Heartbreaking to have a ten month granddaughter in Australia

I live in Australia as do my granddaughters - i havent seen them for almost a year because of all our border closures - so near and yet so far!

Family and grandchildren in Netherlands, Canada, UK.Not able to see any of them at moment. That is price we pay for raising enterprising confident children. I am happy they have made a good life for themselves even though it is far away from us.

Good to read so many supportive comments and that we are not alone. Trying to stay positive but is very hard. As you say this time we can ever get back. When adult children go overseas to live and raise a family they and we never thought we would be banned from visiting and not know for how long. My grandchildren live in Thailand and it is the strictest country in the world. Won't allow visitors from high risk cou tries and that of course includes UK even after vaccines, until.they have evidence re its efficacy and until.their own populations have been vaccinated. Even my family can't come here to visit as they need to quarantine for 2 weeks in an expensive hotel when they return as well as quarantining on arrival here. Its just not feasible. As many if you say, the important thing is that they are safe and happy there but it's so hard......any tips for coping?

We were one of those families who went to live in Australia in our 20s. I now realise how hard it must have been for our parents not seeing their grandchildren but at the time we didn’t really think about it that much. We used to go to the uk from time to time but not that often because we had 4 kids and it was too expensive. One of my regrets in life that we didn’t make more effort. I have many grandchildren now and we see all of them several times a year, some more often which is a blessing. We are all in Victoria, Australia.

Hi All. Have a conundrum I’d like help with. I need to understand the psychology of something. My partner of 8 years is very comfortable financially. I’m okish. I ask for nothing. I get nothing! I pay my own way except for holidays which he chooses - of course, he’s paying and I can’t afford to do otherwise. He has a son he sees, but his son doesn’t include my OH in his life at all. He has a daughter who lives in London (we’re in South Yorkshire) who he hasn’t seen for 5 years. She rarely contacts him and won’t acknowledge I exist. His ex wife left him well before we met btw. My son and daughter are a regular part of our lives. We have 2 beautiful grandchildren who think the world of him. My daughter sees my OH as a step dad although he recently admitted he doesn’t feel comfortable with that. I think because he’s worried it’ll upset his tenuous relationship with his kids??
At Christmas I got a present but little thought had gone into it. My kids and our grandkids got nothing. He bought his daughter a running machine. She always makes contact around Christmas funnily enough. I can deal with that but he also bought a friend of ours a lovely little gift because he knew she’d love it -which is nice, but strange?. We’ve only met her twice btw when we stayed at her B&B. She is lovely but we don’t really know her. It feels like he buys gifts for people who don’t care about him but ignores the people who give value to his life!?? His Will reflects this theme too (he doesn’t know I’ve seen it). I get next to nothing. His kids get everything. I will even have to move out of our home as it’s his house and his kids will want me out. It’s all very money oriented which I hate - but feel I’m also at risk in some way of being ‘after his money’ too??? I love him but it’s getting hard to stay. I feel not valued? But should gifts/money imply value??? I’m confused. Please help!!! ?

I didn't see my first Aussi GC until she was 18 months old and my second until he was 6 months old. I found I just had to make up my mind that this was how it was and I would make the best of it. My DiL is wonderful at keeping me up to date with their progress and technology has been a God send. I haven't been back to Australia since the visit to 18 month old GD, son and DiL but they come over every two to three years.

I have a very different relationship with the children than I would have had if they had been nearby but it is just as good and just as important and I frequently thank my DiL's mum for doing double granny duty as she is such a lovely person but has carried the weight of the half-terms and holidays, flying down to help out and no doubt, flying home happy but exhausted.

I do try to think about what I can do, rather than what I can't do. They are 12 and 10 now and I do feel we have a really good relationship.

The virus has made little difference. My son came over for a week when my mother died and got back just a week before Australia shut down. We always thought mum had good timing so I thank her for what was a blessing in so many ways. I've just been watching videos of them on holiday as they are not back to school yet. My GD is learning to surf. That made me realise in an even deeper way that they are better off where they are at the moment in more ways than I could ever expect.

(Wendy010 - I think you need to start a new thread with that post )

Migration is very hard on everyone. When they were in their early 20 s some of my children went to live in London for a year or two. They visited their grandarents quite often whilst there. At that stage there were no grandchildren on the scene but it was still hard. They returned here to Australia and all had children but it made me realise what our parents had gone through when we left. I had a bit of a cry about it. It is easier now than it was then with better technology but still not good. Funnily enough, though, I had a good relationship with my MIL from afar and we never got on very well when we lived in the uk.

It is very difficult but it's a fact and finding a way to make it work is the only thing you can do. This does no mean you don't miss the, or cry or occasionally devastated by your longing for them but how you make it work has to be your aim.

Whatever the distance, my children simply wouldn't allow any contact with grandchildren anyway - out of concern for my health. They want me to isolate and stay safe. I agree that it's the only sensible option.

I'm just absolutely flabbergasted that so many people are still taking little risks, such as going into supermarkets, walking with friends, forming unnecessary 'bubbles', looking after children - all in the middle of a deadly pandemic!