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Picking up energy from people

(80 Posts)
ineedamum Mon 28-Sep-20 20:01:33

Hi, twice now in a certain person's presence, I have felt as if I was going to topple over as I was so lightheaded. This person is loud, doesn't stop talking but they're not a bad person but draining. Is this a coincidence or can people have this effect?

FannyCornforth Tue 29-Sep-20 03:31:56

Chewy I agree about the male voice thing.
I listen to a lot of audio books, sometimes just because I find that they calm me down.
My favourite female voice is Juliet Stevenson. I download pretty much any thing she reads, iregardless of the subject matter.

Luckyoldbeethoven Tue 29-Sep-20 09:22:08

I am sensitive to these overbearing talkative types too. The secretary of our WI is one of them, expect every phone call to be at least 45 minutes with many deviations!
I've also had several of those talk-without-drawing-breath people in my life, utterly draining. And they NEVER ask you about your life!

Teetime Tue 29-Sep-20 09:28:39

Yes indeed I find some people can have this effect. I once had a member of staff who was like a bouncy puppy, barely sat at his desk all day, whizzing around the place shouting and generally being very jolly and upbeat but my was he exhausting. I had a little word during supervision and he did calm down a bit but I moved on. I do thank him though as he taught me to do spreadsheets which was vital to m in my jobs and at home.

PamelaJ1 Tue 29-Sep-20 09:41:13

I work with women on a one to one basis.
At the end of the day my degree of exhaustion (or not) depends on who I have seen.
I used to have one woman who left me like a limp rag. A perfectly nice pleasant person who, incidentally, had the same effect on a colleague.

Froglady Tue 29-Sep-20 09:43:04

I remember being in a meeting with quite a few people and one person just kept on talking and talking and I felt like I was drowning in his words. I wanted to tell him to just stop talking. I didn't as he was the professional and I was a service user and I wasn't confident enough then. But I felt awful while I was there.

SueLindsey Tue 29-Sep-20 09:44:24

I have to switch the tv or radio off if Brian Blessed comes on!

Skweek1 Tue 29-Sep-20 09:46:44

I call them psychic leeches and, while actually they don't generally mean any real harm, if you are subject to their emotional draining, there is no alternative but to avoid them altogether.

Tanjamaltija Tue 29-Sep-20 09:55:09

Yes, they suck up your energy. They demand attention, and act as if you owe them your everlasting devotion. Listen, don't you need to go and use the bathroom, and, on the way back, find someone else to whom to speak?

Rmegan Tue 29-Sep-20 09:56:02

I spend most of my time alone and I’m sure I’m like this when I get to see my friends.

Soozikinzi Tue 29-Sep-20 09:59:38

Matthew Macfadyens voice or Matthew McConaughyes are both very soothing like chocolate xx I think as we get older we learn to cut the drains out of our lives . If someone talks non stop without listening my husband just walks away doesn’t give an excuse or anything he just walks off . It’s quite funny to watch !

Chewbacca Tue 29-Sep-20 09:59:54

I'm sure your not Rmegan, because the people who are overbearing, full of what's important to them or are energy suckers have no self awareness at all. They're convinced it's everyone else who's at fault. smile

polnan Tue 29-Sep-20 10:03:21

Amongst the people I meet at church, there are some people, so lowering! but then if I take the time to listen to them I find they have very bad issues to deal with.

some upbeat people, well I find them overwhelming,, why are we expected to be "happy" "optimistic" all the time..

so how are YOU today? I`m fine, I`m fine,, and deep inside, so in need.

but I have to say, this post has made me think.. how to find the happy medium? especially in the few times that we can now get to meet other people..

Blossoming Tue 29-Sep-20 10:03:34

Is she a black magician?

Since my brain injury I suffer from sensory overload and cannot cope with loud, noisy situations or people who never stop talking. Some noises make my head hurt.

Sheba Tue 29-Sep-20 10:15:48

I love Aled Jones voice, it's so soothing. Love Joanna Lumley as an actress but can't listen to her when she does documentaries, I have to change channel.

Caro57 Tue 29-Sep-20 10:34:46

DH, bless him, is getting very negative re Covid (student wimps!!), Brexit, etc. Etc. I welcome the days i go out to work grin

Kim19 Tue 29-Sep-20 10:49:06

Such a detrimental effect requires action. This certain person should be avoided. You can manage that albeit with slight inconvenience.

sandelf Tue 29-Sep-20 11:00:58

Oh yes. Whatever this person's 'niceness' or otherwise - they are bad for you - avoid and minimise interaction.

Bazza Tue 29-Sep-20 11:01:20

Joanna Lumley and Frank Gardner, BBC correspondent in a wheelchair. I’m not fond of American accents.

Unigran4 Tue 29-Sep-20 11:30:02

My Mum was the kindest, most generous soul, bless her, but so, so negative in her speech.

"How are you today?" "You don't want to know but...."

"What do you think of the new shopping centre?" " I don't like the colour of the floor."

"We've found our new house in (town)" "Oh dear, well, I suppose you can always move."

"You've got a new granddaughter!" "Oh! That's no good, I've already got three!"

Bless you, Mum x

gillyjp Tue 29-Sep-20 11:30:44

No you are not being unfair. My DD is very loud when she talks and she reckons it's because she has three children all vying for her attention at once. It has now become a habit so even when they are not with her she tends to talk very loudly and I have to ask her to turn down the volume because it hurts my ears!

I do feel sorry for her immediate neighbours. It must be hell.....

LauraNorder Tue 29-Sep-20 11:44:45

Just switched off Vanessa Phelps, what a grating, over excited voice, completely draining.
Yes I agree, drainers and radiators, it does us all good to associate with radiators as long as we too are radiators. Also should listen to the temporary drainers who may need us as a radiator but the constant drainers need the heave ho if we are to survive.

LauraNorder Tue 29-Sep-20 11:46:18

Wow, I seem to have disassociated with the comma, or is it from the comma?

Gilly1952 Tue 29-Sep-20 11:46:34

I think that the first two lines of the second verse of “Desiderata” sums up a lot of people I’ve known! Best avoided if at all possible!

Chewbacca Tue 29-Sep-20 12:00:28

Just back in from a visit to the hairdresser and I'm exhausted. Whilst being an excellent hairdresser, she's the most negative, "it's all about me", person I've spent any amount of time with. No one else has suffered from the impact of this pandemic as she has. No one else has lost a holiday; only her. No one else has been inconvenienced by the restrictions placed on hairdressing salons; only her. The impact of all this has caused her more stress, expense and worry than anyone else (she doesn't own the salon). I found it increasingly difficult to focus on what she was saying; it was just a monologue of personalised misery and anger and I could sense the rest of the salon going quieter and quieter whilst the litany of self absorbation droned on. I felt like weeping when I finally got outside. Time to find a new hairdresser; can't face this every 6 weeks.

SparklyGrandma Tue 29-Sep-20 12:23:42

Fuchsiarose I have a relative who can talk for 2-3 hours without drawing breathe or pausing. My head gets dizzy when on the phone to them.

Mostly though, people don’t overpower me verbally. I am an introvert and the relief when I shut my front door, aah.