was possible pre Bexit wont be possible post Brexit.

eazybee Sun 02-Jun-19 14:56:44

'There is just no way back from it if someone in your extended family voted to have your family ripped apart.'

This is exactly the sort of comment that was bandied about , and still pertains in a few families, when the miners' strike 'split' families.
It only happens if certain people refuse to accept that other people are entitled to hold a different opinion.
Intolerance, nothing more, nothing less.
You really are a twerp, Jura.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 02-Jun-19 14:59:40

lemongrove I have an European DIL and GC (currently studying in EU) it took minutes to fill in a form on the internet cost £50 sorted. They are now entitled to stay in U.K.

Mount out of molehills are being made!!!

varian Sun 02-Jun-19 15:00:20

"Intolerance, nothing more, nothing less.
You really are a twerp, Jura."

Who's the intolerant one?

I'm waiting for the leave voters to accept that other people are entitled to hold a different opinion and indeed that everyone is entitled to change their mind.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 02-Jun-19 15:00:48

so - should be mountains not mount.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 02-Jun-19 15:03:07

Varian of course everyone is allowed an opinion and everyone has a right to express it.

That applies to those who voted leave also, which is often forgotten by many "remainers".

lemongrove Sun 02-Jun-19 15:03:30

Leave voters on GN do accept that others are entitled to a different view varian it’s not them that are the problem!

M0nica Sun 02-Jun-19 15:07:03

DH and I have just spent a very pleasant few days with one of our oldest friends. She voted for Brexit. When her DH was alive politically they were somewhere to the right of Nigel Farage. We most emphatically are centre/left of centre.

Over 60 years, neither side has let this spoil our close friendship. We have all just accepted that our political views are very different and left it at that.

Ginny42 Sun 02-Jun-19 15:12:22

eazybee that's a good line in sensible debate - 'you really are a twerrp, Jura. I can't believe you wrote that.