Do I call Social Services? I really could use some help?

Just what I was going to write jaxjacky

No response from OP?

I know he's your son, but if he is taking delight in his daughters suffering ,well that's abuse ! Report him now .I feel so sorry for you it's obviously breaking your heart .

Definitely report it and I fear for your DiL too if he is obsessed with her. She may need protection too. Could you speak to her Mum perhaps if not allowed to speak to DiL?

As an afterthought, and for nothing like your poor granddaughter is enduring....my granny protected me when I needed it. I always had such love for her in a way I never had for my parents. I still miss her after 40 years ?. Even if it ends with you losing contact with her for a few years, she’ll seek you out in the future. Better that, than for you to lose her permanently. Like others have said, you’ve done the hardest bit by coming on here. We’re all behind you, and look forward to hearing that your son has been ‘ removed’ from your GD’s life. God bless.

How awful for you! Please please report him to social services or the NSPCC immediately and tell your ex Dil before he harms her badly. It isn’t just the physical abuse it’s the mental abuse as well and how sad that your son is so jealous of his own innocent child.

Are you frightened of your son as it sounds as if you are. Please help your GD as this cannot continue

Another one here saying to report him as soon as possible. It must be heart-rending for you as he is your son, but this treatment of a defenceless little girl is beyond unacceptable. Why does he have so much access to her? I would be pushing for only supervised contact in future.

I agree with the majority verdict, Sadnanna. You need to act in this wee one’s best interests, because it seems to me that no one else is.

Yes, maybe you run the risk of losing contact with her, but better that than losing contact in the worst and cruellest way possible.

Please don't delay, I sincerely hope that you have already called. Poor little girl

The phrase in the OP, "She's my daughter, I can do what I like with her" is beyond chiling!

Please, Sadnanna, get on the case asap! This is a bad thing waiting to happen

Whilst I don't want to seem alarmist, similarly don't want to read about this in one of the newspapers.

Sending you strength to do what's right, and every good wish.
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So the little girl is with her mother most Sundays, Mondays and Wednesdays. Presumably her mother works or has ill health or would be the primary carer for a child so young. I have no idea how one would go about this but from all I have read on Mumsnet I think going straight to social services rather than antagonise your son By going to your dil and it would simply delay matters with the nspcc. It is possible To report anonymously to social services. A long time ago I knew a child was being mistreated and it was very hard to get people to act via health visitors and the nspcc. That poor child.

I couldn't read it all because it upset me so much. What a monster of a man ! Ring social services and ask if they can come and see you for you to explain what's going on. This can't continue as it's a serious matter and very damaging for that poor child.

Why oh why do these sort of things happen ?

He's your son, but he's a bullying bastard. REPORT HIM. Also, no matter what he says, speak to the DIL and tell her.

Blokes like him are despicable.

I would add, you need to do this as soon as possible!

As an ex social worker, specialising in Child Protection, I commend you for taking the step of posting on GN.
You now need to take the next couple of steps.

Please try to speak to your DiL.

Then call the NSPCC for advice. Discussing this and putting your concerns into words, will help you to marshall your thoughts and work out what needs to happen next.

Do you have a family member or trusted friend who could support you, during this difficult time?

Dig deep, you have taken an important step and now you need information and support to work through the next ones. Wishing you the best of luck.

Everyone is right SadNanna your son is abusing his daughter and you and her mother have a responsibility to put a stop to this. I feel so sorry for you as nobody wants to think their adult child could behave like this.
It's your granddaughter who is important here please get her some help.

How hard this must have been for you and I hope the advice and support from other grans will give you the strength you need as you report the awful behaviour .
I wish you all the very best.

I can't imagine how hard this must be for you as it is your son. Please report it for the sake of that poor child.

You know his behaviour is not normal and he is abusing this little girl. He sounds cruel and deliberately tormenting her. You need to inform authorities. Would your dil believe you if you told her or would it make things worse? This poor wee soul is at risk. Please act.

This made me cry...and confirmed what I’ve always felt that, no matter how well you think you’ve done as a parent, and you sound as if you did that to the best of your ability, there’s always going to be one who’s slipped through the net. Your son is one of them, and needs stopping before he kills her. She needs her granny to protect her...don’t wait a moment longer. Get onto Social Services now, and have all access stopped immediately. Thinking of you and praying. Know how hard it must be?

Oh yes you must report this ASAP SadNanna. As Jaxjacky has said "we are all with you".

Report him now, get professional advice and help now!

Sorry, although he is your son, he sounds like a sadistic bastard, who should NOT be allowed anywhere near that child!

I agree with everyone else, you must act now NSPCC, if you do contact DIL and your son finds out, I imagine your GD May suffer more. Deep breath, make the call, we are all with you. X

This is abuse both physical and emotional. You are clearly a loving gran which is why you cant ignore your son's behaviour and this should be reported because abuse such as this is damaging.
Its hard it but he is treating a very small girl badly and it has to stop. You know this of course.
He seems to have a lot of access, is there a reason why he has her so much?
Please speak to your daughter in law, because one or both of you have to do the right thing for your granddaughter and ring the local social services or NSPCC and talk to them about your concerns.

Coming on here has been a very brave step as Gillybob says. If it was the other way around, and say your GD was being abused by her Mother or Stepfather for instance, you would not have any doubts about what you must do. We all appreciate how hard it must be for you to see this dreadful behaviour from your son, but it is abuse, and must be stopped. This has really upset me, like others, please speak to your DiL, then report him.