Racist friends

Isn't the term "mixed race" racist, now?
I'm not sure who decides these things.

Because ALL LIVES MATTER does not address the fact (fact please note, not an opinion) that black people are far more likely to die at the hands of the authorities than white people.

And that those that murder black people are far more likely to fail to be held to account than if they'd murdered a white person.

JenniferEccles your comment about the lady’s hair and a earlier comment about children not being racist reminds me of my daughter telling me about the new child in her class. Miss xxx says we mustn’t keep touching Ellie’s hair because it’s racist. That was 30 years ago.
My MIL who lived in Liverpool said, “all the mini markets round here are run by Pakistanis. She was stating a fact, but it could well be seen as a racist comment.
Look at the pictures and see how easy it is to be racist.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202006/medium-408327-d12dbef5-6228-440a-a935-be2d188400c8.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202006/medium-257796-d5396680-6083-4902-95f9-57abafc05629.png

Sorry, pictures weren’t added.

Educate them!

the slogan,,, black lives matter, really worries me,,, surely it should be ,,,, all lives matter

Unfortunately though people can make assumptions as they like.

You can't police people's thoughts.

I have two beautiful grandchildren but who are not the same colour as me and I don't see it as a big deal. I do, however, have an issue with the slogan BLM as I think it's emphasising discrimination. In my opinion, the slogan should be ALM, All Lives Matter!

Sorry, Earnshaw, didn't read your post properly

Please please don't keep repeating this 'all lives matter' statement. Of course all lives matter but in our society, tragically black lives matter less, this is what must change so that all lives matter equally.

You are splitting hairs Lemongrove our friends may well be xenophobic but trust me they are racist!

Tedd1, I too have grandchildren who are a different colour to me and to my other grandchildren, my depth of love for all of them is the same but they are all living very different lives because of their colour. I have posted on other threads that my beautiful Asian daughter in law, and her daughter, my granddaughter suffer from hateful racial abuse to such an extent that my lovely, gentle, intelligent and thoughtful granddaughter came close to suicide after being pushed to the ground, having dirt rubbed in her face while being told to go back to where she came from. Heart breaking.

Exactly Peardrop50.

Black Lives Matter is seeking equality. People of other colours are welcome if they are seeking equality for all.

MissAdventure, I always used to describe my children as mixed race and none of us felt bad about it. I think it has gone out of fashion now. I know some people say "dual heritage", which I think is quite nice and tend to use in writing. I just feel a bit pretentious when saying it.

Regarding the OP's dilemma, I think it is hard to feel the same about people when you know they are racist. It just changes the way you feel about them. It also means that you are on edge in case they say something offensive, and you're willing them not to. Either you compromise your principles or you have a big row. Not good, either way.

It's more complicated when it is people you love. My grandmother was a sweet old lady but an outright racist. My sister and I used to have fierce arguments with her, which achieved nothing but hurt all round. She was born in the Victorian age and nothing would change her attitude. I loved her but I hated her prejudice. My mum's sister, my beloved aunt, was also very prejudiced. I loved her too and couldn't understand how such a kind person was such a bigot. We thought that she would react very badly to the news that my boyfriend was Indian. We braced ourselves for arguments but she adored him!

She rationalised these conflicting opinions by saying he was "a cut about the average." The truth was that he was the only non-white person she really got to know.

Confronting racism is very stressful. Some people are in your life for good and all you can do is debate with them. Some you can live without - in that case, ditch them. Do you really want to be mates with someone who believes that some people are inferior by birth?

I am in despair at the number of people here on GN who keep spouting the ‘all lives matter’ mantra! ??

I’m struggling too Gagajo.

I don’t even know what the definition of a racist is . Because of this I am reading Blindspot by M Banarji and I am slowly getting it . I would recommend this book and the tests which throw some light on this.

I don’t think giving up friends whose ideas differ from yours is productive unless they are abusive . But then they wouldn’t be your friends, would they ?

I’ve had very little personal experience of racism so I think reading threads like this one does help understanding. Thank you for starting it.

P.S. If so many of us get confused over Black Lives Matter is it a good slogan ?

The unspoken part of Black Lives Matter is "although they are treated as worthless" or "even though society thinks they don't."

All lives matter but white lives aren't threatened by racism. No-one's going to kneel on your neck.

I think the unspoken part is the most important.
I'm not sure BLM gets the message across as it's meant to be taken.

Two thirds of people put into neck restraints in Minnesota in 2020 were black.

One third was not.

Common technique for restraint, by all accounts.

I'm not sure if someone unconscious needs restraint.

Far North I never mentioned slogans. I stated a fact.

Gagajo just wondering if you are actually an American gransnetter? Also black NHS staff are more likely to contract and die of Corona than white NHS staff. But that didn't seem to bother those protesting that Black lives matter at the weekend.

misadventure having watched the video of Floyd's death , it certainly looks as though pressure to the neck continued to be applied after Floyd became unconscious.

Awful, isn't it?