Would love to find a partner

I've been alone for 20 years and have always wished I could have found true love. Sadly I've been unlucky, the men I've met were selfish and unreliable. So at 69 its not looking hopeful for me, but that doesn't mean there is no hope for you. I would say, join what you can, maybe U3A or voluntary work, or maybe there are clubs you don't know about. Online dating works out for some but that can be very uphill and disappointing more often than not. It is worth a go but as my mum used to say, take your time and be careful. Good luck.

Good luck xx

I am so stupid I actually forgot to add that if it’s what you want then give it a go for sure and good luck. ?

Would really recommend joining a walking group, voluntary work, U3A, Art class, hospital voluntary work, etc. My friend met her second husband after being widowed for a few years at a hospice voluntary group and they were very happy together. Afraid he passed on as well but friend certainly would love another husband.
Yes, try online dating but be careful and make it clear what you what from the relationship/friendship. Good luck!

Im with you Hetty 58.The independance is not worth giving up

I was on my own for 6 years after 2 failed marriages. Don't know why but l suddenly decided l would like some male company again. I have been on 3 different dating sites. One chap l spent weekends with him then l had the rest of the week to myself. I've had a few dates. Drinks a meal a walk in the countryside. For just over a yearl saw another man. We spent alternate weekends with one another . We did so much together. But he started to get jealous of other people l spent time w ith . So it ended. I enjoy being on my own most of the time but it is nice to have someone to share things with. Also it's a great help with jobs around the house it's nice to have someone to turn to for help or advice.

I would also love a companion. I don't think I could live with someone though and my narrow boat is definitely too small for 2 people. Before you try online dating again do watch the BBC series (5 programmes ) called For Love or Money. You will find it on iPlayer. It is about scammers on dating sites.

My friend met her lovely DH online - she is 60, very overweight and has a daughter in her 20’s but the daughter has a lot of issues and so is still quite needy if her time.
He new DH that she met online was found after kissing 5 or 6 frogs, but her prince he is. Much nicer than her last husband, he’s a gentle kind widower with just such a lovely disposition - AND he’s handsome.
So it can happen but yes, you may well have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.

Forgot to say - I mentioned the weight issue and her daughter as she thought these issues would be a barrier to her finding live again - not at all.

Be open minded, wary, but not too picky...sometimes they grow on you...As my mum would say - every man has a patch on his trousers - just find one whose patch is small and rarely shows.

Thank you for all your posts - so much food for thought. I do already have a dog (and met a nice man in the park not long ago but ultimately I didn’t feel a spark). I akso work (in a GP practice) but my colleagues are nearly all women!

I don’t agree when people say the internet is a dodgy place to meet people. I’ve done internet dating before and the people who do it are the same as those you might meet in other ways. Even young people use it as a way to meet a partner these days. However it’s good to hear from those of you who are contentedly single - I know it’s possible but at the moment I seem to have lost that feeling of being ok on my own. My only child went to uni just over a year ago so maybe it’s something to do with having an empty nest.

My mum was widowed at the age of 45y. She married again at the age of 60y to a lovely man who worked in the same (very large) organisation. They were married for 25y until she died last year. My ‘second dad’ is now 87y and well loved by our family.

As mum said at the time ‘when you’re not looking ....’

Good luck MT ☘️

I met my now husband (9 years married) on a dating website. My sister-in-law put me up to it, I joined for a 7 day trial and he was the only person I met up with. He is the kindest, sweetest man and I absolutely love him to bits. Life has thrown us some curve balls and it hasn’t always been easy; but it’s so much easier with your best friend at your side. Obviously you have to be a bit wary of internet dating and there are some utter creeps on there who are just after one thing, but there are some sweethearts like my lovely husband too. Good luck ?

I agree with what your mum said ,Urmstongran.
I definitely wasn’t looking nearly 20 years ago when I met my husband.
We would never have met on a dating site because we have not a great deal in common.
It works though.
Chalk and cheese.

I’ve been divorced twice, then had another 5 year relationship that I also had to end. No:1 was a controller, No:2 turned to drink when his Co collapsed and became a monster, and 5 year man turned out to be a secret drinker. I would love to meet someone, but I’ve never found a man who gives me support or peace in my life, and I don’t think I’ve got the energy left to put into another man. I’ve 3 amazing AC, I adore all their partners and I’ve 5 amazing GC plus a wealth of long term friends. My life is full of love and laughter, but mostly peace, no mind games or issues to put up with. I don’t fancy online dating, because of all the horror stories I’ve read, but if I met someone thro my numerous singles holidays, or nights out with friends etc I think I might give it a go. However, maybe I’d have a low tolerance level now because of past experiences. I’m mid 60’s and I do know that if I never find a decent man, at least I’m surrounded with love, peace and support anyway.

I received a "friend's request" on facebook, we have a mutual friend. I accepted & we started chatting & messaging. This progressed to phone calls & 5 months ago we managed to meet face to face on neutral ground. We hit it off immediately, main problem is we live almost 300 miles apart, we've met many times over the summer/autumn.

