Sinika - it sounds to me as though you baled your daughter out two years ago - you remodelled your house, presumably at some financial cost to yourselves, to provide a private place for her and your grandson. She works three 12 hour shifts but you don't mention whether she pays you any rent for this. Frankly, if she doesn't, then you are colluding with her sloppiness because you've spent money on providing her with her own flat and are still supporting her. This is sending her a message that she can basically do as she wants in 'your' home. If she does pay rent then there's a strong argument that whatever she gets up to in her apartment is her affair. However, dirty laundry all over the floor, dirty plates and left-over food are signals to cockroaches and mice of a welcome environment and as the flat is a basement flat there's an even greater chance of this happening. At the same time, your two year old grandson, while being very nicely mothered by your daughter, is growing up in a sloppy home and this will transfer to his way of thinking. I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking to your daughter about general cleanliness and tidiness and your worry about vermin which will spread throughout the house, and likewise I don't think there's anything wrong with speaking to your husband and telling him that if he is so worried your daughter will leave, then he should use his own pocket money (if he has any) to suggest paying for a cleaner for her for three hours a week.