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Can't do this marriage anymore

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EllanVannin Wed 02-Sept-20 16:11:36

Do you know if he has a Will ? Only if your name is on the deeds can you claim half the property, otherwise I'd start looking for alternate accommodation. Depending on your finances/ circumstances you could contact a housing association and see if they can help in any way. Most of them are online and have lists of vacancies.

Get cracking as soon as you can and get yourself and son sorted out. The sooner you make a move, the better.

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kircubbin2000 Wed 02-Sept-20 16:09:32

It will be such a relief when you escape.

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welbeck Wed 02-Sept-20 16:07:36

look up advice forums, also moneysavingexpert, where you can get useful insights from others who have been through it.
do not move out until you take advice.
get as much information, take photos if poss, of documents relating to all husband's, and joint assets, inc his pensions.
don't tell him your intentions until you have taken professional advice.
and do't do so much for him. stop colluding in being used as a servant. don't be rude, just vague, distant.
good luck.

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grannypiper Wed 02-Sept-20 16:00:51

Oh Maddy, bless you. You really must leave but not until you have somewhere to go to. Please get all of your admin in check, all of the bank, insurance, pension, mortgage/rent you paperwork. Remember you are half of this marriage, therefore entitled to your share. If your house is rented divorce will be pretty straight forward, see a solicitor for advice but remember you can save £1000's by taking ppaperwork to the court yourself or use quickie divorce . com.
Life is short, make plans to go and enjoy the peace, it is glorious flowers

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Maddy68 Wed 02-Sept-20 15:23:30

I need some wisdom here...I have tried my best for the past fifteen years but I can't do this anymore. My husband is not the person I thought he was and as Covid has gone on, I can no longer remain in this relationship for the sake of my own sanity and health (I am his fourth wife). I am so sad that I wasted my time on him. It was and is only about him to the point where I am terribly depressed, can't sleep and actually dread his waking up and coming downstairs; it makes my stomach hurt to be around him I resent him so much. He didn't keep any of his promises that he made when he retired (he has mental issues and health issues) and seems to think I exist only to serve him. I have tried so hard and am terrified to make a change at this age and stage of life with everything going on in the world; life is so hard right now for everyone! But I am losing myself horribly in all this at this point and have to make a change now, not later. My son moved back home due to job loss and if it weren't for him and Covid I would have already left I think. It is complicated, my husband is 18 years older than me and he is not my son's father. It would be me that has to leave and go somewhere else I think. I don't really have anywhere else to go and have been mostly a housewife this past decade. It is all so hard and horribly disappointing. I feel so used and taken advantage of as well as just plain stupid that I couldn't see what this relationship was really about. I am not a doormat! I have to pick myself up and move on but am so scared I just don't have it in me at this point. I go round and round with this. I am so unhappy at this point I don't think I am even afraid to be alone anymore, just afraid I won't be able to support myself.

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