Divorce questions

Do you have a friend who could go to the solicitor with you? When my daughter went to a divorce solicitor she asked me to go with her. I just sat out of the way, didn't say anything but made notes of everything that was said and gave her the notes afterwards.

By the way, I got a divorce without using a solicitor but it was agreed that it was a 50/50 split.

Are both names on the properties ?

I think he's living in cloud cuckoo land Tooyoung.

Your lengthy marriage entitles you to half of everything , that includes, pensions, properties and insurance policies. Everything has a value , goes into the pot and is then divided as I understand it.

That means he may get to keep all his pension but you might get a larger share of the house. He is incorrect in saying you would get nothing from the properties, whether you actually pay the mortgage or not I think if you show you have 'contributed' maybe to upkeep, redecoration etc then you are entitled to a share

I suggest making a list of all your questions and going through them with your solicitor , then coming away and doing your sums. Getting your plans in order prior to telling your husband or anyone else.

Don't waste time and energy wondering.. see a solicitor for information and advice and then deal with the facts..
You will not be penniless... life will be scary and different.. and then it will be better...and you will be free.
Yes you come home to an empty house/flat whatever.. but it will be your space... and you can build the life you want for yourself.
You deserve peace of mindand civility.
So many women stay with these bullies simply through fear of the unknown...
Knowledge is power... be brave... and do it for YOU..

From what you say, it sounds as though you have been living separate lives for some time. As a married couple, your incomes should be pooled. The wife's income should be regarded as 'extra'....I suppose many would regard that as old-fashioned, but it's a husband's duty to take care of his wife.

I'm afraid if you divorce, all assets will be lumped together and then split between you. At least, that's what happened to me.

When you first consult a solicitor, you will need to decide what grounds you are going to plead as the reason for divorce.

Perhaps see Citizens Advice. I do not think he is right to say you're entitled to nothing, particularly after a long marriage.

I suspect you're entitled to half his pension but am not quite sure about this.

Perhaps when he hears how serious you are, he may agree to change a few things. Maybe I'm living in cloud cuckoo land.

I hope things go well for you in the end, one way or another.

I am sorry to hear that you are in this sad situation - it makes sense for you to strike out on your own and find some happiness.

The financial situation is I think a reflection of your marriage - the fact that he is sitting pretty with a large pension and you are struggling indicates that this has stopped being a proper partnership where money and assets are shared to the benefit of both. We had a joint account from day one and all money coming in is regarded as ours, and not belonging to any one individual.

Perhaps make a list of the things that are most important to sort out when you see the solicitor - it is always hard when you come out and think you wish you had asked something that you overlooked. The most important thing is that your joint assets (and they ARE joint) should be shared equally; and that any financial support that he should be giving to you is clarified.

I wish you lots of luck with this new phase of your life - stay strong.