Why are so many elderly abandoned by grown up children.

Are you speaking from experience Sparkling? I think the consensus is it is not the norm. Allowing for those who had bad parents, those who don't come to see often, the majority of people do their best for elderly parents in my experience.

Sparkling. I see it too. My husband and I see it a lot as we both do voluntary work for older people. The amount of parents who have been ‘dropped’ by their grown up children is appalling. It would seem that that younger generation have absolutely now qualms about ditching ailing and elderly parents. I agree that there may have been valid reasons for the alienation in some cases but certainly not all. I would never have done this to my own parents; never in a million years. So unjust and so very sad.

slightly different, but i have seen several cases of elderly parents being bullied, co-erced, used for money. these people seem to resent that their parents need to actually spend money to live; some of them seem to want to liquidise their assets asap. ie have the money rather than the parents.
what is most sad is when the parents are still in awe of them, long for contact with them, despite it not being in their best interests.
blood thicker than water, i guess.

I've seen that too welbeck. And the excuses made by the parents, as to why their adult children only seem to contact them when they want more money, is really sad. The person I'm thinking of always says that their adult son is "so busy with his very important job" or "he travels so much, he doesnt have any spare time". But when her son does make a rare appearance, he invariably goes home with a fat cheque in his hand. And then she doesn't see him again for months.

yes, it's even worse where these people have control of the parent's money, and berate them for asking to spend it on fripperies, such as food. and careworker's hours, for severely disabled, but compos mentis client.

When I was young, my mum and dad visited their parents about twice a year as they lived a couple of hours away. Since my dad died my mum expects me to visit and take her round the shops one day a week. I have a young family, work 2 jobs and don’t have time for myself. I try to do the one day a week when I can. It bores me to tears going round the shops, lugging all my mums shopping. It costs me a fortune in fuel and parking as well. Then she complains I don’t go round enough. I think older people sometimes forget what it is like to be busy! My mum could invite us round for dinner once a week, or do something for us in return but never offers.

Fortunately I don't need help at the moment as I'm more than capable of looking after myself in every way, but saying that I could no more expect my D to run around after me with the workload she has either.

I'm also fortunate enough to have a generous brother who I know would foot the bill if I ever needed paid help as each time we speak on the phone he asks me if I want or need anything. I've never asked him for anything over the years even though I know he's comfortably off with a good pension or two.

Not that my D would ever abandon me, she wouldn't at all but I'd never knowingly be a burden on anyone if I could ever help it. Also my step-family would step in as well and because of this situation within the family I'm less likely to be anything but independent as psychologically I'll never feel helpless, worry, or even lonely -if you get my meaning. Always someone in the background should the need arise, financially and otherwise.

I can't imagine how those feel who have no family and nothing. It's a very sad situation. Or those whose families don't bother with them.