Lazy son in law

It's so hard being parents and having to work just makes it harder.

Seeing it from your daughter view point.
You are lucky if you get hubby to do housework especially if he never had to do it when at home with his parent.
The thing is you can't tell a man what to do, hes' an adult and will not appreciate it. You have to try other ways to get him to comply and sometimes it's just not possible.

Working mums need help this usually comes from family or paying someone to help like a cleaner etc.
There maybe no money for a cleaner, you could perhaps help if that is possible or pay for someone to come round once a week.
If you don't work and live near you could help with other jobs in the house.
Just try and help around what works for the couple.
My own daughter is on maternity leave, goes back to work next month, she employs a cleaner once a week but she is still very busy with two children. Never seems to stop and she's not back at work yet. We don't live close so cannot help.
Best of luck

So sorry about this gagsville. IMO, the biggest problem for you is that DD is telling you too much about her rows w/ SIL. It's hard for a mum to hold back and not try to help when he AC keeps unloading on her. Yet, I know you don't want to close your ears to DD or tell her she can't vent to you. It's a difficult position to be in and again, I'm so sorry.

It sounds to me as if the cleaner might help. But I would ask DD about it first. The next time she complains, just tell you're willing to do this if you decide you are.

Also, if/when she gripes, you could suggest Relate. Or ask her if she has thought about it. But that's all. After that, it's up to her/them.

Even if she says no to these ideas, at first, she may think it over and change her mind. But, IMO, you can only mention each of them once. Then step back and let them work this out themselves.

And, of course, be as loving and reassuring to your GC as you can (you're probably already doing that.)

I have this same issue with my daughter and her boyfriend - though thankfully there are no children yet in the mix. She works full time then comes home and does most, if not all of the cleaning. Of course I'm outraged. He ought to be helping her. And I don't buy this BS about this being just how men are - if men haven't been raised to help out in the house, or to take criticism, if they need to be "got around" and manipulated then that's a fault in their rearing, not in their gender. I've met plenty of men capable of having a discussion without manipulation, and capable of carrying their share of the chores and the bills, the physical and emotional load.

I want to interfere. Of course I do. That's my kiddo, and I love her, but I can't. This is a lesson she has to learn on her own. Instead I'm always around when she needs to vent. If she asks my advice, I remind her that she deserves an equal partnership - but mostly, I listen. It's hard, but since when has been being a parent easy? Thankfully, too, my daughter is fairly young yet. She has time to make mistakes and learn from them. I have to admit, if this is still going on ten years from now.. it will be a lot harder to sit and not inerfere.