Here goes. I have tried writing this so many times. Trying to keep it short and concise. Everytime I think I have it right , the goal posts get shifted. This time someone has thrown them out of the ground. My DD is beautiful, outside and even more so inside. For complicated reasons the man she truly loved (still loves) and who loved (and still loves) her made a catastrophic error of judgement and they are not together. All my DD wants is what her dad and I, her two sisters, and all her friends have. ie, an ideal partner , a nice home and children. Finally she met and married R. He is a lovely man. But totally wrong for her. If there was anything majorly wrong it would be easier. But he is a good man. He doesn't drink, gamble, lie, cheat, shout, bully or any of the big "no nos". But he has no drive, no ambition, no animation, no "oomph". He has little sense of humour. Is a bit dour. The only thing he is serious about is not spending money and no debts. He lived with his parents until he met DDand moved into the little house she has bought. His office job is poorly paid and he has no interest in bettering it. My DD earns way more than him so is trapped in her stressful job. He makes few decisions and is not remotely pro active in their lives. Despite that he is a truly lovely man. All would have survived had the longed for baby arrived. But it didn't. Tests proved his sperm count was low and quality poor. IVF followed. He went along with it, but did no research, read no books, asked no questions. Two goes failed. DD put off trying again. Said she wasn't ready. Later admitted doubts about her future with SiL. Long discussions. At Christmas I really expected her alone with her suitcase. No. It was them with positive pregnancy test. About four weeks. TBH I wasnt sure how I felt, and even less sure about how she felt. But they were obviously making a go of it and SiL was really proactive and keen. A new him!. Today. Tragedy. Following a car bump ( a man on his phone bumped into back of DD) she went to hospital to be checked. Turns out the baby is no more. Not because of bump, it had died a couple of weeks ago. My daughter has to go back to get it all"taken away". We are all bereft. My DD is utterly distraught. Nothing ever goes right for her, despite being the loveliest person you could ever meet. Thank you if you have stayed with me. I know there is no advice you can give. I just want your loving arms around me to help me guide her through this.
