Late 50’s over 60’s what exactly does your other half do round the house

I do everything apart from: Cook Dinner
Hoover Stairs
Wash Cars
He will sometimes do other jobs and will kindly announce to me that he has “cleaned the kitchen floor for me”!!!
I love cleaning and we both work full time, I also work another job. I don’t mind because if I did I would ask him and he would do stuff just not as good as I do??

When he was well my DH did his fair share and maybe more. He is ill now so I do everything and it is wearing. I would discuss what needs doing with your DH and insist that he pays for half of all maintenance. With regard to other regular chores just ask him.

My DH cannot cook. However, he does almost all gardening and bins, cleans his bathroom and will do most things I ask. He does decorating but I have the vision.
I cook, shop, clean.
It works OK. I'm part time; he's full time WFH.
Sometimes I nag!! Lol.

Try living on your own , you have to do everything then !!!

DH always does the bathroom out for me. Spare bedroom has been decorated new flooring down DD helped with decorating he’s pretty good considering he’s waiting to see a specialist about a knee op in considerable pain so don’t complain.
Washes up breakfast dishes etc.
Wipes up after dinner.

Marriage is a contract between two people. Just like a job.

If you are not happy then sit down and talk about it. Negotiate the changes you want. No point in being disgruntled and moaning all the time.

We sort of share stuff, husband is in charge of garden though, his choice and all repairs and maintenance, we have our own laundrys so do our own washing, have seperate bathrooms so we clean our own. He cooks most of the time, I help by chopping stuff. I wash up and do general housework as he works but if hes at home he will do it as well. He gets breakfast ready cos he gets up before me in the morning.
We dont have any hard and fast rules really just pretty much go with the flow.

DH is the only one who earns. The money is “our” money, It was the same when I was working...the household money is just the household money, we never think about who is paying for what. DH is the cleverest but most impractical man I know. If any repairs/decorating is required, we get a professional in to do it. I do most of the cooking, washing and cleaning. DH always clears up after the evening meal. He does most of the ironing as I have shoulder problems. It works for us.
If you are feeling resentful you need to tell your OH what you want/expect...or maybe it’s time to decide if the marriage is still working.....

My husband does all the washing. We have a cleaner who does ironing. He puts out the bins and does all the washing up not done by the dishwasher. Why hasn't the OP raised this sooner? Of course it will be a huge battle now but it has been allowed to develop into festering resentment which benefits no-one.

Married for 50+years, I realise that I have it too late to “train “ my OH in domestic ways...his work took him away from home a lot and he was never around to see what needed to be done to keep the domestic scene ticking over..!
He will never starve as he has a few basic cooking skills and is quite content making pots of tea all day long! He can shop, providing I write a shopping list for him, although he doesn’t always get everything on the list. He is brilliant at household finances and paying bills, working the computer and tv remote. He occasionally helps putting the bins out, dead-heading the roses, stacking &emptying the dishwasher, chauffeuring me to appointments/places as I don’t drive....

The rest of the chores are left to me...apart from doing the garden. This summer I found a gardener/diy man to help as I no longer can dig or decorate etc.

He does all the cooking because he enjoys it. We do shopping together. We change bedding together because i can't get a duvet into a giant cover. I take care of washing. Ironing is only done if its a special occasion. We don't mind who takes the bins out. I do the dusting and hoovering. He mows the lawn, I like to potter with plants. I fill and empty the dishwasher. I think we're fairly equal in what we do.

DH does 90% of cooking.. the little I do is baking on occasions and brekkie eggs lol
Maintains outside again 90% I tidy up and nag about bits
He changes the bed linen. Bed is made by whomever often both of us .
He does all kinds of odd jobs at home. Power point needs replacing he does , new power point he does.
He mostly does the kitchen bits and pieces including dishwasher. I do occasionally tidy up if he has gone out because his standard isn't my standard
He does most of the shopping.
He also maintains the cars.
Umm I do all laundry washing and put away. The iron is covered in dust ? .
I do the floors and bathrooms oh he does the loos.
I do all financials have done since before we were married.
Oh also we are finally at the stage where is one is pottering at chores the other doesn't have to think they have to do chores cause the other is.

Clio51 I can totally sympathise with you. Unfortunately after my OH retired (15 years ago) he hasn't done anything (not that he did much around the house before), now he only takes out the bins - sometimes.
I clean the house, do the washing, garden and cook etc. take care of the finances and just about everything else. If there is anything other than the basics we need eg cushions etc then I pay for it myself. Even a little bit of appreciation would be good, but he takes it as his right to sit and be waited on. Pythagorus, I have tried talking to him during lockdown and he didn't speak to me for 2 months! I am glad lockdown is over now and am intending to get out and about again with my friends. (socially distanced of course lol) I think he is the one missing out.

I used to be married to one of those black holes. Forty years. No longer.

