Cutting the apron strings

I am going through similar situation, although my two adults kids are near and one farther away (plane ride to get there).
I don't think I ever really separated from them, as I see other parents do. I watch my adult daughters child a lot. Help my son when needed and take his child. Talk and ft my other daughter. But, I make myself too available, I believe. It is like a built my life always around them. I am starting to face this, as I am pushing 70 and need to live whatever life I have. It is just that, I don't have anyone to do things with. No husband etc. Most of my friends are with a partner or live farther away or still working. I know, I will need to make a life for myself without cutting any of them off. I just need to stop changing my plans to fit their needs.
I am have feelings of loss and thinking about seeking a counselor to teach me how to separate and be happy.
I love my kids so much and miss them everyday even that they are near.
Does this seem abnormal?

letting your middle aged children go I could understand your post if you were talking about 18/20 year olds but letting middle aged children go sounds as if you have been over involved for a long time so yes it will seem very difficult for you now

I left my home for the Far East when I was 20 it must have been a shock to Mum and Dad (I was a lonely only) no one travelled much in those days I did come back but not to my home town until I was much much older all my kids left home and moved away between 18 and 28 to various parts of the world ( New Zealand is the furthest) My grown grandkids seem to have travelling in their blood too
Surely this is part of parenting teaching children to live an independent life

*I love my kids so much and miss them everyday even when they are near.
Does this seem abnormal?*
nannylane I love my children too much to expect them to stay near me I m glad you are considering counselling

“Come to the edge” the mother bird said, “come to the edge” …they came…..she pushed and they flew

M0nica is completely correct and there is little to add to the point.

At some point they have to learn to cope - their parents won't always be around and it's better that they can stand on their own feet gradually rather than it being a sudden shock.

It is hard letting go, though. Give advice if asked, offer help if appropriate but, most of all, take an interest in what they're doing and be encouraging and enthusiastic. Then they'll want to share their lives with you, albeit from a distance.

These changes would probably have been easier to cope with if they had happened at the end of a normal year and not after months and months of lockdown.

I think it is quite natural to feel as you do, and nothing wrong with it, as you don't seem to be trying to change your children's minds.

At our age, I think we would do well to consider that our role in the family has changed. We have at long last the opportunity to be independent again. Something most of us haven't had since the day our first child was born.

Sit down and think positively about what you will do with all this lovely time.

Learn French? So you can converse with your son's in-laws if you go to visit.

Travel?

Take up the hobby you never have had time for?

Right your memoirs for your children and grandchildren to read at some later date?

Join a charitable organization, a political party, or a grass-roots group to make the world a better place (?) and meet new friends?

The rest of your life is waiting for you, you know. Enjoy it!

Letting go is very hard, but I hope you can handle it