Christmas present

My mother point blank REFUSED to get into any tiffs and quarrels, miffs and bother with any of the family. It stood her in good stead as she was loved by us all for being so 'diplomatic'. I am trying (very hard) to be the same. It is easy to hold grudges, take offence or be upset by things that really aren't worth bothering with. Enjoy your family and don't look for problems

Lots of men collect Tag Heur watches!

What is upsetting you about this?

This is not really about the watch is it? I suspect that there is unfinished business between you and your step-daughter.
It is possible for a person to be deeply loved by more than one other person. Each loving relationship is different and need not detract from the love two people share.
Yes you are over-reacting.

My DH loves watches and has several by his favourite "designer " - the highly appropriate Fossil !!

I don't see what all the fuss is about ?

Did he seem pleased with it? What does it matter? I'm assuming it's not exactly the same design? If so, he can wear them alternately. My daughter likes watches (and clocks) and has 3 very nice watches that she likes to alternate.

I see why you are not happy about this gift but you cannot know what was in your step daughter's mind and the risk is that you create a 'story' about it, which then leads you to feel hurt. Mental stories can cause us so much pain and so many relationship problems, and it is always worth checking what you actually know to be true and what is your interpretation or creation. The potential pain from this 'story' for you, your husband and his daughter is considerable - not worth going there for your own and others' happiness. Feel the feeling but let the story go - and soon the feeling will be 'digested' and gone too.

BlueBelle I don't think the OP actually said 2 years ago. I've noticed that "a couple of years ago" can be as many as 5 or 6 these days!

I agree with Sukie let it go, you are over reacting.

I think men are notoriously difficult to buy for and perhaps there was a seed in the distant depths of your daughters mind which said ‘I bet dad would like a —— watch’. Big relief as that’s him sorted’. I wouldn’t read anything into it or say anything-there’s been enough difficulties for everyone this year without creating more

Of course you could view it as a compliment
If she knows how much he likes his current watch ....

I know a number of men who have a whole range of watches! It's not a slight on you, just that she knows her Dad likes a particular designer. Just ignore

Yes you're overreacting. Nothing good can come from pursuing this line of thought. Let it go.

Yes you’re overreacting. Had she known in advance and stolen your thunder by giving him the same watch before you had the chance I’d have some sympathy for you.
But your SD has bought her dad a lovely present he will like. I genuinely see no issue at all and cannot fathom why you are upset tbh, it seems like a bit of a manufactured drama!

Do people really notice trivial items of apparel like watches? I could not tell you whetehr my children wear watches or not, I think DD does and that it may have gold strap, further than that I could not go. As for DS, I haven't a clue. DH has had the same watch for 50 years. We all know he would never wear any other.

Watches never last long with me. After 5 years they turn up their toes and die, so I would never be bothered by an extra watch, even if it was identical to the one I already had.

Some men like having watches like some women like purses, for example.

Unless you and the daughter aren't on good terms and you think she had an agenda, I don't see a problem, apart from why are people opening presents before Christmas? !

I expect she wanted to buy him something nice and something similar to the one he has, as she knew that he liked it, some men like to change their watches, not just use the one.

I doubt that she tried to upstage you at all, just wanted a nice gift for her Dad.

Well did he say anything about it being a duplicate?
And what did you say ?

He opened the box even though it was addressed to me. At first he brought the box to me after first taking out the watch. He then told me that she gave him a watch and brought it for me to see. I wasn’t going to open the box until Christmas Day.

So has he opened his present already? If so what was his reaction ? Or were you peeping ? What’s the reason behind you remarking about her buying him another cheaper present?
As he was grateful when you bought it for him 2 years ago you know he loved it so not really a problem now is it
Just let it go it’s not really a problem
I still am interested in how you know what’s in his Christmas parcel ?

The trend nowadays are 'smart' watches which act like mini computers. My DS1, who loves gadgets(!) seems to have a different one each time I see him and I know his partner is thinking of getting him another for Christmas. There's always a new twist on the earlier models! Is this the kind of watch the OP is all about?

The backstory is that she lives miles away so doesn’t see him much especially since that area has been in lockdown for months. When I bought the watch for him he told me how grateful he was because he was always the one working hard and spending on his family. Also, she had sent another cheaper present for him in the same parcel.

Oh dear - I find all this palaver about Christmas presents slightly crazy. There is this sense of competition and taking offense that seems to happen in some families and I just do not get it at all.

I am sure there are more important things to get upset about at the moment. And whatever happened to Christmas spirit?