Birthday gifts. When to stop?

starstella and chapeau.

Thank you for your comments. I didn’t think I was being ‘dismissive’ or ‘unpleasant’, but hey ho, it doesn’t take much to offend some people.

I intend to always give my Sons and DIL's birthday presents.

I'm 57 and still love to get a cheque off my StepMum so I can justify a treat for myself. 20 years ago I loved it because I was so hard up it paid for a good food shop!

My son and his partner are in their 50's and I still give them presents (or money if there is nothing they want). I would never think of stopping. They always buy me a gift so why would I stop buying them one.

I give all my AC & GC £50 each for their birthdays, but only give them a cheaper present at Xmas as it was getting too expensive as the kids grew and then had their own partners. As long as I can afford it I will continue.

Annlillyoliver - 'the way forward?? Tricky as you say you have always given them this same gift since they were adults.
Perhaps something more personalised would lessen the blow to their pockets.
I think if I was them I would feel more thought about than being given just money.
(So many comments here about what others give to theirs - I dont think that sort of information is helpful as its not a competition.)

Starstella. What ?????

I think 'annesixty' has the best advice .

My DM is 99 and still gives money for birthdays in spite of us telling her not to. If you can’t afford or no longer want to give the money then I would speak to your son and maybe reduce the amount slowly until you are comfortable stopping. Do what you are comfortable with.

My lovely DIL is 40 this year . She is horse mad. I usually spend £50 on birthdays but as hers is a special one , I think I will buy her a designer purse and put £200 in it , that way she can treat herself or treat her horse . I’m not bothered which as long as she’s happy .

No sorry knocked it on the head when we retired.They can well afford anything they want.We dont give and dont want either.Grandchildren yes till they start working, then no.

My mum (90) gives me birthday money and I do this to my kids and grandkids and always will.

I give the same to both my sons and their wives and they are late forties. My husband used to say they might as well have it now than later. I wouldnt say that either of my sons need it, but I want to do it. They usually tell me what they did with it. With the boys its usually something for the home or garden, the girls usually clothes.

Calandargirl Absolutely nothing wrong with your post at all.

I much prefer to give gifts than to receive them.I give the boys and my grandchildren money and a selection of gifts which have become a ritual.I know they would be really disappointed if they didn't get the little gifts much more than the money.I shall continue giving gifts untilI kick the bucket

Snap Jillybird! I always give our two sons £1 for each year plus some little item I've picked up along the way. Getting expensive....... 52 & 47 this year. I've been told it's a nuts kind of thing to do (not by them) but I like it. Can't think when or why I started. Looking at these ages, I surely must have been a child bride!

My Mum still gives me a birthday gift and Christmas, usually money. We also give birthday and Christmas gifts to our 5 adult children. It’s up to you what you do. I do remember how disappointed all my children were though when their paternal grandparents stopped both birthday and Christmas gifts at 18, which meant some Christmases some children got something & others didn’t

Well, I still give birthday money and a present to our adult children and my dad still gives me some money or a cheque, and he’s 98 and I’m obviously an older adult! And we give him birthday money or presents.

A nice clean £10 or £20 note always goes down well, no matter how much money you have ..... if the giver can afford to give it of course.

Some people give birthday presents or cash, and others don’t. Never too old for a present in my view!

Just because an AC earns more than their parents did at the same age, it doesn’t necessarily mean they have very much disposable income and however much you do have, it’s always nice to be given money just to spend on yourself without feeling in any way guilty about it.
My DM and DMil were both very generous and their gifts of money were always very gratefully received.
There’s no way I’d ever stop giving our own DC and DC inlaws gifts of money.

Why not talk to them about this - who doesn't like to get a little something for their birthday? I'm never concerned about Christmas gifts, in fact with several couples we have agreed over the years to go for a meal rather than buy presents for each other that none of us need, but your birthday is your special day, and even if it is a tiny bunch of flowers, a pretty scarf, a book, bottle of wine - however small I love giving and getting.

CALENDARGIRL I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST TELLING US TO BE CAREFUL.IN NO WAY WOULD I FIND IT UNPLEASANT.STRANGE HOW PEOPLE SEE THINGS.

How about buying them books instead of giving them money?

Actually, the older I’ve become, the more I give....all 11 of them (children and GC)?......their needs are greater than mine.

I would never stop giving gifts to my children, grandchildren and husband because I love them if you cannot afford £50 give them less, but I think a gift that you have chosen for them and you know they would enjoy would be better. I think giving a family member something and seeing their pleasure is priceless.

Happy to give and receive gifts with my son and daughter in law and of course my little grandchildren aged 4 and 1 yrs old. I also exchange small gifts often handmade or related to their hobbies with my brothers and wives. Stopped with my nieces and nephews as they reached 21.

I buy gifts for my 3 children and their partners unless they specifically ask for money towards something. I would not dream of stopping - why would you? I also buy for the 7 grandchildren. My 3 adult nieces I stopped buying for when they had their own children and gave to the children instead. This seemed a good idea at the time but ,of course, they’ve all gone on to have multiple children so I’m actually buying a lot more presents!