Do women worry over adult children more than men do?

Yes Nvella, it was exactly the same for me. Never knew how he managed to sleep!.

In my experience, yes. My husbands response to my worries is either a) what are you going to do about it ? or b) you cant live their life for them. If there really is something to worry about eg If they ate in hospital he worries too, but not about my imagined this or that might happen.

I think most of us Mothers worry about our children, regardless of their age.

Nvella. Me too I hated that phase, I seemed to stop worrying so much when they left home . My husband is a worrier but won’t talk about it just turns quiet, which is infuriating, then when i ask him what’s wrong he just says I’m fine grrrr ?

I remember when my sons were teenagers and off clubbing I could never sleep until they were home and lay awake waiting for A&E /police to ring (!). Meanwhile my husband slumbered blissfully next to me. Drove me mad!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I can't be the only mother of adults who doesn't worry about them. I keep seeing, on Gransnet for example, that people "never stop worrying" about their offspring even when they've grown up and are living independent lives. I have not found this at all.

If there's something to worry about I can worry with the best but ordinary, everyday.... nah. They're all awesome in their individual ways. Why would I worry?

An occasional glass of vino helps cupcake1

Greeneyedgirl I am going to take a leaf out of your book and try to control my anxieties or at least some of them! Does that include taking a ‘chill pill’

I read an article some years ago expounding that more often than not our worries turn out to be unfounded. I now try and establish whether there is anything to be gained or if there is a solution. If not I put things out of my mind.

I used to be a serious worrier even as a child. When my mum was making up the fire in the dining room I worked out where us children would be distributed if she fell in the fire and was burned to death!! ? ? Naturally I was going to live with my favourite older cousin!

cupcake1 I don’t think it is too late to train yourself to worry less, at least I am aiming to do so. I learnt to worry as a child because my mother was, and still is, a champion worrier, and she is almost 96!

I am in old age at last realising the fruitlessness and negative mindset that it causes and becoming better at observing the ‘worry thoughts’ which habitually spring into my head for what they are.

I think the Mars & Venus theory has been discredited by some neuroscientists, but early influence and genes of course do play a part.

I honestly don't know if men worry more than women because judging from the men I have known best, my DH and my late father, men don't tell their womenfolk if they are worrying about anything.

When something does go wrong they may admit that the situation had worried them for a long time.

A lot of women, ME and lots of others, worry in advance.

My chiropractor has a notice up in her bathroom:

"Worrying is like a rocking-chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere."

I am the world’s worst worrier over my DAC and DGC. Wish I wasn’t and it can be all consuming at times which is ridiculous! I know it’s pointless when there is nothing I can do about it but it’s to late to ‘train’ myself to be any different. DH on the other hand is the practical one if he can help he will but there is no way he worries about anything. If he does he hides it well from me ! “Women are from Venus men are from Mars” !

My husband says I worry enough for both of us. He does worry about things, but not to the extent that I do. I've never known him to lose sleep over anything, apart from when he was on strike for a year.

60 miles seems great to me. Mine are in Australia

I think so because they don't have the same maternal instinct .

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

If my children, grandchildren are healthy and happy, I am, I think my husband worries but doesn't show it. My mum is 89 and she worries about the whole family.My dad probably does too.

If it’s us, yes. Or...my anxiety is greater. I know he does worry too, but not on the same scale. I go into overdrive, and I also feel the need to fix everything, and sometimes guilt! As if it’s my fault. But then I do suffer from anxiety.

My husband is the biggest worrier ever. He wasnt like that when they lived at home.

DanniRae I could see that things weren't right in my daughter's marriage a whole year before it ended

Me too with my daughter, DannieRae. I could see it on their wedding day but could do nothing but hope things would work out. They didn't.

Babsbada, this is absolutely true.

MarieEliza I agree with you as when you are involved you naturally take on responsibility for the outcome.

There's a quote- don't know where from, that you are only as happy as your least happy child. It certainly resonates with me and a number of my friends too.

Yes Ellie Ann, my daughter thinks me odd and afterctelling me and everyone else in no uncertain terms has now stopped all contact, even with my little grandchildren after 10 years of sharing their lives. So I have no idea how any if them are.
My son understand that I over fuss, he pulls me up sometimes but is patient and tolerant for which I am grateful.
I do obsess... and I worry about that too!