My OH uses sticks so cant do much but in fairness he never did but now has an excuse. I have given him the job of ironing because he can sit down to do that and to bag up the rubbish in the kitchen while also sitting. I have always done everything in house and garden from daily chores to full scale decorating and landscaping. The resentment in me is because he is not interested in any of this nor does he get involved with budgets and refuses to go on holiday
(I go with a friend)

oh gosh,, my dh died last November, I have never lived on my own.. (just for the record!)

oh gosh,

"I live alone and do everything myself. Prefer it that way and there’s nobody to irritate you and nobody to blame"

this stuck out to me..

and no one to love, no one to cuddle.. no one to have argument with, no one to compromise with...

makes me realise how fortunate I was.. I did most if not all of the housework, out of choice,, always preferred to do my own vacuuming,, window cleaning,, we left them, till I felt like doing them.. etc...

dh took over a lot of the meal cooking,, we just got on with things and compromised... life really is too short.

I find it odd that household tasks are still gender based these days, especially when most women have worked outside the home. My OH is more fussy than me, and can’t bear disorder, whereas I’d rather read a book, or go out for a walk.
We now have a cleaner once a week, and do other things as they crop up. He likes putting out washing and ironing, I don’t mind cooking meals, for example.

@clio51 do you have joint accounts? If you do then I would go ahead and order new carpet /decorate etc. It's not reasonable for your DH to live with dirty carpets etc just because he's not bothered. If he kicks up a fuss go on strike? Who says he's the one to choose what your house is like? If you're not happy with the situation then change it.

I am on my own so do exactly what I want & like that way .
I see chores as pain before pleasure. As soon as they are done , the sooner you get to nice stuff . If there are 2 of you , it’s even quicker surely. See it as a team , but not in competition with each other . As men are domestically unaware , best make a list to get through, then plough on together , simple .

My heart goes out to you. I recognise so much of this. Not the money issue. But not caring about dirt and not caring about the house being repaired. I have lived with this for fifty years. I truly believe my husband would be happy to leave these things for ever. On top of this he gets very angry and cross with me when I start to try to do or organise these things. I don’t want to knock him as since he has retired and I have become even more ill and disabled, he does so much for me, shopping, cooking, driving, hoovering. I am so grateful for the unconditional love he has shown me all our lives but I went into his bedroom recently and was horrified. I don’t think he ever dusts or hoovers except in the middle of the floor. For a long time he never changed his bed though I think he is a bit better with that now. I went in and tried to clean when he was out but he came back and we had a row and he forced me to stop. He may feel bad seeing how sick I am but his answer is to bully me out of it rather than do it himself. Some may say I should leave it. But I can only do that to a certain extent. He has just come in and asked me what I am doing so after a bit of pretending I was doing nothing I have read this to him and he says it is pathetic, unfair and biased and he doesn’t complain about me on grandad’s net. He adds he does the gardening, all the hoovering ( Which is true as the hoover is too heavy for me but I do sweep a bit with a carpet brush) and most of the washing up. I ask him if this is fair now I have added this and he laughs and laughs and says the point is not that it is unfair but that I like to complain. Actually I would prefer not to have cause for complaint.

I guess it’s slightly different for us, living on a boat. Jobs are roughly divided into Domestic and Maintenance. DH does the latter as I’d have no idea where to start if I had to go down in our engine bay to do anything related to alternators, battery maintenance systems or the 12v electric system. He also changes the gas bottles because they are too heavy for me to hoick in and out of the gas lockers these days. I tend to take care of things domestic - including emptying the toilet (we won’t go into details, people may be trying to eat lunch!). He does the supermarket shop, I see to birthday and Christmas presents and cards. He cooks our main meal, I wash up. When we’re on the move we work as a team, I do the lock wheeling and am in charge of health and safety (mostly making sure that we aren’t going to sink in the lock or get hooked up on the lock gate) and he takes charge of the boat. It works for us - I haven’t sent him overboard with the concrete slippers yet!

Now I come to think of it, not a lot! Starts the day with tea and toast in bed (brought up by me), gets up and washes, comes downstairs and watches TV/does stuff on his tablet, eats his lunch, goes upstairs for a lie down or to do more stuff on his tablet. Or sometimes goes out sorting out the garage. I'll admit he sorts out any repairs and maintenance on my bike when occasionally necessary and occasionally mends things (usually many years after they were first broken).
I think he has good intent, but is the king of procrastination and prevarication. He of course would beg to differ if asked. Just as well I love him lots!

Well, a bit of an eye opener. I am responsible for all housework and cooking. baking, painting and sewing and IT. DH is responsible for gardening, TV, admin, TV walking the dog, TV cleaning after showers, TV, car driving, TV

He pays all bills (joint a/c), takes out rubbish, cooks about half the time but I have to leave the stuff for him to cook. Always does washing up. Used to do the big shops but we have delivered now. Does all the on line ordering for both of us, helps with garden if asked. In charge of car inc driving it, I only do the odd short drive if on my own. I used to do all the DIY, we get people in now. I do Everything Else. Horses for courses.

My ex-husband always did the gardening, decorating, etc, never beds or windows.
However, when he left me I not only lost my husband, but also my gardener and decorator. So if you have a husband who does some things, just be grateful because it’s no fun doing everything yourself, and work part-time.