Friends...... not the tv show

I am the same, moved away from my home town to go to college then moved further away to work. Had a couple of friends at school and at college but I have never been really sociable. Still exchange Christmas cards - nothing more. I was really focussed on work, didn’t socialise much then, but happy with this. On retirement I used to occasional meet up with a couple of ex-colleagues, we haven’t met for over a year due to my anxieties about Covid, they don’t really understand this.
Pre-lockdown I went to a couple of groups, didn’t make friends as they all seemed to have their own families & friendship groups. I think I am not the sort of person that people warm to, not good at small talk. Am I happy like this - yes, I have my dog, my garden and my books.

A good way to meet new people and possibly even make a friend or two is to join an NWR group. National Women's Register is an organisation for women of all ages who meet in each others homes to discuss a topic. The topic may be serious or light hearted. No committee meetings. The group to which I belong continued to meet through Zoom during lockdowns. Now we meet in the local park, or members' gardens. I have made many valued acquaintances and two good friends through NWR.

I read recently that few people have more than 5 close friends. It is something to do with dynamics of how we relate to others.

I do have several friends, but no outer circle. DS and DDiL seem to know everyone and have whole circles, of very close friends, outer circle and circle beyond that, and my mother was similar, but this skill eludes me and DD who has chosen to live alone and unpartnered has a small circle of good friends and seems to have no need for an outer circle.

I have a few close friends, ones I can turn to in distress, most are long-standing. I persevere with friends and tend not to fall out with people, although one close friend, now dead, did push my tolerance to limits I did not know it could reach.

I'm in a similar position regarding friends. I am only in contact with one person (not face to face) who I have known for 20+ years. Sadly a lot of good female friends have died in the past five years or so.
As you get older I'm late fifties and with wfh for the past 10 years it is difficult to meet people and have the close regular contact that builds friendships.

Eviebeanz" Please, what is wfh?

I am relieved I am not the only one. Had one good friend at school but that faded away. I do have friends but am content to see them infrequently. I get stressed. If they come here I worry about my cooking and cleaning. If I go to them I worry about their cooking and leaving my dogs. Luckily my husband goes with the flow and sometimes goes out on his own and leaves me dog sitting. I do worry what will happen if he dies first

wfh usually means “working from home” Aldom .

Yes sorry that's what it means

wfh Thank you both for explaining

FindingNemo I had an experience like yours of an old school friend making contact during lockdown and wanting to chat through WhatsApp. During lockdown she moved house and was lonely I think. Now that things have opened up, she has vanished. It feels a little irritating ......

Friendships come and go through life it seems to me. I moved house five years ago and haven't really settled and I've found it hard to make new friends. In the past, I used to make friends easily and I've tried my best here but I think that as people get older, they don't have the energy or interest to meet new people and most seem to get very settled in their ways.

I've found the WI and u3a useful for acquaintances and for generally keeping an interest in life going but I often feel lonely now, despite having a husband, and my friendships are still with old friends who I now only contact through WhatsApp or phone calls.

I think it's sad how lonely life has become in Britain, neighbours seem to keep to themselves or always be in cars, young people don't talk, everyone is always on their phone, some people just stick to family.

True….

Hooray! I've found others who share my views about others' 'need for 'besties' to share the minutae of their lives.I was (am) an only child, no family and - most importantly, of my choosing- no friends to speak of. I find the maintenance of relationships with others with whom I actually have little in common tedious in the extreme. Does that make me a selfish person? Possibly. By and large I am happy in my own little world - doing what I want, when and where I want. My funeral will be a minute/tiny affair - but will I care?

Good onya loopy. So long as you are happy that is all that matters.I like to have a lot of friends and activities but I tend to keep at a certain distance because I also like to do what I want when I want. I don’t actually like people just rocking up uninvited,had enough of that over the years.

Although I have friends from the past that I still correspond with, and when we meet it is as if it was only yesterday, currently I am feeling friendless. I have acquaintances through choirs etc but we are not meeting. My voluntary work is being done from home, so I miss that camaraderie.
In the past couple of months I have tried to arrange to meet up with three separate people, with no success, and it is always me who takes the initiative, so it seems that they don’t want to, for whatever reason.
I am back from holiday and nothing to look forward to. I hate walking alone and with the increase in COVID cases, I am reluctant to get out and about in busy places. So it is a bit lonely.

Maybe try zoom meetings Cabbie? Or pick up the phone? I think lots of people are actually still wary about meeting in person due to Covid. I know what you mean about feeling lonely at the moment tho. To help with this I've joined a couple of zoom bookclubs via Meetups and met some new people in my area and hope to meet them face to face at some point - but not just yet!

I have one friend I've known for 30 yrs we text 2/3 times a week and meet for coffee now and then due to distance.
My other friend moved away several years ago and we ring each other alternate weeks.DH and her husband are friends too and the four of us enjoy weekends away

My father never had close friends. Only buddies. He did not suffer from this. His closest friends were us, his family