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OH just doesn’t care

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Florencerosie Sat 20-Mar-21 20:22:13

I am feeling so down right now. For the past 8 days, I have had a raging toothache pain after having a tooth extracted and developing ‘dry socket’ I have antibiotics and am taking painkillers, but it’s horrible.

My OH takes me to the dentist and goes to get me more painkillers, but it’s as though beyond that his patience runs out. Earlier he went out and I asked him to pop to the chemist to get me some gel for my gum to hopefully ease it. He came back with some gel that didn’t say anything about pain relief! When I queried it, he went mad, threw the phone on the sofa and said you ring the chemist then!

I came upstairs, and stayed in my room - little while ago he got himself some dinner. I went to get some painkillers and said why didn’t you ask me? His reply, I didn’t know what you were doing!

He really just doesn’t care - I’ve always known, you can’t make someone care, but it’s hard to live with that and be happy. He won’t admit it, just says I made a mistake.

We can’t afford to sell up and buy 2 separate homes, I have a serious health issue and he comes to the hospital, and that to him is caring. I just said to him, if the dog was in pain, would you shout at her and he said no. I guess that says it all.

I just feel very low and wish I had someone who truly cared for me.

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maydonoz Mon 22-Mar-21 14:33:10

Hi Florencerosie
I do hope you're feeling better by now, "dry socket" pain sounds dreadful, I've had many extractions in my life, but thankfully have never suffered from this.
As to your DH not showing as much care as you would have wanted, I think generally men cannot cope with wives being ill or out of sorts. They are so accustomed to us running around caring for them and the family, it scares them when we are not up to par!
Having said that, yesterday I had a funny turn, when something upset my system and I almost passed out, DH was very considerate and did everything he could to help.
Thankfully I felt ok after resting for a few hours and today am back to normal, doing all that needs doing!
Hoping you're feeling better, rest and fluids and TLC from your DH.

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lary66 Tue 30-Mar-21 07:56:44

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Eloethan Wed 31-Mar-21 00:09:07

I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that a partner would be caring and loving when you are ill/in pain. From what I've seen, quite a lot of men don't seem to be very empathetic.

My husband, to a large extent, leaves me to it if I am unwell. But I had a nasty fall recently and he was absolutely brilliant - which was very comforting. Back to normal now though - grumpy and snappy.

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