Hello All....I’ve been reading a few posts on the forum about relationships/marriages during lockdown....I thought I would share my own experiences. My wife is 50, I’m 54, I have a son who is 27 (who has twin boys) from a long ago relationship, my wife is childfree....we have been married eight years, our second marriages respectively......
We “bumble along nicely”, nice standard of living, both employed,couple of holidays a year (nothing exotic) a very mediocre sex life (mutually guilty !)...just your average couple.....
When the first lockdown occurred....it became very obvious that there was tension in the air, we were not bumbling along nicely in each other’s company all the time....I’m in construction & she is in banking, so we are always out of the house during the day and also had individual hobbies....
Tensions were brewing & niggles were occurring....this continued to escalate as the year wore on.....
It came to a head and a big dose of Honesty was needed from both of us. The reality was “we didn’t really like each other all that much !”
Some very honest and Frank conversations were had, that needed to be had & a re-evaluation of where we both wanted to go in our lives. Fortunately we were both on the same wavelength and although it might seem irrational to the outside we agreed (mutually) to separate for own respective happiness & well being....what does the song say “if you love someone, set them free”
It might seem a bit radical, but we are both now busily buying new properties, going through a divorce settlement & excitedly buying new things for our new houses.
Currently still living in the same house (separately) and behaving like adults...that have just taken stock of things & been BRAVE.
The point of this post is.....if you are not happy, then be brave and move on....we’re not here for a long time, we are here for a good time ! I’m sure we have all had friends pass away before their time and we have thought “bloody hell” that could have been me !
I’m no psychologist, just a normal Joe in his 50’s, that is in the fortunate position of living with an honest woman that felt the same.....
If you are feeling the same as me, be brave & have the conversation....you never know what the outcome might be.......it feels very cathartic
