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Do your husband have any say in what you wear?

(102 Posts)
Itsawelshthing Fri 16-Jul-21 19:56:52

Probably comes across random but my husband and I have completely different tastes in clothes which is fine, I couldn't care less what he wears really. I am more of a casual wearer ie. jeans, a plain top with a few patterns on it maybe, and a cardigan to throw on if I feel a bit chilly and a simple maxi dress if it's warm outside. I am always hygienic, my hair is neat and tidy, I honestly like to keep plain and simple and have always been like that. I am not into frilly blouses or chiffon tops or them posh dresses. They look lovely but they're just not for me. My husband seems to always comment on what I wear, saying that am I really wearing this/that when we're about to head out, to which I say yes so what? Then he says I need to really get an updated wardrobe hmm and when we go shopping and end up in the clothe aisle, he is always looking at the woman's section saying I would look nice in this and that and I just thought, FGS I only came here to get some milk! How did we end up in the clothing aisle lol! I think he must be ashamed of what I wear or he is bored of me. I remember when single life is much easier and more independent grin

threexnanny Mon 27-Sep-21 17:42:07

No, he does not have any say in what clothing I wear, but will compliment me if he likes something. However, he does remark on my footwear. 'Are you going to be able to walk in those?' That has more to do with me stumbling while holding his arm than any fashion sense though.

Judy54 Mon 27-Sep-21 17:00:15

My Husband is always complimentary about my clothes, he knows my size and style and has often bought me amazing pieces for birthdays and Christmas to add to my collection. He has great taste.

Audi10 Mon 27-Sep-21 15:51:29

No, my husband has no say in what I wear, he actually likes the things I wear, if he was to say he didn’t like something I’d probably say it’s a good job you aren’t wearing it then, but seriously he’s never said he doesn’t like my clothes, he’s quite complimentary, as I am of him

crazyH Wed 04-Aug-21 22:38:17

Snap User7777 !!!! although he didn’t burn my clothes, he sure wished he did -he left me and I say, good riddance !!!

MissAdventure Wed 04-Aug-21 22:35:27

My ex often commented on my choice of attire.
"An explosion in a jumble sale" was one, along with "Bag lady".
I think he thought I should totter around lidl with a pencil skirt and stilettos on.

Eloethan Wed 04-Aug-21 22:20:12

I don't think my husband has ever commented adversely on what I wear. I'm not sure he's that interested, which in a way isn't very comforting either.

When he used to come shopping with me (don't do that now), he would say everything looked "fine" - I think just to get us out of the shop!

MissAdventure Wed 04-Aug-21 21:56:25

grin

Soroptimum Wed 04-Aug-21 21:41:28

Had a lovely formal photo of the 2 of us on a cruise. Photo sat on the mantelpiece for about 5 years. Came down one day in the same dress, DH looked up and said “Is it new?”

User7777 Wed 04-Aug-21 16:23:34

No I dont have a husband.....I got rid of him when he burnt all my clothes up the garden. He didn't like my clothes, he didn't like people, and was defo a sociopath in the making. I would take no notice of anyone who disliked my clothes, as they would not be accepting me as I am.

DerbyshireLass Wed 04-Aug-21 15:44:43

I used to love going clothes shopping with my late husband, whether for him or me. He had a very discerning eye and often encouraged me to try something on which I either hadn't noticed or which I thought wasn't right for me. He was always spot on.

Greyduster Fri 30-Jul-21 08:26:29

I can’t remember him ever saying anything derogatory about anything I’ve worn (except that he fell about laughing the first time I put on fishing waders!). Until recently he has never taken any interest in the buying process either, but if I am looking for something special nowadays, he will pick things up and say “What about this?” Very occasionally, he’s spot on! As for his clothes, I will occasionally say “please don’t wear that with that - it makes you look old!” (he’s nearly 78!!) and he knows I have a huge bugbear about socks and shorts. DD tends to buy him clothes for birthdays and Fathers Day and she has a very good eye for what suits him. She never buys me clothes - she knows I’m a lost cause!

Shropshirelass Fri 30-Jul-21 08:19:37

My DH tells me that I look nice, I prefer casual clothes, mostly trousers or jeans but I wear nice tops with them. I tend to choose some of his clothes as he hates shopping! My dad used to help Mom to choose clothes, he had good taste and liked Mom to be well dressed, she always took a pride in her appearance. He found my wedding dress, and it was perfect for me.

Ladyleftfieldlover Fri 30-Jul-21 08:18:38

My OH doesn’t care what he wears so long as it fits and is clean. It can be difficult if we are going somewhere which requires certain level of smartness. He doesn’t usually notice what I wear but if asked will say that I always look nice. He hates clothes shopping and has hardly any. I, in contrast, love it and have things for every occasion! I do get a bit annoyed sometimes when we go out and I’m wearing what I think is the ‘correct attire’ but he just isn’t interested.

