Do women worry over adult children more than men do?

I have noticed that the tables are turning but I don't want them to worry about us.

I totally agree about 'reading between the lines'. I could see that things weren't right in my daughter's marriage a whole year before it ended. When I spoke to my husband about my fears he made it clear that he thought I was talking rubbish.

Most women are worriers, they worry about worrying, it they haven't got any they invent something. Not just family, donkeys, environment, health, politics and a whole lot more, some men do as well.
Men are much more focused on work or whatever activity they are involved in, men should have more concern for others but I dont think many will change.

I'm the same as you annodomini I haven't got the worrying gene. I'm the opposite and I tend to think everything will be ok. My DH worries about things that would never occur to me and my positive attitude drives him mad. I say to him that I wouldn't like to be inside his head! He worries about our kids & grandkids all the time. I just think if there's a problem then worrying is justified, but why worry about what might happen? That's just futile as you have no control over it anyway. However I realise if you're a worrier you can't help it. It's just part of your make up. Take comfort in the fact though that nine times out of ten everything usually works out to be fine.

It all depends upon your personality, I believe. I don't worry unduly about my family.

I've never been a worrier and I'm very thankful for that - as it takes so much energy and makes no difference, unless it drives action and change.

@pinkcakes, I too have adult sons I would love to see settled into loving relationship. One is 33 and other 25, both live at home in loft extension. They have enormous rooms with sofa, fridge, kettle etc and Sky sport and cinema in their rooms. My dh says it is my own fault for making them too comfortable. I worry about my dd who is losing her job due to Covid. She will get 8 years redundancy but there do not seem many jobs out there. My dh says if she can't get s new job and struggles to pay mortgage she will ask for help, but I worry and have sleep loss she won't ask and will scrimp on food and heating in the winter rather than ask for help. She and Dil are independent and have never asked us for anything but do accept a little help with nursery fees costs. DH days worrying is part of my DNA and if I had nothing to worry over I would find something.

I would say that "it depends". On the man, on the AC, and on the particular circumstances.....

Idk who wrote it but quite like the quote:

“Worry is stupid. It’s like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain”

My dh like a lot of men thinks more logically. So if it’s not going to rain no need to take the brolly. Whereas I would take it just in case maybe because I am more imaginative. Having said that although he doesn’t show it much he does worry about our grown up adult children but usually there’s some fact such as a dark wet night when eldest daughter is driving 50 miles to a class after working all day.

If i have nothing to worry about,i worry about that.

It’s difficult because when adult children share problems they are having I feel drawn in so when it’s resolved I still feel affected. I would rather step back and let them resolve things themselves

It becomes a whole different ball game when he has grown up children and so do I - second marriage. But then I worry about his childrens attitude to him, and to me, and I worry about my 3 and their problems too...

I worry about mine all the time. I’ve given up sharing my worried with husband because I get no response. My daughter gets annoyed with me but I ll never change.

Yes me too crazyH?. I wish I didn't worry so much and could get on with my own life like people advise.
I also worry that my worrying is actually a need to control....which is worrying!?

I worry in a general way but I always want to solve things. Dh worries to but in a more laid back way.

I hate the thought of them worrying about us too but they have a 'Siblings' WhatsApp group where they hide things and worries from us!

Yes Ellie Ann, my daughter thinks me odd and afterctelling me and everyone else in no uncertain terms has now stopped all contact, even with my little grandchildren after 10 years of sharing their lives. So I have no idea how any if them are.
My son understand that I over fuss, he pulls me up sometimes but is patient and tolerant for which I am grateful.
I do obsess... and I worry about that too!

There's a quote- don't know where from, that you are only as happy as your least happy child. It certainly resonates with me and a number of my friends too.

MarieEliza I agree with you as when you are involved you naturally take on responsibility for the outcome.

Babsbada, this is absolutely true.

DanniRae I could see that things weren't right in my daughter's marriage a whole year before it ended

Me too with my daughter, DannieRae. I could see it on their wedding day but could do nothing but hope things would work out. They didn't.

My husband is the biggest worrier ever. He wasnt like that when they lived at home.

If it’s us, yes. Or...my anxiety is greater. I know he does worry too, but not on the same scale. I go into overdrive, and I also feel the need to fix everything, and sometimes guilt! As if it’s my fault. But then I do suffer from anxiety.

If my children, grandchildren are healthy and happy, I am, I think my husband worries but doesn't show it. My mum is 89 and she worries about the whole family.My dad probably does too.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I think so because they don't have the same maternal instinct .

60 miles seems great to me. Mine are in Australia