Daughter's relationships - always end the same

The blame for the failed relationships seems to have been assigned to the dd. Perhaps she is not meeting the right kind of man who wants a stable relationship. Maybe she is clinging on in desperation rather than admit to another “failure”. Dragonfly describes how her dd finally met the right man for her.

Also at dd’s age a lot of men the same age will come with baggage as does she which can make it difficult. She needs to be patient, but it would be as well to find other ways to be fulfilled rather than having be married as the sole aim. There are plenty on here who can tell tales of unhappy marriages that didn’t work out. She does have her own child to consider as well.

25Avalon you are so right. My DD definitely is not attracted to the kind of man who wants a steady relationship. Rather she tends to go for men with issues in their lives which she often thinks she can solve. She never goes for anyone straightforward. She invests all her time and energy into a relationship and would never be unfaithful. But the type of men she goes for don't seem to want that. There are so many things going on here. I do try to sympathise but we are so unalike. When I was young I found lots of different types of men attractive but she says she won't settle for a relationship which she considers to be less than ideal as she has seen so many of her friends who have done that she says. It's complicated as we can't get into someone's head. It's a constant worry seeing her sad.

She sounds very needy. I think she should work on living a happy single life, then perhaps someone will come into her life at that point. I find it sad when women can’t be happy alone & become desperate for a partner. Everyone else can smell the desperation!

Fully agree with blue25

If she won't settle for a relationship that is less than ideal, then you might as well give up now. No relationship is ideal, we are all human and have our failings, women as well as men.

I think she needs to realise that salvation is in her own hands. She has got to have the mental strength to realise that when in a hole, stop digging, if you always fall for the same sort of man and it is always a disaster, then think why that kind of man attracts you and whether you should rethink your approach to relationships, perhaps, seek counselling or therapy.

But she has got to realise that the answer to her problems lies in her hands and if she isn't prepared to face up to them and deal with them, no one else can do it for her.

Sounds like your dd may have abandonment issues after the break up of your marriage. What happens in childhood and how we cope with it can end up becoming a problem to us as adults.

Counselling would help her to see the patterns in her relationships and help her to move forward. If she doesn’t feel open or ready for this there isn’t a whole lot you can do other than maybe to ask her if she feels there is a pattern to her relationships, or maybe buy her a book on this subject.