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Mother and friend over lockdown and visiting

(75 Posts)
mrsgreenfingers56 Wed 22-Apr-20 18:19:10

My mother is 89 and has a gentleman friend of 94 who lives in the same street. They visit each other every day and haven't stopped during lockdown. I have tried to tell both of them they shouldn't be visiting and feel mean saying that due to their ages and no family visiting like myself. But I know they should be staying apart. They both tell me they are well and not having contact with anyone else and mum's friend of 94 tells me my mum cheers his day up. And visa versus. They are both fed up (like everyone else) that they can't go to church, their little coffee mornings, W.I. men's groups etc and I fully understand but feel they are breaking the rules and don't like to push any harder than I do.

Comments please would be appreciated. What would you do if this was your mum and friend? Thanks.

Jishere Sat 25-Apr-20 11:27:09

Listen they are in it together regardless that they live separately. So good luck to them. Let them be and be happy that your mum has found happiness.

icanhandthemback Sat 25-Apr-20 11:27:45

Isn't it strange how the consensus is to let them carry on without any judgment whatsoever but when it is the neighbours with their family, it causes great pearl clutching. Yet, for all we know, the neighbours may not be having contact with anybody else either. Maybe we should be like this across the board rather than having outraged posts.
Incidentally, as long as your Mum and her friend know the risks and don't risk others, they should be masters of their own destinies. There's absolutely no point in living a long but miserable life.

AllatSea48 Sat 25-Apr-20 11:36:17

Stop worrying about them and let them be! Totally agree with Gwenisgreat1.
Be happy for them they've such a great relationship! And fast forward yourself to your Mum's age in similar circumstances. Would you really want your daughter to stop you seeing the person who gives you the most motivation for enjoying what life you have left when all the other small pleasures, coffee mornings, church etc have been stopped?

Polly4t42 Sat 25-Apr-20 11:47:53

Am happy for them, let them continue with your blessing.

Florida12 Sat 25-Apr-20 11:50:55

If they are the only people going in each other’s houses, then I would just let them get on with it.
It is beneficial to both their mental wellbeing

sarahellenwhitney Sat 25-Apr-20 12:04:55

mrsgreenfingerseen56
They have no contact with anyone else ?Are you sure about that.? What about shopping etc etc etc etc etc ???????

live7 Sat 25-Apr-20 13:22:35

How lovely to have someone to share this time with. Lots of people I know are doing this sort of thing...including a single person who lives elsewhere as part of their family, who doesn't mix with another family group at all. Seems very sensible to me.

EmilyHarburn Sat 25-Apr-20 13:36:29

Shielding measures to take - Please note it says stay at home not stay in your house. Your home may be a flat or it may be a boar, or it mabe a house with a garden. If you have a garden I understand it is a part of your home. The government has not told high risk people not to leave their house.

How to protect yourself if you're at very high risk
It's currently recommended you follow this advice until at least the end of June 2020.

Do
stay at home at all times – do not leave your home to buy food, collect medicine or exercise

stay at least 2 metres (3 steps) away from other people in your home as much as possible

get food and medicine delivered and left outside your door – ask friends and family to help or register to get coronavirus support on GOV.UK if you need it

prepare a hospital bag, including a list of the medicines you're taking, in case you need to go into hospital

wash your hands with soap and water often – do this for at least 20 seconds

make sure anyone who comes into your home washes their hands with soap and water for 20 seconds

use hand sanitiser gel if soap and water are not available

clean objects and surfaces you touch often (such as door handles, kettles and phones) using your regular cleaning products

clean a shared bathroom each time you use it, for example by wiping the surfaces you have touched

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/people-at-higher-risk-from-coronavirus/if-youre-at-very-high-risk-from-coronavirus/

4allweknow Sat 25-Apr-20 13:49:50

Let them continue as long as there is absolutely no contact from outside. Take it they receive supplies via home delivery.

sarahanew Sat 25-Apr-20 15:31:54

They are breaking the rules, but at their age I think I would be too!

TrendyNannie6 Sat 25-Apr-20 15:38:15

I wouldn’t interfere

ValerieF Sat 25-Apr-20 15:52:30

Am so pleased to read common sense has taken over on this thread and everyone is in agreement for once.

Good luck to the 'happy' couple.

dogsmother Sat 25-Apr-20 15:56:41

My view is that they are basically an item.
that they choose to spend a massive chunk of the day apart in separate rooms of separate houses ...who could argue with that...

Sussexborn Sat 25-Apr-20 16:05:13

Polnan. People nursing dementia patients aren’t going to be infected by it.

In this case there isn’t a problem as they are no different to a couple living together. Lovely to find a companion at their stage of life.

Sgilley Sat 25-Apr-20 16:22:11

If they both live alone and don’t have other visitors to their homes. Leave them to it.

3nanny6 Sat 25-Apr-20 16:41:30

They are 89 and 94 and they make each others day more cheerful when they are together. Stop telling them off and allow them their happiness who knows how long they might have in this life with or without covid19.

seadragon Sat 25-Apr-20 18:45:02

Perhaps they could move in together....?

fluttERBY123 Sat 25-Apr-20 18:54:54

Imagine they are living together in a big house, and the road is a long corridor. Thats what I saw when I read the post. They are a self isolating couple.

ALANaV Sat 25-Apr-20 19:18:18

Good for them …..it is their life !

jerseygirl Sat 25-Apr-20 20:04:24

Aww, i would leave them to it as well

Helennonotion Sat 25-Apr-20 20:27:23

Lovely! This has made me smile. Good luck to them both. I hope, if I'm lucky enough to reach 89, I have a gentlemen friend too. grin wink

Sophrosyne Sat 25-Apr-20 21:24:05

They will be bringing each other comfort in these difficult times and they are not alone- this is from March this year www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-52104955

Blinko Sun 26-Apr-20 15:44:27

We have two friends who are doing the same. They live alone separately but see each other a couple of times a week. They aren't hurting anyone else and are cheering up each other's lives. Who's to tell the lockdown police? Not me.

yggdrasil Sun 26-Apr-20 17:18:08

I have a partner in a different house. We have stayed apart till now, but last week I had to go into hospital as a day case, and needed transport and a place to convalesce. So I stayed with him. Now I see no reason why he and I can't get together sometimes. I am home now and ok