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Do your husband have any say in what you wear?

(101 Posts)
Itsawelshthing Fri 16-Jul-21 19:56:52

Probably comes across random but my husband and I have completely different tastes in clothes which is fine, I couldn't care less what he wears really. I am more of a casual wearer ie. jeans, a plain top with a few patterns on it maybe, and a cardigan to throw on if I feel a bit chilly and a simple maxi dress if it's warm outside. I am always hygienic, my hair is neat and tidy, I honestly like to keep plain and simple and have always been like that. I am not into frilly blouses or chiffon tops or them posh dresses. They look lovely but they're just not for me. My husband seems to always comment on what I wear, saying that am I really wearing this/that when we're about to head out, to which I say yes so what? Then he says I need to really get an updated wardrobe hmm and when we go shopping and end up in the clothe aisle, he is always looking at the woman's section saying I would look nice in this and that and I just thought, FGS I only came here to get some milk! How did we end up in the clothing aisle lol! I think he must be ashamed of what I wear or he is bored of me. I remember when single life is much easier and more independent grin

Nonogran Fri 16-Jul-21 20:05:33

Try something a little more to his taste and just see, just see, if you can bear it. Don’t tell him, just buy something a little bit different & see if he notices.
If you’re unsure what to buy, ask a friend for help maybe?
I’m not really an advocate of dressing to please a partner or a man so don’t get me wrong but I think he’s trying to tell you something.
Perhaps a little bit of “taking for granted” has come into your relationship?
I’m on your side - just bring Devil’s Advocate.

Polarbear2 Fri 16-Jul-21 20:12:27

Kind of just thinking… he has to look at you. You don’t see yourself most of the time. Wouldn’t it be nice to do something nice for him? At least he’s showing interest. I know we’re supposed to ‘dress for ourselves’ and probably we do but a bit of give and take never hurts ?‍♀️

Katek Fri 16-Jul-21 20:15:00

In a word ……. no.

welbeck Fri 16-Jul-21 20:18:52

this sounds like going out with someone new.
how long have you known him.
did you never notice these comments before.
has he changed.
is he having an affair.
certainly it is not for him to tell you how to dress.
if he doesn't like it, why did he marry you.
or have you changed.
you are not a jockey wearing owner's colours.
tell him to jog on.

Flexagon Fri 16-Jul-21 20:25:05

After a working life in business suits, casual wear was almost always a black top, smart black jeans and a colourful scarf to zhuzh it up a bit. Then came lockdown, leggings and sweat-tops for over a year. I've come out of the traps wearing dresses for the first time in I can't remember how long. It feels good (as well as cool in hot weather) and has resulted in a few compliments from unexpected quarters too. So, maybe try something different for yourself and for him.

Galaxy Fri 16-Jul-21 20:31:54

Dear God no.

Visgir1 Fri 16-Jul-21 20:32:15

None what so ever

Oopsadaisy1 Fri 16-Jul-21 20:36:42

I think it’s nice that he takes an interest, try wearing something different, you might like it, but try it on anyway then let him see that maybe you look better in jeans and a top.

Jaxjacky Fri 16-Jul-21 20:37:19

No, never, he might say that looks good if I’m wearing something new. But as when it’s cool it’s jeans/t shirt/shirt/jumper, swap shorts for jeans when it’s warmer, I’d be impressed if he noticed.

Millie22 Fri 16-Jul-21 20:38:45

No but then I don't wear frumpy clothes. I'm not implying that you do but sometimes women can get used to wearing the same things all the time and it could be good to try a different top/trousers/dress or even brighter colours.

Hithere Fri 16-Jul-21 20:43:52

Not at all.

