Spending time together

On the 29 th we will have 52 years together. I love having my space while he enjoys his for evening tv. I usually read instead. We do agree on one show when we go to bed and watch it together. We are currently working our way through Miss Marple episodes. They are great.

We had this prob and it sort of grew but then I suggested Sat night pic! He gets to pick something I don’t usually care for and I have to watch it, war films action movies and the like. Then I get to pick, thrillers and horrors mostly. we talk about them afterwards and discuss what bits we liked and didn’t and it’s kind of grown. I now look for things that I know he will enjoy (still falls asleep a lot though but he does that with his own pics) and he’s now tamed down the car chase action ones down and is choosing fast paced thrillers. I think we can forget how to reach each other sometimes.

Yes we too have different tastes in TV viewing, my DH likes the old black & white films and 60's/70's programs, while I like to watch all things medical, from nursing background.
Most evenings one of us, usually DH retires upstairs to watch tv in our bedroom. I stay downstairs until 10 ish when we perhaps watch the News together.
This suits us both very well with 43 years of mostly bliss behind us!
If I were you Sophiasnana I would just carry on doing what works for both of you and not worry about your friends' arrangements.

My husband and I are just the same. He is into football and other sports so I have a TV in our bedroom where I watch what I want to. We do come together a few nights each week for things like Gardener's World. I prefer it this way as he can be so restless that I can't relax if I am watching something that he doesn't like. He wouldn't dream of watching Strictly or I'm a celebrity so I watch them upstairs and either write my Christmas cards or wrap presents at the same time.

We always spend the evenings together, we have one tv and mostly my husband picks what we watch but I dont really mind as I have my ipad and if the programme is really boring i will put the earphones on and watch netflix. We have very different likes in movies and tv but I can watch anything. If there is something on that I particularly want to watch I just tell him its on and we will watch that and he will play on his tablet. It all works out.

This is our life. But it's not bad to accept in life that we have different tastes. I record programmes that we are both interested in and watch at a convenient time. He sits watching his futuristic/vampire or 'shooty bang' films while I watch documentaries. He's at the pc at one end of the lounge with headphones and I'm down down tuther end with the tv.
We are retirees and married for 47 years so something has to give ??. I'm the fat controller?

We usually watch what I want. Some things we both enjoy. We quite like to choose a film at the weekend, though hard sometimes to agree on genre! Husband watches what he wants on his gadget later (separate bedrooms).

Are the friends really cuddling up watching a film? Or are they saying that because it sounds good? You can't believe everything. Carry on enjoying life as it suits you and you DH. There is no right and wrong about how we live our lives.

I wanted the wall between our lounge and dining-kitchen taking down to make an open-plan room that we could fit a bigger dining table in for entertaining.
My husband's main objection was, "What about when we want to sit in separate rooms and watch different television programmes?"
I told him that wasn't my main aim in life. I got my way and everyone absolutely loves the room, it's so much brighter with light coming in both ends and a great view of the garden.
He invariably falls asleep after ten minutes of any programme he claims to want to watch anyway, so I just quietly change the channel!

As long as you spend some time together, and have a good relationship, there’s nothing wrong with ‘doing your own thing’, though it’s good to find some programmes that you can watch together.
Neither of us used to watch a lot of tv, until DH had a stroke. He then became an addict of old tv series. He especially liked many of the old comedies. Only Fools and Horses was a favourite, but he was also addicted to Mash and Sharpe..
I enjoyed peace and quiet until he got up, usually around 10am. Then the tv was switched on, and remained so until his bedtime.

It was his only pleasure, so I simply tuned it out. Now that he’s gone I’m back to not watching a lot. I record some programmes that I like - quizzes, antiques, history and gardening mainly, and watch them when I’m in the mood.
It took me some time to get used to the silence, after I was left on my own, but I enjoy it now.

We have certain things we watch together ie crime stuff and Netflix series and certain things we watch separately ie family dramas for me and YouTube lectures for him which works fine . If this is working for you then b why change it ? You could go n the internet while he’s watching something to be in the same room I suppose? Maybe you’ll find a genre you both like ? But if it ain’t not broke why fix it ?

Thanks for everyones support. Makes me realise we’re not so unusual after all, and still very happily married!

Because we are mostly working at home at the moment, we inhabit different parts of the house, during the day.
We always stop for lunch together.

After supper, we generally sit together and watch television. Sometimes we finish our work, but stick to a general rule of no work after supper.
Mostly my partner watches the programmes I like, or we find something we both like.
I don’t like his choices - Horizon, Question Time etc, so he watches them on catch up. I watch some of my favourites on catch up too, so I don’t inflict too many of my choices on him.

Ok it might be a tall order but maybe watch what he wants sometime and get him to watch your programmes another time. Try and spend some time in the same room because as you say, you will miss each other when the other one has gone in the future. I’m sure his programmes are not that bad.

Ah, you just have to find the right sort of man, Buttonjugs.

In our house, the remote’s a bit of a free spirit, controlled by no one. Often making itself comfy down the side of a cushion or under a book.

I feel really disappointed to read so many accounts of women giving in to men over the telly. Makes me even more happy to be single.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Do most men really control the remote, Gwen? I’ve only known one who most definitely did - an older friend we used to stay with now and then.

He invariably chose what to watch - never asked what anyone else would like - and it was very often something dh and I would never choose. He’d then keep the remote firmly grasped in his hand, while he sat back in his recliner, the only properly comfortable chair in the room.

Almost inevitably he’d nod off fairly soon, but however gently you tried to ease the remote from his hand, his fingers would instantly tighten in a vice-like grip!

I’d often plead tiredness as early as 9 pm. There was a small TV in the spare room so I’d watch whatever I wanted in bed - far more comfortable anyway than the chair I’d been sitting in.

He’s gone now, so I don’t mind adding that he was an extremely self centred man in other respects, too.

Since it is the tv that seems to be causing the problem, one solution might be to get rid of it!

My husband had hearing difficulties so watched a lot of sport. I used to go in another room and listen to the radio and sew or do my crossstitch. We did watch films together and sometimes I had to tell him what was happening.
Now years later I am going deaf but thankfully there are subtitles.

As most men do, mine controls the remote control!! We do have 3 TVs, the best one often lacks an internet connection, so limited in use, The one mostly used is on most of the day with DH's choice. I occasionally glance at it, but mostly get on with emails, etc. The 3rd one is a bit selective about subtitles and I'm lost without them. He generally watches oldies like Morse, Lewis, Midsomer, Poirot, etc. I prefer more recent programmes!!

We quite often watch tv separately as there are some programmes that we just don't watch together. Weekends we normally watch together, tv on Saturday evening is dire so we generally watch a film. We have a tv upstairs in our spare bedroom/chillout room and the one in the lounge, no tv in our bedroom. So I don't see a problem with watching tv apart most nights of the week. We cook together, eat together, shop together, sleep together etc.

Your arrangement sounds fine, and if you are both happy there's no problem.
OH and I watch quite a bit together, but don't 'snuggle up' as he likes to flop full length on the sofa and I prefer an armchair.

We watch things together most of the time. When there’s something on that I really can’t bear (football, Top Gear etc) then I read or watch something else on the iPad with my headphones on. Then we’re both happy.

We have two TVs in different rooms. OH likes anything old and black and white which I dont enjoy. I like my soaps and reality shows. We both enjoy animal documentaries , farming and crime drama series so watch those together in whichever room is warmer! I think its great that we have a choice.