Katie59 Fri 30-Jul-21 08:06:42

Mmmm, he will comment if I’ve made a really bad choice and he will complement me if he likes what I’m wearing, so he does notice. The result is that I wear the style of clothes that he likes, he is fairly good what he wears, so I don’t have to correct him very often.

Whitewavemark2 Fri 30-Jul-21 08:05:52

He might say “is that warm enough” or “do you think you need a coat”

Occasionally he says “that’s new” to which the stock reply is “I’ve had it ages”

But that is as far as it goes.

denbylover Fri 30-Jul-21 04:06:55

I honestly don’t think my husbands mind works like that! He’s not into clothes at all. I’ll often say to him how about a new jumper or pair of boots, he looks at me as if to say ‘I’ve got a pair of shoes why do I need another pair’, hopeless, quite hopeless lol. But in saying that he does like to look smart, (prob because I buy most of his things!). So in answer to your question, he comments on my clothing to compliment not to question or criticise. Clothes to him are of no interest.

Patsy70 Wed 21-Jul-21 19:12:03

No! My OH admits that he ‘hasn’t a clue’ when it comes to clothes, but is always very complimentary when I’ve dressed up to go out. I’m more of a smart casual than frilly and fussy.

Witzend Mon 19-Jul-21 19:09:26

I don’t think mine ever notices what I wear. I used to joke (not entirely joking!) that he wouldn’t notice if I went out topless with my nipples painted green. 😂

gmarie Mon 19-Jul-21 19:03:56

When I was 27 I let my then husband talk me out of wearing earrings in my pierced ears because he considers any piercings, tattoos, etc. to be "mutilating" the body. When he left me after 17 years of marriage, first thing I did was stick a pair of those puppies back in! grin Very cathartic

hollysteers Mon 19-Jul-21 18:48:45

It’s interesting that when men have ideas about their partner’s dress, most GNs see it as controlling, but not the other way round. Many men are happy to be dressed head to toe by their wives. Is that controlling?
lemsip I agree about men in the lingerie department. It seems to me they are usually there reluctantly hovering about, so one becomes conscious of them. I usually give them a dirty look if they are near me vaguely staring. I assume they belong to the breed of joined at the hip.

Yammy Mon 19-Jul-21 18:08:13

Ask him to go clothes shopping with you and take him to a really expensive shop and get him to look with you and choose some outfits. He'll soon back off when he sees the price tag.

Tea3 Mon 19-Jul-21 17:50:54

kissngate

The other day I was looking at the sale rail in a small chain store, next to me were a couple of similar age. She mentioned to her oh that there wasnt anything in her size. As she was no more than a size 12 I said quite a few were on the wrong hangers but there were a few small sizes left. She looked amazed and said it was extra large she was looking for. I remarked she was half my size, no way was she xl as I was a medium. She then found an xl and said to hubby (who was by now glaring at me) I'll try it on no point in buying if you dont like it. Looking at the pair of them he was smart in nicely fitted polo shirt and chino type shorts etc. she was wearing loose old fashioned polyester type trousers and a dowdy blouse which was way too big. I did wonder if he controlled what she wore.

Sounds sinister kissngate.

kissngate Mon 19-Jul-21 17:09:11

The other day I was looking at the sale rail in a small chain store, next to me were a couple of similar age. She mentioned to her oh that there wasnt anything in her size. As she was no more than a size 12 I said quite a few were on the wrong hangers but there were a few small sizes left. She looked amazed and said it was extra large she was looking for. I remarked she was half my size, no way was she xl as I was a medium. She then found an xl and said to hubby (who was by now glaring at me) I'll try it on no point in buying if you dont like it. Looking at the pair of them he was smart in nicely fitted polo shirt and chino type shorts etc. she was wearing loose old fashioned polyester type trousers and a dowdy blouse which was way too big. I did wonder if he controlled what she wore.

Nannarose Mon 19-Jul-21 16:43:47

As hithere points out, it is the context that matters.

In a loving give-and-take relationship, we take account of each other's tastes and also know if someone has a good eye (or not) for clothes or style. In some relationships it becomes controlling.

Buying clothes for someone you love can be thoughtful and helpful, or demeaning and controlling, depending on the context.

OP, I hope you don't mind my saying that your post doesn't appear, to me, to be about clothes, but about your last sentence. Please ignore if that is unhelpful

M0nica Mon 19-Jul-21 16:23:42

DH is fussy about clothes and does replace things as needed. I have tried buying odd items for him over the years, but if it isn't exactly what he would buy for himself, then he doesn't wear it.

I just think it is rather demeaning to expect other people to buy you your clothes as if you were still a child. DH is one of those people who doesn't look smart no matter how well made and cut his clothes are. His usual wear is jeans in a variety of colours with matching T shirt or sweat shirt - usually RNLI ones.