Am I a prude?

Like others I agree there is no 'normal' here, just what you are comfortable or not with.
I don't particularly have a problem with porn provided its adult and non abusive, however its not for me or my husband.
Go with your instincts onaclearday

Grandad1943

In your initial post, you say:-

“....such online sites degrade the gender of women...”

which led me to think you had visited some porn sites.

As to my attitude to men, some of my best friends are men, both homosexual and heterosexual, including my husband and my ex-husband. In fact, in many respects, far from finding them despicable, I prefer the company of most men.

Did you mean aspersions rather than aspirations?

I too doubt the statement that all men watch porn. My husband doesn't, nor did my father or my uncles.

My advice is the same as most other peoples' if the thought of this man watching porn makes you uncomfortable, which I fully understand, then you can be friends, but obviously not lovers. Or at least you might be able to be friends. It does depend on what kind of porn he enjoys.

As a 'woman of the world', who has been around the block a few times, in my own experience, I find that the majority of men do look at and use some porn at some point in their lives, If it's straightforward porn , then I have no problem with it, anything of a degrading nature or extreme, then it's a resounding no from me.

At least this guy is being honest and open with you, better that way than finding a secret stash

ashcombe it may be better to focus on the discussion, and to offer help and advice to the OP rather than nit pick on other people's spellings or typos. My DH does not used porn, but I had an ex who did, and it made me uncomfortable, I don't think that 'all men' use porn, anymore than I think 'all women' dislike it or are prudes; it is to your friend's credit that he has discussed this with you onaclearday, better than finding out further along in the relationship. Maybe you just need to have an upfront and open discussion about this, he seems to be the kind of person who is quite open about such matters. Personally, I wouldn't continue with this relationship, but this is a decision that only you can make. Good luck, and I hope that the helpful suggestions and advice on here have been of assistance.

GillT57

My initial post did exactly that!

Ashcombe Quote [Grandad1943, In your initial post, you say:-
“....such online sites degrade the gender of women...”] End Quote.

Ashcombe, no one need visit online porn sites or read such magazines to know how that material degrades the gender of women and in many ways also the gender of men.

Therefore how my above post comment could have brought you to the conclusion that I in any way visited such sites or read such material is very much beyond me.

Indeed the last time I did see the content of any online porn site was when I took the disciplinary hearing against the member of our staff that I mentioned in my post @9:35 today.

Therefore Ashcombe I believe you place a far too wide an interpretation on what you read especially when you place such a wrong interpretation on a open public forum to the detriment of the person you are referring too.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ashcombe, do you send this link to everyone who makes a typo or spelling mistake? What about someone with dyslexia? Maybe you should just pop across to Pedants' corner where your petty comments may be appreciated.

Ashcombe - I think sites like Grammarly are for people writing serious stuff, not casual posts on a forum.

Remember, men continue to produce sperm throughout their lives so have a greater need for release than many women in the autumn of their years
Ashcombe; Well! I continue to live and learn! I'm 92½ (note the ½ )- every sperm ½ counts these days!
So what happens in the Winter of our years? Does the extra pressure cause them to explode?
I guess mine must be good stuff after all these years; the hot climate here in OZ must have something to do with it; analogous to long-life UHT milk, but I don't think I'll be "releasing" it into my tea anytime soon!
OoRoo

Ashcombe, I believe your above posts demonstrate just what sort of a person you are for all on this forum to witness.

By the way, I have suffered from a mild form of dyslexia throughout my entire life. That has never deterred me from carrying out whatever I wished to accomplish in that life. On that journey, I have often come across and overcome persons such as yourself.

I hope therefore you feel proud of yourself and your activity on this site today.

To quote Edith Piaf, “Non, je regrette rien.”

No point being able to spell well if you're rude and patronising.

Rufus2: Ha ha, I laughed out loud at that!

OP you say you the man you have met is a lovely, caring,kind person? So presumably being kind and caring he will take your views on porn on board? Personally I do not feel soft porn is anything to get worried about. Obviously only you know your limits so if you find it totally unacceptable then you will finish this relationship. On the other hand, you may find it erm 'interesting' !

To quote Edith Piaf, “Non, je regrette rien.”
Ashcombe; Sorry to see you've had a post dumped! ;some rotter reported it I assume, before we'd had chance to read it!?
Anyway, although you regret nothing, have a go at this

"I Apologize"
Timi Yuro
If I told a lie, if I made you cry
When I said goodbye, I'm sorry
From the bottom of my heart, dear
I apologize
If I caused you pain, I know I'm to blame
Must have been insane, believe me
From the bottom of my heart, dear
I apologize
I realize I've been unfair to you
Please let me make amends
After all, we were more than friends etc.

I use it often to keep the peace!
Cheers
OoRoo

Oops! Mustn't forget to remember!


OoRoo

Thanks, Rufus 2.

It seems that one mustn’t make suggestions on this forum to help people improve their written English, for fear of causing offence.

Depends what exactly he watches.
I find it extremely odd that he discusses with his children but I'm a bit of a prude in that respect.

It would appear we have another GG54 on GN.

No way do all men or women view porn. Yes, some may have a fleeting glance at some time to see what it's all about but then that's it, a fleeting glance. Sorry but you feel uncomfortable with this admission which may well be a hint of his future expectations should your relationship progress physically. Definitely not my cup of tea.

Growing up I remember finding pin up magazines under my dads bed and thinking the ladies were quite pretty! However I hear that today’s porn is probably a world away from these fairly harmless magazines. My husband doesn’t use porn but did look at mags like these when younger.
It does seem a strange thing to discuss with your children though!
I think as the other grans have said, if you are not comfortable, go with your gut instinct. It doesn’t make you a prude, just that you have your own opinions and feelings.

I'm not sure I know what a prude.

is.

Not all porn is 'degrading ' to women. There are some female producers of porn who make films for women. From a women's perspective.
If YOU are not comfortable with the man you're seeing entertaining himself in his own environment then maybe he is not the man for you.
It seems a shame though if he is otherwise someone who is agreeable to you, someone you get on well with.
It may appear odd to you that he has discussed porn with his children. I don't think that's odd. In today's society being open about such topics stops it being taboo, which hopefully WILL improve the treatment of the actors who choose to appear in the films.