I have left

Well done I left an abusive husband after 41 years of marriage. I’m so happy on my own . You will be too

I just read your updates didn’t realise this was an older post. It sounds like you are doing amazing. Brilliant news.

You are very brave DeeDee now it’s time to give yourself some love. Definately keep a record of phone calls texts etc. Great advice from everyone on here. Please don’t be tempted to go back. Keep us updated and you rant all you like. ?

Deedee it’s so nice to hear how things are for you and that you are happy with your new life. It takes courage, and you did it.

My poor mum never had enough to do what you have done and she remained unhappy til the end. When I think she could have had her last 25 years in peace it makes me sad.
Well done, here’s to peace love and contentment.

So pleased for you.

What a brave lady you are. I hope 2022 is treating you kindly and you no longer have to tread on egg shells x
Has your dad applied for attendance allowance ? It might help x

DeeDee and failure DO NOT BELONG IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

Well done you of course you have mixed emotions, that is only to be expected, BUT you have so done the right thing.

Yes, keep us all posted DeeDee.

Lovely to hear from you deedee Happy New Year!

It's a pity about his mental illness, but it's not your fault, and it's not an illness you can cure. You did the right thing.

So lovely to hear you are doing so well deedee

I always look out for your thread, and love your updates.

Have a great new year in your new home xx

Lovely to read this DeeDee Sounds like you had a wonderful Christmas, hope 2022 brings you many good things.

I've just seen your update DeeDee. I hope you had a lovely Christmas. Your new life sounds great. All the best for a New Year.

Hello all I hope you are well.....well this will be my first Christmas in my new home. The decorations are up and I have had my grandchildren over for sleepovers and Christmas crafting which has been lovely. They have decorated my porch with paper gingerbread houses and wreaths. It looks very festive. I have wrapped all presents today while listening to Christmas music with a glass of Mediterranean Orange Gin (if you're a gin lover you really need to try this) and lemonade with lots of ice. Just perfect. I still do cake day on a Friday so will be doing it on Christmas eve. I always put little gifts on the tree for my sisters and sister in law to find. They prefer it to separate gifts. This year it Jimmy Choo mini perfumes (the bottles are gorgeous), Candles in beautifully decorated tins and hot chocolate bombs.
It will feel strange this year but I will make the best of it and count my blessings as everything just seemed to slot into place after my separation and I am so thankful for that.
I know it all seems hopeless if you are in a situation like mine but believe me it's not hopeless. You can take charge of your own life and happiness with family and friends support so please don't think you have no options, you have you just need to be brave and plan for leaving and taking back control. I know it was the only way left for me. Take care everyone ❤

Thanks for the update deedee

So glad everything is working out for you. You should be really proud of yourself!

Great news deedee and thanks for the update.
You are inspirational.
Well done and congratulations on your achievements.

Just read this thread. I can't tell you how pleased I am for you.. Your family too must be relieved and happy to see you settled so comfortably and safe. All the very best for your future.

what a lovely update well done for being so brave xx

Very happy for you DeeDee. Glad you're now having some fun and enjoying life. Just a thought, if you're acting as a carer for your Dad. Possibly you might be entitled to a carers allowance? I know you're doing it cos he's your Dad, but worth a thought. Thanks for the good news update.

Congrats! deedee, you’re turning your life around and sounding so positive. It must feel so good to be making decisions for yourself on your terms and doing and planning stuff that makes you happy. And how lovely that in helping your Dad, you’ll also feel really appreciated - for a change.
As you say, life is short - please make sure you squeeze every last drop of happiness out of each day and live life to the full.
Lots of luck to you and well done.

Great to hear you are moving on and most of all enjoying life at last. Very best wishes to you for continued happiness.

Hi all. I hope you are all keeping well. Winter is definitely on it's way. It's bloomin freezing out!! I'm really settled now. The grandchildren are off school this week and I've arranged a couple of sleepovers and craft days with them and I can't wait ?. Hubby has been referred to a psychiatrist. I'm not really surprised by this and I honestly do hope he gets sorted and eventually be able to enjoy life again. I have spoken to him and it was all very ammicable. I think he knows now I won't take any crap. We have decided to get Christmas out of the way and then move forward with the house sale. He's not in the right mind to do it yet and I am not going to be blamed for putting the pressure on. I'm ok as I am. I'm learning to budget and I'm surprised at the help that is out there if you do your own digging. The authorities don't tell you. I have contacted my water provider and I have applied for a scheme called The Big Difference who provide water rate reductions for people on low incomes.
I am also going to be my dads unpaid carer. He is 84yrs old and has always been very independent but when we went on holiday for his birthday I realised how fragile he had become. We'll help each other though really. I will do his cooking, cleaning etc and he will give me purpose and a reason to get up in a morning so it's a win for both of us.
I'm going on a coach trip to York Christmas Market on 4th December with my daughter, both sisters and my Aunty. I love York. I would have made excuses not to go before because of the arguments it would cause but I am determined that if I'm asked to go somewhere I am going ?. You don't need lot's of money to enjoy time with family and friends. Just window shopping and a cuppa and a chat is more than enough for me.
Anyway keep safe everyone but most importantly be happy. Life really is too short to be lived in misery and fear xxx

Bully1 I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you agot a trusted family member or friend that you can stay with until you get sorted hun. That's what I did. I was on my daughters sofa when I contacted the council for help. I had nothing apart from a few items of clothing and not a lot of money but I spoke to a lot of different authorities to get my council bungalow, council tax down to £11 pound a month, my rent paid etc. It can be done. It's not easy but with a good support network around you it is definitely better than walking on eggshells every day. Accept all the help you can. I say my home is furnished with love as the majority has been given to me, bought for me, made for me by family or friends. Don't stay if your unhappy or scared. Please seek help!!

So happy for you! Enjoy your lovely new home and relax into your new safe life. X

Very well done, I am in the same situation I am 62 and wasted my life. He shows no affection at all, I would love to leave I have no money of my own. I am thinking of getting in touch with the housing association that’s the only thing I can think of all the very best you are a great person xx

the diary idea is a good one.
some places are selling student ones which begin about now.
do record everything of note, events, contacts etc.
also maybe a journal for more personal reflections, feelings etc.
onward and upward !
yabba dabba doo !