Both of us value our independence & have agreed we could not live together. I love my independence & my own company but also enjoy the benefit of going out & about with a man, & yes the cuddles are welcome.

I have been married 3 times, my last & longest marriage was very happy, I have been widowed nearly 7 years. I wasn't looking for any type of relationship when we met so it did surprise me that I have found a man I want to share some of my life with.

I agree with others joining groups you are interested in can bring new friends & possible relationships, go for it, whatever you decide, I'm 64 but am the happiest I've been since my darling H died.

You must go for it ! I was widowed at 48 but a couple of years later realised I did not want to be alone for the rest of my life. Dating sites are fine if you are prepared to pay and the reason I say this is that although not 100 % certain , if a man is on a paying site it will show up on bank/credit card statement so not usually the place for married men or players ? good luck ?

After my husband died I eventually tried on line dating. I'm not the type to go pubbing or clubbing and I was aware that there are some crazy people out there but to be honest, after tweaking my "profile" as a result of the responses I received, I had lots of really nice men to chat to.
One of them is now my partner and I hope, for a very long time.
Anyone who wants advice on OLD (on line dating) feel free to PM me.

Now 72 and after being widowed for the second time, I joined a dating site and met a lovely man, whom I married in 2014. We are very happy together. Yes, dating sites WILL have men who are not being honest about the details they supply, including their motives for wanting to meet someone. Be sensible in your choices - I always "Skyped" people, so that you could see them in person, talked and chatted for some time before agreeing to meet up. Take sensible precautions, and you may well meet someone you are happy to partner with. I stressed in my profile that I was looking for friendship (which was the truth) and it worked out well for me.

Hi. I was widowed very suddenly at 52. Had no intention of looking or wanting another husband. However 8 years later I was introduced by a friend to a man also widowed. We enjoyed several years of friendship and getting to know each other and in 2003 eventually married. I know I have been very lucky as I’ve had two wonderful caring men in my life and would say to the poster go for it. Hope you meet someone to enjoy the rest of your life with

Go for it. I found love again at 62. There are various dating sites for over 50s or 60s so I would go for those. Good luck!

I have been on my own for over twenty years after my husband died. A few years ago I tried on line dating but gave up after two possible dates talked solely about their ex and how badly they had been treated by them and the third clearly hadn't read my profile as he was away every weekend in his caravan, something I couldn't do as I look after my grandchildren on a daily basis since my DD became a single parent so she can work full time to support them. I do miss having someone to chat to in the evenings, go places with and the like. As another poster has said it is harder to find someone as you get older as men tend to pass away younger than women do, and I am not sure that someone who has never had a long term relationship would be able to accept my commitment to my grandchildren and DD either. I do go out - I volunteer for a local charity and am a Trustee now as well, it is the day to day closeness of having a partner I miss really.

I am on my 2nd marriage, married in our 50's but we friends for many many years. If I was ever on key own now I wouldn't touch online dating| I would be happy on my own or hope to meet someone through an interest. Today I was out Mr B cycling, we stopped at a bikers cafe for cake and coffee, he then went off for a short while to look at bikes and 4 older men came in on a day out, we got talking and they invited me to join them on their bike ride. This has happened before and I think its the way to go if you are looking for friends or more from the op[osite sex. Maybe dancing ..Le Roc.. could be a pathway.

When I split from my ex husband in 2004 I tried online dating sites. I came across lots of sleazy people who were clearly only after one thing and in the end I stopped looking. There was one decent guy who wanted to meet up but I hesitated. When I decided to go for it and suggested a meet he'd met someone else so said it wouldn't be right - the one that got away!
I've now realised like many other posters that I like the freedom of being single, especially now my adult children have both left home. They both live a long way away and though I love it when they come to visit, after a short while I miss my own space so I'm content as I am. I'd have to fall head over heels in love with someone to give that up.
My mum was a widow for longer than she was happily married (24 years) as my dad died in his fifties. She always said she probably wouldn't marry again as she'd never find anyone as good as him. She lived as a widow for another 36 years. She had a busy life, did a lot of volunteering and was a member of U3A and a church. I don't think she was lonely - if she was she didn't complain. Like her I have many friends, mostly through my church, from volunteering and from singing in a choir. Most of the single men I meet are much younger than me (I'm 65) so I don't really expect to find Mr Right but I have a male friend who is good company and will help with jobs in the garden if I ask. We go to quiz nights occasionally and generally have a laugh together but it would never develop into anything more.
I think when the last child moves out the empty nest thing can hit a bit, but better to be alone than with the wrong man. I had been dreading that stage when I was still married as I realised we had very little to say to each other apart from stuff about the kids. In the end he traded me in for a younger model before the kids left which was probably for the best. Once I got over the shock it was a relief to not have to keep trying to make things work.
If you want companionship by all means give it a go but life on your own can be perfectly fulfilling and the freedom would be hard to give up for me.

I am in exactly the same position - same age and same time on my own. I feel exactly as you do - if it works, do post how you did it!!