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I'm a "Fixer"

(8 Posts)
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NannaM Sat 15-Jun-19 16:40:54

The thing is - There are times when I can see, so clearly, what the problem is, what the solution is, and all I want to do is tell my AC (or others) the easiest way to fix things.
But it causes frustration in my AC who want to make their own mistakes. For instance, my AD started up as a rep for a home based business selling an expensive but good quality product, and asked me for referrals. I gave her some of my friends contact details, and she failed to show for one appointment. My friend contacted me, I contacted my AD, and it caused friction, both with the AD and with the friend. Then another friend emailed me to say she was really happy with the product, and that my AD was going to go round there on Saturday. But my AD said she was going on Sunday. So I texted the AD to say "she is expecting you Saturday". And got another message "don't interfere".
Frustrating. On one hand, I get she doesn't want me telling her what to do. On the other hand, she involved me in her business when she asked for referrals. And my friends and I talk all the time so instances like this are bound to come up.
Anyone else do this "fixing"? How do you stop and just let them get on with it? Even if it means that my relationship with my friends suffers?

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Blinko Sat 15-Jun-19 16:43:59

Don't become piggy in the middle. Put your friends directly in touch with your daughter and vice versa. Then stay out of it.

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tanith Sat 15-Jun-19 16:46:23

I think you made a mistake involving friends with your daughters business you should of said sorry but no.
You should now keep out of it I’m afraid.

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EllanVannin Sat 15-Jun-19 17:43:10

A wide berth all round.

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cornergran Sat 15-Jun-19 17:47:48

Best to wait to be asked to ‘fix’, frustrating though it may be at times. Try to give your friends a message that your daughters business is hers alone and any contact must be direct. Sometimes it’s best just not to know.

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glammanana Sat 15-Jun-19 17:48:22

Just give your friends you DDs contact number and let them sort things themselves,when you are a mum you can't do right for doing wrong sometimes.
Let you DD get on with her own business unless she is giving you a % grin

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sodapop Sat 15-Jun-19 18:00:11

Yes Blinko is right put them in touch then leave them to it. Don't get involved in business with friends and family unless you are part of said business, it can lead to trouble all round.

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agnurse Sat 15-Jun-19 18:12:30

Agree completely.

The issue here is that your child is an adult. Not only is this her issue to sort out, but having a parent get involved in someone's professional life is very unprofessional. (Case in point - a colleague of mine had a nursing student who had a problem being on time. The student's MOTHER told my colleague that these were "children" and that if they needed help getting up in the morning, that should be provided.)

If your AD has an issue with a customer, and you hear about it, the appropriate response is to advise the customer to deal with your AD directly.

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