BlueBelle Fri 16-Jul-21 20:56:14

Well I don’t have one now, (husband I mean) but never had one interested enough to comment, but had they done so I doubt I would take much notice, but I do like up date clothes in my wardrobe without looking like mutton dressed as lamb I love the fashions at the moment and bought myself some baggy cotton dungarees for this summer with a tea shirt underneath I hadn’t worn dungarees since I was a young and but wanted to see if they looked ok I ve had good comments I love the colourful baggy harem pants after years of wearing skinny shorts, jeans, jeggins
So I do think it’s good to make changes and in a way it’s nice your husband is interested, maybe he has a point

kittylester Fri 16-Jul-21 21:04:15

I wouldn'tvwwar anything dh actively disliked but he is brilliant at finding things outside my comfort zone for me to use.

ayse Fri 16-Jul-21 21:13:10

My DH has given up asking me to wear dresses. I just like to be comfortable but can dress up if the need arises. He says when he thinks I look fine but rarely comments on my day to day wear. I’m glad that this society has become more informal over the years as it suits my way of life.

For OP, no my husband doesn’t really have a say in what I wear.

MoorlandMooner Fri 16-Jul-21 21:14:06


It sounds as though you always dress perfectly well and to suit your own taste OP. Sounds like you have your own style to me and, unless that's changed recently, it's the style you had when you got to know your husband.

'Are you really wearing that?' doesn't sound like a very nice thing to say at all.

Can you ask him what he's getting at and why he's trying to change you?

M0nica Fri 16-Jul-21 21:20:04

My sister has a husband who is a graphic designer and has a strong sense of style, she always takes him with her when she goes clothes shopping and he always suggests clothes she should try on. She loves it, she says it gives her confidence if she likes something and he likes it as well.

My DH has no sense of style when it comes to women's clothes. I never take him clothes shopping with me. I would rather like to have a DH who took an intelligent interest in what I wore, as it is I relie on DD, DDil and now DGD

Itsawelshthing, I envy you having a DH with an interest in what you wear.

Greeneyedgirl Fri 16-Jul-21 21:24:43

I would hate my OH telling me what to wear, I would consider it quite controlling actually.

JaneJudge Fri 16-Jul-21 21:28:03


H1954 Fri 16-Jul-21 21:31:22

Actually, my OH is colour blind so I do tend not to take his ideas on board. Added to that, we are in a new relationship but his ex wife, a very large woman by all accounts, had some very odd ideas which do seem to be instilled in his mindset. Can't see me wearing mid-calf length knife pleated polyester skirts with elasticated waists any time soon.

MerylStreep Fri 16-Jul-21 21:45:06

There seems to be a lot of controlling going on in your marriage.
I remember your post about choosing the decor in your new home.
It’s your choice, have your voice heard or succumb to your husbands wishes at every turn.
Your still a young woman, decide how you want the rest of your life with your husband to be.

muse Fri 16-Jul-21 21:45:52

No but he does comment when he likes something I'm wearing or just my general appearance sometimes.
3/4 of the time I look grubby --sweaty -- a bit unkempt from gardening

Elleee Fri 16-Jul-21 21:46:27

My husband has never, ever commented in a derogatory way about anything I wear (I love clothes btw) but have been seen knocking about in bleach stained, frayed on the edges where the puppy had a ball, only in the house though
I am the one veering into the clothes aisles, while he stand patiently with the trolley
If you are happy with how you look, then surely, as a grown woman, it's your choice to wear what you like

nexus63 Fri 16-Jul-21 21:54:08

i have been wearing straight legged jogging trousers for the last 10 years (some people dont even realise they are jogging trousers), i have them in various colours, all from the mens dept at primark, i have to cut and hem every pair, i can hear GN saying oh my how could i have severe psoriasis down both legs (about 80% of my body- legs are the worse), i move, walk or bend and the skin cracks and bleeds. i always have nice tops and wear necklaces or broaches. the joggers are great because they are fleece lined. my late partner never minded what i wore as long as i was happy and comfortable, sadly the last time i wore a skirt was to his funeral last month. i know others have said wear something different for your husband, but there is no point if you are not comfortable in it. you could always try picking out clothes for your husband that you know he would not wear and see how he

Redhead56 Fri 16-Jul-21 22:25:37

Not at all my DH is clueless about what goes together. When we worked together I nagged him about his dress sense. Looking rather untidy he is not interested in image. He does compliment my appearance and I decide what he is going to wear when we are going out.