A question of etiquette perhaps?

Not a problem here. My boys bring wine, beer & flowers. Flowers started when wives arrived on the scene. I love cooking so I am very happy to do the cooking. To be fair we get invites back too.
Sadly will not see family this Easter due to lock downs. Very sad but necessary.

If I'm invited anywhere, I always ask if I can bring pudding, I'm the baker in the family so a cake or apple crumble is always welcome! If they come to me I always refuse requests to bring something as I have more time than my working children.

Would anyone go to a non relative for a meal and not take, or send later by way of thanks, a small gift?
Why would anyone treat their nearest and dearest loved ones with less courtesy?

A family dinner consists of 21 of us and I used to do it all. The kids decided amongst themselves that they would bring something to contribute and in some ways it makes things easier. In other ways it makes it harder because they all have different ideas as to how much is required!

If I invite my family then no I would not expect them to arrive 'bearing gifts'. Just to have their presence would be enough and not having a dishwasher I can rely on them washing the dishes while I put my feet up.

We are fairly formal from that point of view. My daughter and DIL are very good and always ask if they can bring something.
I have often said, if you bring whatever the children like to drink that would be a big help. The children all seem to have very individual tastes about what they will drink and it knocks up the bill enormously if I try to buy several forms of drink that we will never use up. I usually ask them to take home any leftover children's drinks. I often send home any leftover food with them too. The adults often turn up with wine, flowers etc. if they are coming for a special meal. Although with lock-down we have not done this for a long time, if I invite them for a mid-week after work meal I don't expect them to bring anything, I am just trying to make life easier for them.

I have always been accustomed to taking some flowers with me for the host/ hostess, or a bottle of wine, or a box of chocolates.

Only as a student, did I ever ask, if I should bring a contribution to the actual meal, or expect my friends to do so when coming to me.

I was annoyed the other day when my DIL asked what was for dinner and when I said roast leg of lamb with roasted potatoes then said, what no salad? I told her if she wanted salad, she could make one, but that neither her FIL nor I would want any as an accompaniment to roast lamb!

For my family I don’t expect them to bring anything towards dinner. If I’m going to their home for dinner I’ll bring a baked cake or dessert or something for laters. They always bring a gift of wine or flowers and likewise so do we. For friends we’d bring a good wine and flowers.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

We have three adult kids with partners, and two grandchildren.
We have them over to dinner, BBQs, etc quite often ( although not recently during lockdown), plus other family members and friends.
We never expect or ask for anything to be provided, our policy is if you invite people over, you provide the food and drink. Same with weddings, parties etc, if you can’t afford or want to lay it on then simply don’t do it .

Tbh Whilst I don’t “expect” it, I always think it’s only polite to bring something...I would never dream of turning up to my Mum’s (or anyone else’s)for a meal empty handed...flowers, chocolates, cake..just something to say I appreciate her efforts and my DS has been brought up to do the same thing

Being old school I do take something or at least offer to. Fast forward 40 years and life is very different now. My daughter never offers anything, but does reciprocate with an invitation to hers. My son on the other hand always offers, but we never get asked to go there.
People have such busy stressful lives now, Mother’s are expected to work as well as have children, whereas I was a stay at home mum for most of the time.
Personally, it doesn’t bother me whether they bring anything or not, I’m just so grateful to see them. Now more than ever.

Not unusual to have the whole family - 10 or 12 of us depending who’s in town - to gather together for dinner to celebrate the main holidays (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving and sometimes our birthdays). When the invite goes out to our son and daughter and their families and sometimes their in laws to come to dinner, without exception they always ask ‘what can we bring’. We’re all family together - not honoured guests - and we share the pleasures of gathering together sharing happy times and contributing to the meal as a way to lighten my cooking load!

And yes OP it was 'pertinant' to your question to mention you are in Aussie and allowed visitors and mixing with said visitors- and even though yes, to other poster, we can look forward or back to other times, all stuff like the OP suggestion does is make folk want to break our (British) rules- and also, i think the Aussies tend to 'gloat' a bit about the fact they have the 'luxury' of visitors etc. right now.

Usually they bring drinks but not always. They usually ask if we want them to bring anything. For me it's the helping out that matter more. Except eldest dd and dgd they do very little and it became exhausting, particularly clearing up after they went home. Two or three dishwasher loads and all the glasses and non dishwasher pots, then the dealing with leftovers. All too much after a day and evening of entertaining on top of too much wine! The lockdown has given us a rest! But I will be happy to have them all round again soon, as the joy and laughter they bring outweighs the workload. I will give them all little jobs to do in the future!

Our two daughters would never go to anyone’s house for a meal empty handed, and neither would we. It doesn’t have to be anything lavish, a bottle of wine or even a bunch of daffodils. IMO, just polite.

Depends on whether you see them as family or guests. As I see them as family I wouldn’t expect them to bring anything but I’d have no problems asking them to bring something if I needed a bit of extra help eg dessert. And they always help to clear up which I don’t expect guests to do.

Why not just ask people to bring something ?
Whenever we have a family barbecue, we each have an allocated item to take from salads, some of the meat/ sausages, desserts, pre dinner dips/snacks etc and then we all take along what we want to drink. No one complains.
Time to send out a letter or text before each future event and say that you love their company but as you are fast running out of ideas of what food to provide, that they all bring along something of x number of servings that they would like to bring and share.

I can't imagine expecting my adult child to bring anything - for me, where I am is still his home even though he has a home and wife of his own now. I wouldn't feel that asking them to eat with me was a formal invitation, just part of being family. But all families are different ....

My elder son always bring cauliflower cheese and mince pies or shortbread as his contribution to Christmas Dinner. I asked him because he makes them so much better than I do! Otherwise, no I wouldn't expect anything.

How I would love for my children to be coming for lunch. When they come I expect them to just bring themselves. They never bring food as I am the feeder. But they generally bring flowers or wine sometimes both. Their company is all that I need.

I wouldn’t dream of turning up at someone else’s house for a meal empty-handed. But then I was brought up to show manners. Maybe you reap what you sow?

Son, his partner and my granddaughter came on Friday for a socially distanced outdoor lunch. We hadn’t seen them since last October. We handed over their Christmas presents and in in return they gave us flowers, fruit, jam, marmalade, honey, sausages etc. Our daughter came last Wednesday and again we exchanged presents. Younger son doesn’t have much money but loves giving books. He used to work at Hatchards and would bring beautifully wrapped and beribboned parcels.

We would probably take an easter gift maybe chocolates or wine or both - for the hosts to enjoy at some point. We have been told firmly by mil on numerous occasionss that we are not expected to take anything for the meal.

My daughter in law always brings a dessert.