Golf widow anyone?

I am a bowls widow. He was out bowling three afternoons and two evenings last week. I could go with him if I wanted to but find it a boring game.

He didn't used to know many people in this area (I have lived here much longer) but now he stops to talk to more people than I do when we go to the supermarket.

Bowling has given him a new lease of life since he retired so I am happy for him. Another benefit is that I get on well with one of his fellow bowlers and we meet up occasionally for coffee or lunch.

That sounds great Jane10 but I should have added, he is out the other 6 days as well. Since he retired he has devoted himself to various ventures so he has a busier social life than he ever had when he was working.
No I definitely feel aggrieved as Sundays were the last hope I had for spending family time together.

Same here. DH has always worked long hours and had outside interests in sport some evenings a week and at weekends. I'm just used to it. Now he's 'retired' he set up another business and is out all day again. BTW paddyann he's also involved in vintage car restoration and is away both days this weekend competing in one he restored/rebuilt. I wonder if our DH's know each other?
As none of this is new I've always had my own interests, friends and social stuff. It suits me. We have good holidays and, usually, one day a week on some sort of interesting outing. Best of all- the TV is mine!

My OH has always worked long hours and most weekends so I dont grudge him the hobby time he has now.He can disappear for a whole day on Saturdays an Sundays but he's spending time with like minded folk working on the vintage cars they all love
.Maybe because we never had "weekends" as such when Sunday weddings became the norm it doesn't bother me.I see him every evening which is a bit of a novelty as he'd be either processing and printing or digitally working on weddings .It does help that I am the easiest going person on the planet .

I’d be annoyed but get over the being gone all day

I’d be livid about the expectation that it’s your job to do all the work.

You need to talk with him about that, and perhaps suggest you work together on some chores in five evenings so you can relax on Sunday . I’m sorry he’s being so unfair

well! Thanks everyone. It's nice to know I'm not alone although you all sound as if you have managed happy compromises.
Marydoll we have just had coffee together in the garden and I've had a wee talk about how I feel . I got quite emotional but luckily no-one called the police.
I have phoned all the DC and siblings in turn and actually one answered so I let off some steam with him too.
I feel a lot better now. I think I just needed to vent.

Gramaretto, I can empathise with you.
I used to get very resentful when my children were small (Three under five) and my husband would spend all day Saturday or Sunday golfing. To add insult to injury he would invite his brothers to play (We lived on the coast) and I would be left with the sisters in law and all their weans, who expected to be fed and watered, without as much as bringing a packet of biscuits. We were very short of money in those days, with a 15% mortgage. (Anyone remember that time? ). I had to think of cheap and creative ways to feed them all. The resentment would build up until I would explode and he would accuse ME of being selfish!

Nowaday, I feel the complete opposite. I love when he goes out on a Monday morning and being able to do my own thing, get up when I want, play my music etc. It does us good to have time on our own.

Grammaretto, it looks like you have to have a conversation with your husband about this, as it's obviously upsetting you very much. Please don't let it fester. I wish years ago I had a discussion with my husband and found some sort of compromise.

I do hope you can resolve this situation.

My husband has always worked long hours and it's worked ok with us when children were here and now as we are getting older I just accept it.he does do the football on Saturdays always moaning about his team so I just find something I like to do at these times. Definitely a widow but with the husband still very much alive!

I'm an allotment widow. He leaves every Sunday at 8am and returns at 1.30-2.00pm. In good weather he will go during the week to water as well. I make the most of it. I lie in until 9.00ish. Have a leisurly breakfast and read the papers in peace. Then do some tidying about 12 before he's home

When he was younger he played rugby every week and didn't get home till 10pm approx. Yes it did frustrate me but I would never have tried to stop him and a lot of our social life was connected to the club. Also the good thing about rugby is it's a winter game so we could still enjoy family days in the summer.

I am a sports widow, indoors in the winter and outdoors in summer. Three times a week. Summer includes a Saturday. Getting a weekend away meant me putting my foot down. A holiday was arranged early season as late season would be too busy getting matched played.
Generally I have learned to arrange my coffee and girly lunches to suit. Also if I want to go away for the day with a friend I don't worry if he's got nothing on, after all......what's sauce for the goose etc.

This week I will be gone all of one day. It happens to be a day we have our toddler grandson for childcare. No worries, dh will cope. sometimes he has a match on a day when we've had toddler and I've done it myself. We make it work.

My Dh is a season ticket holder too katy and goes with DS1. I love my Saturdays on my own but I would be cross if dh was missing for the whole day and wouldn't change.

It must be difficult, gramaretto because weekends are likely to be the best ti.e for seeing family.

I have no solution, apart from a heart to heart, and a refusal to do any jobs.

My DH is a season ticket holder for his football team and goes every other Saturday afternoon in the football season. He has been doing this since we met (52 years ago). I don't mind at all, it's only a few hours though. At one time he would not give it up for any family do or anything and I would get annoyed. When I was in hospital having had DD he said 'can you get your mum to visit you on Saturday, I'm going to the match'. He wouldn't do anything like that now, he was very young.